The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter
by The Flying Author
Summary: The final chapter: The daughter of Harry and Ginny Potter has finally grown up. She has her own kid, her ten year Hogwarts reunion is coming up, and love had returned. COMPLETED.
1. The Unfairness of Being The Only Girl

_ The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter  
Chapter One: The Unfairness of Being The Only Girl  
_  
Disclaimer: Okay, so, besides that fact that I am just some poor American person who hates school, and about the only thing I own is the "Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics" Poster hanging on my wall, do not be fooled by the fact that I say that I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER! I am really J.K. Rowling, but have to disguise myself so people do not know that I am me...Okay, disregard that last bit, my muses took over. Actually, the only things I own are all the OC people. Everything else belongs to the people who own that son, band or story, or character.  
  
Authors Note: I really don't have anything to say...I mean, this story has been in the works since January, and I have edited this chapter alone like, twenty times...so, just PLEASE review!  
  
Dedication: This chapter is to Court, the first one who read this, and said it was my autobiography, only told through different people. I know that you will never read this, but you said that this was good, and got mad at me when I wouldn't work on this chapter.  
  
Now, with out further ado, the first installment of my newest story, The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter...

  
  
August 25th, 11:42 AM

My Bedroom, looking out the window at the rain  
  
Hi, my name is Lily Audrey Potter, and I hate my life. I am the second oldest in my family, and I hate it. I have an older brother (by only six and a half minutes) named Remus, and two younger brothers (one by five minutes, sixteen seconds, the other by ten minutes exactly) named James and Sirius. And I hate my life. As you might have guessed it, my brothers and I are quadruplets. And I hate it.  
  
Why would I hate it so much? Because I am the only girl in the whole figgen family, besides my mum, and I am currently furious with her. I should describe myself, shouldn't I?  
  
Ok. So, I have this auburn-looking hair, to start with. My hair used to have black steaks in it, but the streaks started fading, and Mum flipped out when I asked her if I could get it redone, seeing as I didn't ask her if I could do it in the first place. I have bright emerald eyes, flicked with brown. I have the saddest pale skin, which I have no clue which parent I got that from, seeing as they both are sort of pale. But anyway, I am very short for my age; I am seventeen, and only 5'1". And it's not like I wanted to be this short. Really, I didn't.  
  
I love rock music, and writing. Poetry is amazing. Being able to express whole feelings within a verse of words that make everything seem simple is wonderful. And writing stories based off of fictional characters. I love doing that. It is so much fun just to take what other people have written, and write my own stories based off of that, and twist the characters so much, that they start to take on your life.  
  
Rock music is another one of my loves. My brother, Remus, formed a band called Scarface, which we got the title from my dad. See, I am the lead singer of the band, Remus plays bass, Remus' friend, Benny plays drums, and the Malfoy twins, Drew, who plays lead guitar, and who we affectionately named "Spike," (because he looks like the blonde vampire on that one muggle show that his mum loves so much) and his brother Dan, who plays guitar as well.  
  
Needless to say, my parents are Harry and Ginny Potter. How I got them for parents, I have no idea. Trust me, my life is already pretty screwed up without having the press hounding us every waking moment. And right now mum is pounding on my ceiling as I write this with a broom. I wonder if it is Dad's Firebolt. He would be so mad if it was. But I know mum would never do that. She loves qudditch as much as he does.  
  
But anyway, I live in the basement of the house. My room is chili pepper red, with band posters adorning the walls. I have a computer, courtesy of my dad, who is the top auror at the Ministry. It baffles mum, but I love it, and so do my brothers. I might be a witch, but I love some of the things that muggles have, like computers. And I also love their music, especially the rock music. I love muggle rock music, because it is so much better than the fifty's sounding songs that they play on the Wizard Wireless all the time. Really, who _wants _to listen to somebody trying, and failing miserably, to be Elvis? My mum does.  
  
And mum is pounding again. She is screaming at me something that sounds like "Turn that bloody noise off! You'll wake the dead!" But I can't tell, not that I care anyway. See, my mum and me have always had problems with our "mother/daughter relationship." And I mean, I love her and all, it is just that we don't get together that well. According to her I am a "Goth," and in truth, I'm not. I don't know what I am; I just know I am not a Goth. I know that much. So, besides my "Identity Problem" as Dad calls it, she complains _all the friggen time_ about how I look. I hardly ever wear dresses, because I hate them, honestly, they are made for people who _actually_ have curves, something I was not fortunate enough to get from the gene pool.  
  
So today, we got our Hogwarts letters, right? So Remus, who besides being a punk/hard rocker, is the smartest kid at school, and is a Prefect. So he got Head Boy. Huge surprise there. Not. Like, he was destined to be Head Boy since first year. So it really was no surprise at all. So then mum turns to me and is like all, "Lily, what did you get?" I mean, James got Griffindor Qudditch Captain, and Sirius got co-captain, and what did I get? Well, I got nothing.  
  
"I got nothing mum. Just a normal seventh-year letter! Well, now that you mention it, Dumbledore did write me saying that he _explicitly_ told me that I absolutely _cannot _shrink my piano and bring it with me, to play in the Astronomy Tower, and try to be Amy Lee. He said that the owls are bothered by it. How 'My Immortal' bothers the birds, I have no idea. " You could just see her face paling as I was talking. Pretty funny, actually.  
  
"What?" She said, shocked. "N-N-Nothing? Just and ordinary Seventh Year Letter!"  
  
"Yes. I got nothing Mum. So go, buy Remus that new set of books he has been wanting, and get Sirius and James their new brooms. I'll take Drew and Dan and go to muggle London and check out some of the new CD's that are out." I said, thrusting my letter and her, and tromping down to my room to go floo Drew and Dan.  
  
"What?" She asked, still comprehending what I had said. "You are what? You are not going to Muggle London. You are going to Diagon Alley with me and your brothers." She said. "I'll floo your dad and ask him to come." And she went off to go floo Dad. Personally, I just wanted to stay home. I know Dad was Qudditch Captain, and Mum was Head Girl, and they want us to be just like them, but really. They should be all happy for their son's and all, but they would just look down on me, and wonder why I wasn't like my brothers. And that hurts.  
  
My parents expect me to be everything they were. But I'm sorry; I can't go defeating evil forces every other day. If they haven't noticed, all the Death Eaters were caught last week! Oops! I seemed to miss out on the being-what-my-parents-were bandwagon a long time ago. I am part of a rock band named after my dad. Shouldn't that count as something? I mean, they didn't get mad at Remus when he brought Benny, Drew, and Dan home one night so we could practice one night all plugged up, with only James and Sirius in a mosh pit, and Dad walking around in ear plugs, repairing things with magic, while humming the Hogwarts School Song.  
  
Well, I have to go, mum is yelling at me that Dad is home, and Drew and Dan just popped out of my fireplace.  
  
Lily

* * *

Later (But still the same day) 

11:52 PM Sitting underneath the stairs, drying my tears.  
  
Needless to say, Dad made me go with him, the boys and Mum. But Drew and Dan came with us too. And eventually in the Leaky Cauldron, we met up with Benny. So we all ditched Mum, Dad, James, and Sirius, and the whole band went shopping. It went like this.  
  
Me: Hey dudes. Where do you want to go?  
  
Drew: I need to get a haircut.  
  
The rest of us look at him oddly.  
  
Drew: What! Mum threatened to send me to Hogwarts bald if I didn't get it cut!  
  
Benny: Dude, just gel it up. That's what I do! (Points at the foot-high spikes of hair on his head.)  
  
Remus: Yep. Hey, and then you all can help me turn my Head Boy Badge red.  
  
The rest of us, besides me, because I already knew, look at him oddly. You can hear crickets in the background.  
  
Dan: (tosses his hair out of his eyes) You got Head Boy? Spiffy! You get your own rooms!  
  
Remus: Ya...  
  
Me: (Sarcastically) Oh, yes. Mum was just jumping for joy.  
  
Benny: Really! Nifftyness!  
  
Drew: She was being sarcastic, right?  
  
Dan: (Exasperatingly) Yes, Drew, she was.  
  
Benny: Arse hole! Mum found me!  
  
Mrs. Benny's Mum: Benny! My little bunny! (Really, she said this.) There you are! What did I tell you about hoping off from mummy? No more new drumsticks for your drums for a week my wittle bunny!  
  
Benny: Save me! (His mum whacks him in the head with something that resembled a bag of kitty litter. I didn't even _know_ Benny had a cat.) I mean, bye!  
  
And then Benny left us.  
  
Drew: So, Lilykins, how is that new song coming along.  
  
Me: (Having no idea _what_ he is talking about) Great!  
  
Drew: Wonderful! So, how about stopping by my place later, and show it to me... (He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.)  
  
Remus: Drew! You pervert! Leave my sister alone!  
  
By this time Drew has his arm around me, and is whispering in my ear about Dan's pink silk boxer shorts. And, of course, I was giggling.  
  
Dan: Andrew Alexander Malfoy! Leave her alone you great pervert!  
  
Oh, and I suppose right now would be a great time to let you in on a little secret that I have had holed up inside of me for two years. I am in love with Dan Malfoy. I mean we are talking second smartest guy at school here! He even has his own newspaper, and everybody who likes punk music reads it. And he can play "Stairway to Heaven." Who would not love somebody who can play that song, and sing it? I mean, wow. Even Remus can't play that! But he just says that's because he is not fond of the song... anyway, back to the story at hand.  
  
Me: Yes Drew, listen to Dan.  
  
Remus: Oh Lily, you are just saying that because—(I hurriedly slam my hand over his mouth, making the rest of what he was going to say mumbled. See, he knows my secret. Horrible, long story that should be saved for a rainy day...)  
  
Dan: What was he going to say?  
  
Me: N-N-Nothing! He, was just um... (Remus licks my hand.) Eww! REMUS!  
  
Enter: Mum  
  
Mum: Lily! What are you screaming about? People are looking at you!  
  
Me: Remus licked me!  
  
Mum: That is no reason to scream! You can go back home now. You didn't want to go with us anyway, as you don't seem to be happy for what your brothers have accomplished.  
  
Me: What?  
  
Mum: Go home. Dan, would you be as kind as to make sure Lily makes it home, and does not wander off into Muggle London?  
  
Dan: Sure Mrs. Potter.  
  
And that was that. Besides getting yelled at for something _Remus_ did, I have to have an escort _home_. Seriously, that woman has some trust issues. So, Dan puts his hand on my shoulder, and I could like, _feel_ myself blushing.  
  
Me: When will you be home Mum?  
  
Mum: About three hours. Oh, and Dan, when you take her home, do you think you could do a locking charm on the house so she doesn't leave?  
  
Dan: Sure.  
  
I was so mad. She doesn't trust me. She treats me like a five-year- old kid! I mean seriously, I am not going to go running off every five minutes! So Dan walked me to the Leaky Cauldron, where we floo'd to my bedroom. But Dan didn't leave. Instead, he talked to me.  
  
Dan: Lily?  
  
Me: Yes?  
  
Dan: Hey, I came up with a song. Would you like to hear it?  
  
Me: Sure.  
  
Dan: Where is your piano?  
  
Me: Piano?  
  
Dan: Ya, if you are interested, I can teach it to you, and maybe we could have a duet type thing.  
  
Me: Like, me on piano and you on guitar?  
  
Dan: No, like you singing, and me playing.  
  
Me: I didn't know you played piano!  
  
Dan: Dad made me learn. He said I should learn it, because he did, and he is very happy that he did.  
  
Me: Why?  
  
Dan: Because he supposedly "wooed" mum with his skills on the piano.  
  
Me: Oh. Well, um, the piano is in the other room...  
  
So we spent the rest of the time playing the song, or in my case, learning it. But, sadly, Mum came home before Dan left, and that earned itself a row.  
  
She started yelling at me about how I was too young to have guys over without her home, and even though he could be trusted, because she still remembered his father at his age. That got me mad.  
  
"HE IS NOT HIS DAD MUM!"  
  
"That doesn't matter. He is a teenage boy with hormones." Honestly, and this women had kids? She should join a nunnery!  
  
"IT IS JUST LIKE HOW I AM NOT YOU! YOU JUST WANT ME TO BE PERFECT JUST LIKE YOU, MUM! WELL, GUESS WHAT! I'M NOT! I AM NOT FRIGGEN PERFECT!" Then I stomped off to my little hiding spot under the stairs that go down to the basement where me room is, and tore out my diary, tears streaming down my face.  
  
Oh, I have to go, people are coming down the stairs.  
  
Lily

* * *

September 1st, 11:58 PM 

Sitting in my dorm all by myself, because I am the only girl in my year.  
  
Ok, so, like, today is the day we go back, right? Well, me the band and some of our "posse" like to do odd stuff. Like send toilet seats to people, and such. And our posse wanted to hear us perform, because they hadn't heard us play for some time. So we decided that the prefect time to do it would be after the feast, in the Astronomy Tower. And it was so much fun, too.  
  
Remus and Dan managed to magic us our equipment, so we could play, or in my case, sing. And pretty soon we had a mosh pit of all the Seventh Years from Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Gryffindor. The Slythrins have their own band, but for the life of me, I can't remember what it is called... And pretty soon, we got to the part where Dan and me do our little piece. He found a song called "Let It Be," this really sad song that the Beatles did, and its really petty, and all, and it makes me want to cry. But anyway, I sing while he plays. It was like, amazing.  
  
You could see all these people that knew the song, singing, or mouthing it. And I suppose this is where Dumbledore came in. The song was soon over, and Benny started the drums for "Easy Target" by Blink 182. And then I saw Dumbledore. He was just looking at me, that little twinkle in his eyes. And then he broke our mini-concert up.  
  
"I am sure that Scarface is a wonderful band, but please, I could hear you in my office. And Miss Potter, I believe I _explicitly _sent you a letter telling you refrain from playing up here. I am now forced to write to each of your parents." And he left. And all I could think was, oh crap.  
  
Mum is one that does not take my supposed "delinquency," according to Snape, well. In fact, she about flies off her rocker when I get notes home. And they always result in Howlers. You should have heard that one howler I got because I ambushed the qudditch team with my charmed CD player turned up as loud as it would go, and playing Brittany Spear's "Hit Me Baby One More Time." That was good. And the howler was even better. She looks so funny when she gets mad, too.  
  
Delinquently yours,  
  
Lily

* * *

September 5th 2:53 PM 

Snape's class, trying to beat my dad's potions score  
  
Ok, so it has been four days, and still no howler....  
  
Crap, Snape is walking my way.  
  
Hopefully Howler Free,  
  
Lily  
  
September 8th 12:32 Pm The Great Hall, eating lime sherbet.  
  
Right, so it has been seven days, and still no howler. This is getting off-the-wall odd. That, and Drew ran around yesterday screaming "Buddha." Don't ask me why.  
  
I don't know why, but I have been feeling insanely depressed lately. And I wrote a poem about it in History yesterday, too. I'll just write it down, so I will distract myself from the lime sherbet...  
  
Silence  
  
Silence is often associated with calmness.  
But I don't think it should.  
  
With silence you have an uneasy rest.  
You know something is going to happen.  
  
I hate silence,  
The thought scares me.  
  
Silence to me would be to not have a single thought,  
To have a mind with nothing on it  
  
To be silent I believe one would have to be dead,  
Your mind would not be creating.  
  
That is why silence scares me.  
Not being able to put out thoughts.  
  
Music is silence.  
The pounding tunes always give thought to a soul.  
  
The words come out when the music plays.  
Creates the best kind of silence.  
  
Creative Silence  
  
Ok, so it wasn't that sad, but hey, mum would put me into counseling if she read it. Hey, the Great Hall doors just opened, and mum is walking in, with Dad trailing behind her, seeming to take in the ceiling. Hey, and she is walking over to me... Wait, why would mum be here, walking over to me? Oh crud, I'm screwed. She is coming over to me.  
  
"Lily." She is saying, very calmly, but you can hear the anger in it. Oh, and now Dumbledore is walking over, too.  
  
"Mrs. Potter..." He is saying.  
  
"Don't 'Mrs. Potter' me Dumbledore, you make me sound old. It's Ginny."  
  
"Ginny, _please,_ don't..." Hey, he stopped talking and now Mum is reaching me and trying to....

To be continued...


	2. The Love Lives of Hogwarts

_The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter  
Chapter Two: The Love Lives of Hogwarts  
_  
Authoress Note: I was too lazy to go through this chapter, but spell check said that everything was correct, such as spelling and grammar, so...yes. I have nothing interesting to say, except that my friend, C, had crowned me Queen of Cliffhangers. And that's about all that I have to say, so I will just stop rambling.  
  
I do have something to say, though. Jay and Bray are based off of real people. So, I hope you find that fascinating.  
  
Disclaimer: I own all of the original characters, both new and old...okay, so I am too tired to come up with anything good, because I was at a dance for graduation last night until 11, because they wouldn't let me leave early, and then I didn't leave the place until 11:30, and then, I got to bed after midnight, I was going to proof-read the already typed up chapters, and fell asleep while doing that, with the light on, and woke up with a pencil poking my leg. And that was a very long run-on sentence. I'll just give you the story.  
  
Dedication: This is for C, who helped write part of this chapter, and help me plot this thing, and who is going to be a fanatic fan girl with me when we see Harry Potter 3 on the 4th! I am like, insane about the new movie...anyway...the story...

* * *

Wednesday, September 8th, still, 9:49 PM 

Hiding out in Bray (Sunshine) and Jay's (Happiness) room in the Slytherin Dorms  
  
I'll get on to why I am in the Slytherin Dorms later, right now I'll write about what happened next.  
  
Ok. So mum looks like she could kill me, and Dad just plops right down next to me at Gryffindor Table. "Lily," he said, "Did I ever tell you what Hermione told me the first time I ever set foot in this hall?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"She told me about the ceiling, and how it was enchanted to look like the sky."  
  
"Right..."  
  
"But that has nothing to do with why your mum and I are here. You violated school rules."  
  
"Like you didn't when you went here?"  
  
"Lily, that was twenty years ago. Totally different times."  
  
"Oh yes, that was different because you had an evil dark lord after you."  
  
"How did you know about that?"  
  
"I read Dad. I read the history books that you are in, and I read that one series that you told the muggle woman to write. I'm not stupid Dad."  
  
"I know. But sometimes, I just wish that you didn't know so much."  
  
"Right..."  
  
"But we are getting past the point. Dumbledore told you that you could not have band sessions, or what ever you call them, in the Astronomy Tower. Your mum is about to kill you."  
  
"Right..."  
  
"And I know what it feels like to not belong, and doing things to make you feel like you belong..."  
  
"What make you think I don't belong?"  
  
"Lily..." Obviously, he was not too good about being subtle. Honestly, he should take classes on it. Who randomly just goes out and says, "I know you don't feel like you belong!"  
  
"Dad, I can't—God, you sound like a freaking shrink!"  
  
"Lily—"  
  
"Don't start Dad. Just leave me alone." And I ran away from that hall. I could tell that everyone was watching me. Then I heard somebody following me, as I came to a dead-end in a hallway.  
  
"Lily?" Mum had come to see if I was okay. And she was the last person I wanted to see at that point.  
  
"What?" I spat at her.  
  
"Lily, honey, I need to tell you something."  
  
I just looked at her.  
  
"You know what happened down in the Chamber of Secrets, but what you don't know is what happened the summer after."  
  
Again, I just looked at her.  
  
"Right...Um...My mum was very, suffocating that summer, and I couldn't stand it. A diary had possessed me, because I was ignored. But that summer, it was nice to finally have people notice me, but not in an overprotective, suffocating way.  
  
"And I did some thinking when I got that note from Dumbledore. I thought about how suffocating, I, myself can be. I remember what it was like when I was your age, because, truthfully, that was only eighteen years ago. And, I just want to make sure that you don't get hurt, and I can't stop thinking about you as my little girl who used to ask me to put your hair up for you so that you could go play with your brothers, and I am sorry for not letting you be your own person, but Lily, you need to obey the rules every once and a while."  
  
I knew that she was going to mention breaking the rules.  
  
"Lily, you need to start paying attention to what the rules are. I don't know what to do with you anymore. But I will try to give you more space. Please, promise me that you will obey the rules. Please Lily."  
  
I looked at her. She understood? Understood what? Because as far as I could tell, nothing was wrong with me. And she and dad were going on about being suffocated and not belonging? What the hell were they talking about? I honestly did not know what they were getting to. And I didn't want to know. So I just ran away. And I ran to the only place I knew I would be accepted, the Seventh Year Slytherin Girls Dormitories. Or, as the rest of us know it as, Sunshine and Happiness', my two best friends', Lair. They were the only girls in our year sorted into Slytherin, but some say others were sorted into Slytherin as well, but by the first night, they all moved to Hufflepuff for fear of their sanity.  
  
I kept on running until I reached the entry to the Slytherin Common rooms. I said the password, and was instantly and insanely welcomed by Sunshine and Happiness, because that is just what kind of people they are.  
  
And just because I feel like it, I will write down their past. And also, because they are yelling at me that if I am writing, it should be concerning their remarkable and exotic pasts, which are full of overwhelming attempts of odd and unusual accomplishments on their part. Right...  
  
Anyway, Sunshine and Happiness are actually Braessa and Jaessa Starsley. They are sisters, but I believe that at least one of them is adopted, if not both. They were taken from their wizarding families, and brought up by muggles, which might not have been too wise on whoever's part that was, because being raised by muggles only infused the strangeness of my two best friends.  
  
Take Braessa, for example. She uses both American and Spanish muggle words, even though nobody knows where she picked them up. She loves the Japanese Culture, and has a fine collection of Japanese weapons, too. Not to mention she loves Shinedown, Revis, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Yellowcard, Audioslave, Disturbed, Marilyn Manson, Evanescence, Led Zeppelin, Queen, and Pink Floyd, which are all very much muggle bands. She also loves to sing and write, and almost never is without a song stuck in her head. But she still has her magical bits in her too. And Jaessa is just as interesting.  
  
Jaessa likes the same things as Braessa, but hers are altered a little bit. Her hair is copper-red, with black tips, very different from Braessa. She loves to write, and constantly is. I don't think she could go a day without coming up with some new idea for a story. I could go on for forever about her, too, but I can't, seeing as Dan and Drew have walked in, Dan is walking over to me, and is now hugging me, saying that he understands how I feel, and I am like going to faint because I can feel his muscles he has developed from Qudditch, while Drew went over to Sunshine and they have gone over to a corner to converse, and Happiness just left, mumbling something like, "Fluff! Oh the horror! Just like those burning light bulbs...curse faulty light bulbs..."  
  
Lily

* * *

Wednesday, or Thursday, September 8th, or is it 9th? 

I don't know, but it is probably past midnight, so it probably is the 9th, anyway, I am behind the statue of Uric the Oddball.  
  
I'm writing this down now, because once it happens I'll probably be too freaked out to write it down.  
  
Anyway, this is what happened after Happiness left the room earlier. "Happiness really has a thing against "fluff" doesn't she?" From their corner I heard Drew and Sunshine talking about Happiness' hasty exit.  
  
"Yeah..." Sunshine looked thoughtful, which is never good. "Maybe...we could really give her something to complain about." She whispered in his ear. Dan had left by now, saying that he missed lunch due to homework, and all I could think about how smart, and hot, and strong, and how amazing he is, and how I have been in love with him for like, ever, and... so he left to go to the kitchens, so I had nobody to consult with the possibility of the danger of the others plotting.  
  
I was really scared, I mean, Sunshine plotting is bad enough but adding Drew to the mix? Never good, sometimes I think he secretly trains as a prankster with my uncles. I can just picture Uncle Fred saying, "May the prank be with you." And Uncle George saying, "And remember, always use Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes in your pranking endeavors!"  
  
Anyway, I now sit behind this really ugly statue so I can see what happens to Happiness. They, Bray and Drew, have planned a prank snog session on the route of Happiness' usual evening walk. Happiness will probably be scarred for life; she told me once that the last thing she would ever want to see would be her sister and some guy having a snog fest.  
  
Actually, diary, I think they won't be pretending...  
  
Lily

* * *

Thursday, September 9th, 3:01 AM 

My unbelievably empty dorm, unable to sleep due to my current state of shock  
  
So I couldn't sleep, not after what I saw anyway. I wish now that I would have picked a different statue.  
  
Happiness, or Jay Jay, takes a walk every evening without fail. She walks the 4th floor corridor past the statue of Uric the Oddball, which is really weird. So I figured if Bray and Drew were setting up a snog session they would do it somewhere around there. I was right, but I didn't know how right I was. Anyway, they set up shop right next to MY STATUE! If they had glanced to their right they would have noticed a horror-stricken Lily. But they were too interested in what they were, uh...doing.  
  
You know, for this being a prank, they were having a pretty good time with it.  
  
So a few minutes into their fun, Happiness comes walking along the hallway. When I saw her face I knew there was a reason I was sitting here. It was priceless, scary, but still priceless. I was suddenly glad I bewitched my Polaroid camera.  
  
I leapt from behind the statue, camera flashing. Drew, Bray, and Jay were in various stages of embarrassment and rage. All of them chased me back to Gryffindor Tower right into...  
  
The arms of my crush, which I have been in love with for like, ever. Dan was just standing there, staring on in shock at the scene. Happiness was green in the face, about to cry, and Drew and Sunshine were back to getting it on in their own little world. It was really disgusting. I mean, from a best friend point of view, I could see where they both were coming from. I mean, if you saw your sister, and some guy going at it, or your brother and some girl going at it, you would be disturbed too.  
  
"Jesu Christo!" Jay Jay screamed. "What are you people? Rabbits?" She cried, running away. I watched her as she ran away.  
  
"Happiness!" I yelled after the retreating form, but it was in vane. I started yelling at Drew and Bray, because I knew I could never catch up with Jay Jay.  
  
"HOW COULD YOU? YOU JUST SCARRED HER FOR LIFE!" And I turned around, grabbed Dan's hand, and tromped off, leaving the other two to continue their snog session. Dan and I—well, Dan rather reluctantly—stomped off to the common room, while I was mumbling about the indecency of people these days.  
  
"Uh...Lils? Do you think you could let go of me? I really need to be somewhere..." He said, looking slightly uncomfortable.  
  
"Oh sure," I said, letting go of his arm, and coming up here to write.  
  
And something just dawned on me. Where was Dan going? Maybe he was going to meet some girl who looked like that annoying American actress-turned- horrible-wanna-be-pop/trying-to-look-slightly-punk-in-order-to-attract- older-teens-singer-who-really-sucks named Hilary Duff, or something, in a broom closet, and snog her senseless? All because he is so totally uninterested in me, and would so date a blonde muggle before going out with me! He would probably date a mule before he would date me! God, I am so hopelessly in love with my brother's best friend... And then...what if the girl was like, the next Albert Einstein, and all, and he ran off with her, and had little Einstein's, and then be like, "Lily who? Oh, her...ya, she was my intelligent best friends little sister. Didn't she used to be obsessed with me or something?" Or say something like that in his smart ways, leaving me to worship the ground he formerly walked on...  
  
Lily

* * *

Still September 9th, only it is 3:36 AM 

Same place, only not in shock  
  
I just read my last paragraph, and discovered something. I have serious insecurity issues. Merlin, help me.  
  
Living with a major lack of self-confidence romance wise,

Lily

* * *

Sunday, September 26th 10:43 PM 

My room, with excruciatingly painful cramps  
  
My apologies for not writing for so long, Happiness thought that as a get- you-back-for-not-stopping-then prank, she hid you, in the owl droppings of James' owl, Alexander Julian. Don't ask about the odd name, I believe James was participating in some under-age drinking when he came up with the name...  
  
Anyway, the point is that NEWTS are like, 10 months away, and the teachers are rubbing it in our faces. Literally. Example A: Snape. In potions class a week ago, he was lecturing us about how our essay writing skills need to improve before we even THINK about taking NEWTS, and I could here him literally sniggering under his breath, "it has been 30 years since I had to take those things...he, he, he, I think that I will get drunk tonight, and try to have a threesome with some drunk people at the bar..."  
  
And that is just wrong. Teachers should be kind, caring, gentle people, who do not decide they are going to have threesomes with other drunken people that night in the middle of class. It is just wrong.

Lily

* * *

Thursday, September 30th 6:06 PM 

In the Great Hall, staring longingly at Dan, without him noticing  
  
Right, so NOTHING has happened this week. That is like, a record for this school. Oh, but I did meet some of the first years, though. They are really shrimpy this year. Like, the tallest one is 4'1". It is really sad. They are so small, and it didn't help them that one week when all Drew would say was chants to Buddha. That was hilarious.  
  
That week, in potions, Snape asked him what the main ingredient in the Polyjuice Potion was, and as a reply, Drew started chanting.  
  
"OH BUDDHA..." he chanted, "GIVE OL' SNIVELLUS THE COURAGE NOT TO ASK US QUESTIONS THAT HE KNOES NOBODY HAS THE ANSWER TO IN ORDER TO DECUCT POINTS FROM OUR HOUSES. AND ALSO, HELP HIM LEARN HOW TO WASH HIS HAIR, BECAUSE IF SEVVY OVER HERE WERE TO GO TOO CLOSE TO A FLAME, HIS HAIR COULD CAUSE A GREASE FIRE...AND HELP HIM WOO PROFESSOR SINISTRA, FOR WE ALL KNOW HE SECRETLY LUSTS AFTER HER. ALSO HELP OUR DEAR SNIVELLUS LOSE THE DARK ARTS JOB THAT WE ALL KNOW HE WANTS, AND PLEASE, HELP THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE IN HIS FAN CLUB GET HELP." Needless to say, he got detention for a month for it.  
  
Anyway, one of my dad's friends, Neville Longbottom, his first kid, Neptune Longbottom started school this year. I think half the school laughed when "Longbottom, Neptune," was called. But, I feel sorry for the poor kid, I mean, it's not his fault his mother was known as Loony Lovegood when she went to school. But, anyway, he walked up to me this week, and was like, "Lily?"  
  
I looked down at him. I babysat him a few times, seeing as I am seven years older than him, but I haven't seen him in a year or so.  
  
"Hey! Neptune! How are you?"  
  
"Um...L-L-Lily, t-t-the one b-b-bloke w-w-who is d-d-doing B-B-Buddha ch-ch- chants, he s-s-started doing o-o-one ab-b-bout me..."  
  
"Ya, what about it?"  
  
"A-a-am I-I-I f-f-forgetful?"  
  
"No...why would you ask that?"  
  
"T-t-the b-b-bloke do-o-oing th-th-the ch-ch-chants...h-h-he s-s-saw me g-g-g- g-get th-th-the r-r-remberall th-th-that me dad s-s-sent me. And h-he s-s- said th-that I w-w-was f-f-forgetful."  
  
"Oh, don't mind him. His name is Drew, and he is in Ravenclaw. Your mum's house, isn't it? So, don't mind him, he is just a little bit off his rocker. By the first sixteen jokes, you'll get used to him. In fact, he gets down right annoying. I honestly have no idea what Sunshine sees in him...now go along to class."  
  
Ok, see? I have a nice, friendly, caring, considerate side to me! Oh, my Godfather wants to see me in his office...something about Sirius punching the wall...  
  
Lily

* * *

Still September 30th, I have no idea what time it is 

Comforting Sirius in Dumbledore's Office  
  
So my Godfather, who also happens to be Dumbledore, called me up to his office. I thought that he just wanted me to take Sirius down to the hospital wing, because the last time Sirius punched a wall, he refused to have anybody except myself take him to the Hospital Wing.  
  
I entered Dumbledore's office, and as soon as I did, a hysterical Sirius launched a teapot at me.  
  
"Lily," Dumbledore said, "young Sirius here has been in hysterics for near an hour. He has frightened some portraits, which now need to have counseling. Can you please calm him down?"  
  
I nodded, trying, but failing miserably, to calm my distraught brother. I went over, and sat down on the sofa in the office, while Sirius threw some more objects at random spots in the room, as the headmaster left quietly, calling Fawkes with him.  
  
"Sirius, what's wrong? Why did you punch a wall? Again?"  
  
"It's nothing. I just...was...frustrated I guess."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Nothing, Libby just dumped me in front of everybody, and then I got into a fight with the Slythrin Quidditch Team over practice times."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"And you know who Libby is going out with now?"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Freddy Weasley."  
  
"Our cousin? George's kid? You're kidding, right?"  
  
"No, I'm not."  
  
"Wow. She dumped you, for someone who shares like, a fourth of our genes. That is just freaky."  
  
"And you know what is worse? I started beating up the Slythrin seeker. Right in front of Snape."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"And, so Snape was all 'Mister Potter, you better have a good reason to be beating up my seeker.' And then I said, 'No sir, I don't. In fact, I just felt like beating him to a pulp because he got shirty with me over practice times.' That really didn't sit well with the greasy git. And then, Libby was all yelling at me when she broke up with me, and God, I really liked her Lils. And, Lils, I was going to ask her on graduation."  
  
"Sirius, wow. But, really, she was a girl, and Snape is a basterd. Forget Libby. Yes, you thought she was the 'one,' but she obviously did not feel the same way about you."  
  
Ok, so the speech was really aimed for a girl who got dumped, but hey, change a few words, and it works for Sirius.  
  
"But Lily, she..."  
  
"SIRIUS! She is JUST A GIRL! Don't let her get to you. So, to help you get over Libby, who I hated from the start, and I have no idea why you would want to marry her, we are going to compile a list of the best-looking girls at Hogwarts."  
  
"Lily, that sounds really gay, you know that, right?"  
  
"Shut up. I am allowing you, my little brother, to say what you want about five girls, and I will not get mad at you for saying vulgar things about them, either. You write down names, and a commentary about each person, and I also write a commentary. You can write what ever you want about each person, and I will write about that person's personality."  
  
"Okay... Lily, this still sounds completely girlish and gay..."  
  
"Hey! Whenever a girl gets dumped, this always supposedly works! I wouldn't know, because I don't participate in these things. You are going to do the same thing, only make a list of girls."  
  
I got a quill and some parchment from Dumbledore's desk, and presented it to Sirius. I'll copy the list in here, because Sirius wanted to keep the original, why, I do not know.  
  
**Sirius Potter's List of the 5 Hottest Girls in Hogwarts and in the World  
With Commentary by Sirius Potter and Lily Potter  
**  
**Abigail Finch-Fletchley  
  
Sirius: Understandably, this fine girl had many reasons for having the number one spot. She is a total babe, and her rack is amazing. She is also hard-to-get, not like Rose Parkinson, who is ultimately rumored to be the easiest lay since her mother left school, 22 years ago.  
**  
_Lily: Abigail, she is totally sweet. She is really bubbly and a total prep. The whole deal with being in Hufflepuff does have a slight draw back, and is really sensitive ever her mother died two years ago. But, she has a great personality, and is the smartest person in her house. She is also very pretty. And although she is very much prep, she is not stuck up. Her wonderful personality is enough to earn her #1.  
_  
**Emily Wood  
  
Sirius: Emily, and really hot always go together. She is totally hot, but she is totally taken by Elijah Nott, bass player in the band of Slytherin, which currently in-between names.  
**  
_Lily: Emily does look nice, and she definitely is popular with the guys, but she is one of the snottiest gits this side of the English Channel I have had the horror to meet. Her mother and Dad did have something going for a while in Dad's fifth year, and according to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, of to which was wonderfully written by the way, her mother Cho Chang Wood cried through half of the date, and promptly left Dad in the middle of the date. I personally hate Emily, and wish she was never born, one, because she goes around whispering "Lily is a Goth" to her make- believe posse, and two, because on Valentines Day last year, I was wearing black, because I hate the color pink, she turned my outfit pink, there forth forever branding herself on my "I Hate You List."  
_  
**Hilary Duff  
  
Sirius: Although she is a muggle, she is totally hot, and looks great in a bathrobe. Example: The one music video that is played in Disney Channel (satellite TV rocks, and my cousins like watching Disney when they are over) all the time. I would investigate why she is wearing a bathrobe, but whenever it is played, Lily starts screaming.  
**  
_Lily: Two words: Hate Her. She is a wanna-be, and I have no idea who she wants to be. Hilary Duff has this attitude to her that just wants to make you hate her. I hate her and her songs suck, and so do any movies and TV shows she has been in. The only reason I have ever seen her is because my cousins watch TV whenever my cousins come over, they demand that we watch Disney Channel, and they like, LOVE her. It kills me..._

**Amanda Boot  
  
Sirius: Amanda is a nice girl, who looks good, and whom I can honestly say is a very nice person. She has no acne, and will let you use her homework for copying purposes, as long as you let her use some of your homework for something she didn't do.  
**  
_Lily: I don't know Amanda, but I am assuming that she is a very nice person. The only girls I really know that well are Sunshine and Happiness. I have talked to her though, as she asked me once to help her with a homework problem. From the six words I exchanged with her, she seemed to be a nice person.  
_  
**Olive Creevy  
  
Sirius: She looked nice in that one dress she wore to the Yule Ball I took her to in the Fourth Year, and she is hot. There was a slight dispute between her and Amanda Boot, but Olive had one pimple last week, which is gone now, so she holds number 5. Olive is hot, and sweet, and gave me my first snog session in a closet.  
**  
_Lily: Well, that insight on my brother's sexual life was interesting, but Olive is a nice person, and grew up only knowing her father, as her mother was a muggle who abandoned Olive and Olive's Father, Dennis, when she found out that Dennis was in fact a wizard. She is a very sweet person who is very passive, but has been known to say, "If a young, good-looking bloke needs a good snog session, I'll provide one, but go no further." At least the girl has morals, and is still a virgin.  
_  
So, that is the compiled list. Sirius is now trying to play the movie that the Muggle Studies professor charmed to play at Hogwarts...so I must go, he seems to have calmed down, whoops, my mistake, he just threw the charmed movie into Dumbledore's Pensive...  
  
Lily  
  
To be continued...  
  
Author's End Notes: Okay, **PLEASE REVIEW**!!!!! I mean it, too. I thought, I would be nice, and not bug you, dear readers, about reviewing, and let you decide to review on your own, but it is not working. Really, just seeing one review a day makes my day, because it makes me, as a writer, and someone who does not like to have my work displayed so people can see it (or at least my poetry), feel really good about the quality of writing that I am producing.

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	3. Herbology Sucks and So Does Gray Soupy S...

_ The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter  
Chapter Three: Herbology Sucks and so Does Gray Soupy Stuff  
  
_Authoress Note: Right...I wasn't supposed to post this until Friday, but then I thought, to some people on fanfiction.net, this is Friday...anyway, because I am a complete and total loser, I am going to re-read Prisoner of Azkaban tonight, and tomorrow, and because I am seeing the movie tomorrow, I knew I was not going to be on tomorrow, because I will either be reading the book or trying to not start drooling at the sight of Tom Felton...so, that brings me here...  
  
This chapter is only three pages long, and chapter four will be like this as well...I wouldn't say that this is a completely pointless filler chapter...because it does help develop the pointless and random plot...anyway....  
  
Dedication: This one is to Liza, because you dared to ask the question, "How could a person fail herbology? Why not potions?"  
  
Disclaimer: If any of you saw the biography of J.K. Rowling on A&E lately, you would note that we look nothing alike. I don't even look like her, so how could I OWN her characters? Oh...but I do own Lily, Dan, Drew, and I sort-of own Bray and Jay, seeing as they are based off of real people, and I own the PLOT!!!!! So, if you even THINK about stealing this plot, I will find a way to sue you!!!!! Notice the many unnecessary expiation points!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
And now, as in the words of some famous (and probably dead) dude, "Let the show begin!"

* * *

Wednesday, October 6th 12:42PM

Sitting by the lake, skiving lunch  
  
Don't ask me why I am skiving off lunch, I just feel like it. Now that you mention it, I haven't felt like eating for a while. James had to force me to eat some lamb yesterday at dinner. And I have been feeling very depressed lately, too.  
  
I don't want to be around people much anymore either, so I have taken to going down to the kitchens, get a coffee, then sit down there, listening to music. I suppose people are starting to think that something is wrong with me, because Sunshine and Happiness cornered me in a charms classroom yesterday, demanding to see my wrists, and do a blood check.  
  
I mean, its nice and all that they care, but I just need some time to myself lately. It's really odd, though, because usually I thrive off of the company of others. I don't know...I have just been in a really crappy mood ever since Sirius and Libby broke up, but I know that their break-up has nothing to do with my mood, but oh well. I have got to go, Professor Sprout wants a word with me.  
  
Lily

* * *

Still October 6th, just much later

Griffindor Common Room, listening to Sum 41, because I feel like it  
  
Professor Sprout wanted to see me, right? So she brought me to her office, and sat down at her desk, and motioned for me to sit down in a lawn chair in front of her desk. I mean, honestly, a lawn chair. Doesn't Dumbledore pay these teachers more?  
  
"Miss Potter," She said, pulling out a red folder labeled: Griffindor, Potter, Lily. "Lily, I hate to tell you this, but you are failing my class. You currently have a 17 percent, which is clearly failing my class. Because of this, I am administering you a tutor."  
  
Ok, honestly, during her whole talk, I was studying my nails, wondering how much longer I could keep them burgundy before Snape would give me a detention. But the minute she said, "Administering you a tutor," I was like, Holy Merlin's Imitation Joe Boxers brand boxers with the flames on them instead of the little yellow bloke that smiles all the time on them. I was getting a tutor in HERBOLOGY?  
  
Lily

* * *

Friday, October 8th, 6:51 PM

Outside Greenhouse Three  
  
Tonight is my first session with my tutor...gads, that sounds sick...Merlin's Imitation Boxer Shorts, the door is opening...help me!  
  
Lily

* * *

October 8th, (still) 11:58 PM

In the common room, attempting to feed my potions homework to Alexander Julian  
  
Birds obviously don't like potions homework, because Alexander Julian just sputtered up potions homework, and flew away, probably to complain to other owls about owl abuse from their owner's sister...anyway, about my herbology tutoring session.  
  
Now, when one is receiving tutoring in herbology, one would be dead board talking about herbology for two hours. That "one" is not I. In fact, when Sprout said that I was getting a tutor, I was thinking someone along the lines of George Davies, who is a total herbology geek, but instead I got somebody else.  
  
I got Dan Malfoy.  
  
The whole time I was completely stupid. Well, not really. Actually, and oddly enough, I was calm, cool, and collected. In fact, I didn't even blush. Usually, when I am alone with him I am like a Griffindor Banner. But today, I wasn't. It was really odd.  
  
Gads, it is midnight, and I should be doing my homework, and not feeding it to James' owl...  
  
Lily

* * *

Saturday, October 16th, 12:26 PM

Great Hall, watching Dan eating his grape yogurt (I didn't even know they had grape yogurt)  
  
Jay stole you again, something about not writing so much, and keeping my grades up, because it was stupid for anyone to need a tutor in herbology. But honestly, who wants to learn about plants? I practically manhandled mum's begonias, or something with an odd name like that, one day just because they needed to be watered, and I couldn't figure where to put the water...  
  
Lily

* * *

Still October 16th, 6:26 PM

Great Hall, again, looking at some gray, soupy stuff  
  
Oh my holy piano chords! Did the house elves go on strike? Did Mr. Malfoy fail at persuading Hermione, his wife, out of spew? What is this gray soupy looking thing in front of me? Because this is not food, I can tell you that much.  
  
Wait, Dumbledore is standing up. He is saying something.  
  
"Our...lovely...meal is the doing of the sixth year muggle studies class. Eat up!" Then he, himself took a spoonful of the gray shit, and ate it.  
  
You can visibly see him choking...and now he is coughing...and now, Professor Flitwick is screaming—actually, it sounds like the wails of a wounded pig—because Dumbledore just toppled down on top of him...now the muggle studies teacher, Professor Mara is giving mouth-to-mouth to Snape because he apparently couldn't handle the sight of Professor Flitwick in pain...I wonder if she likes Snape. I mean, everybody can see the looks she sends the greasy git when she is around him. We're not blind, you know...sorry, random thoughts...anyway...  
  
Oh dear, Madam Hooch just stormed in. She looks, well, livid.  
  
"Why was this gray...crap delivered to my room? What is this gray crap?" I didn't know teachers were allowed to swear! "I said—no—_demanded _that I get broccoli and lamb chowder! Not this junk!" You can see some of the sixth years in tears. "Honestly Dumbledore, I would expect more from the food of all things!" She yelled at the dieing professor. "Well, Albus, get yourself a new quidditch ref! I quit!"  
  
And now she is walking out of the hall. Wait, she just threw the crap at the wall. And it hit a seventh year Slytherin.  
  
The house elves seriously have gone on strike.  
  
And now, pandemonium has erupted, and people are yelling "DUMBLDORE IS DEAD! WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!" Don't these nitwits know that Voldemort was killed like, twenty years ago? And, guess what? It was my very own dad who killed him, too! Honestly, the brilliance of people these days.  
  
I have got to go, somebody knocked over my ink...  
  
Lily  
  
P.S. What has happened to our grand place of learning? It has obviously gone down the loo...

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	4. A Dreamy Night

_The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter  
Chapter Four: A Dreamy Night  
  
_Disclaimer: After consulting with my muses, we have decided to put out an announcement.  
  
We, Red and her many muses, are now admitting that we do not own any characters that you may recognize from the books written by JK Rowling. We only own the original characters, two of which aren't that original...  
  
Dedication: This is to...um...hold on, let me think of somebody...oh, yes, this is to Sarah, and hopefully if you ever get to read this, you read this. I loved what you said about "Locked," and, ya...I'll just give you this chapter...  
  
Now, that was such a bore, But here is chapter four!  
  
Oh.... And check out the link that I say is my homepage, because we have a good discussion about the new movie going on in the Harry Potter section of it...

* * *

Monday, October 18th, 11:42 AM, oh, wait, now it is 11:43 AM 

Sitting in Muggle Studies, ignoring the professor  
  
Why did I ever take muggle studies? Oh, yes, it looked more appealing than a class where some old coot tells you that you will never live past third period...  
  
Anywho...we had imported Spanish bagels for breakfast today. I didn't even know that Spain served bagels...you learn something new everyday. So Dumbledore said that every muggle studies class would be in charge of meals each week. So this week the third year muggle studies class has meals. And next week, our class has it.  
  
"Now class, next week, you will be in charge of all the meals, and next week, we will also be focusing on the American culture, so each of you has a list of popular American foods...pick out a menu for meals for all of next week, starting with Sunday..." She said, and is now currently wrestling with a can of soup. One might wonder what has brought the students doing the food thing. I'll tell you what happened. The house elves revolted.  
  
Yes, my dear friends, the house elves revolted.  
  
They just simply ran up to Dumbledore and began tearing apart Dumbledore's robes, screaming, "We have clothes! Lets get out of here! No more oppression by the old cow! Who's your house elf now?" I know it's not a nice thing to say about Dumbledore, but its true. We saw them running out of the castle. And house elves have some nasty language, too. They swear like Scottish Sailors. Or pissed off Catholic School girls from the Sates, take your pick.  
  
So, anyway, the point is that the food we have been eating for the past two weeks is crap. So, I am going to suggest that we eat pizza all next week.  
  
I have to go, it's time to make suggestions...  
  
Lily

* * *

Friday, October 22nd, 4:54 PM 

Room of Requirement, trying to find my Zen...  
  
Jay just came floating in here, and at first I thought she had too many cups of lime kool-aide...and then she said, "Lily, I just met the most interesting person..."  
  
First off, by best friend just does not come to me, acting like some person on dope. No, Jay is the grounded, centered, intelligent, sane-in- public-places one of us. So, only two things could have happened. Aliens finally did come and abduct her brain, or she, my half-vampire friend, has found her soul mate.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"I just met the most virtuoso person...and his name is Sean."  
  
Yes, dear diary reader, it has been concluded that my best friend has finally found her soul mate.  
  
Lily

* * *

Sunday, October 24th, 8:54 AM 

The Great Hall  
  
The muggle studies teacher must have confused lunch with breakfast, because a large pot of carryout Chinese food, highly popular in America in front of me. Oh well, its lo-mane. Can't complain...  
  
Lily

* * *

Monday, October 25th, 4:56 AM 

Sitting in the Room of Requirement, as Bray stumbles in, sleepily, mind you, and Jay searches out this "Sean" kid.  
  
Ok, my best friend has lost it. She came storming into my room (I have no idea how she got my password, I changed it just last week...) and she ripped off my covers, and started screaming at me.  
  
"Get up! I need you to meet somebody! Up! Up!" Honestly, she can really sound like my mum when she tries... and then she dragged me to this room (honestly, she did drag me!).  
  
And here she is, and some blond, tall bloke is with her...  
  
Lily

* * *

Still Monday, 5:46 AM 

Still in the Room of Requirement  
  
Met Sean. He seems like a nice bloke. He is Celtic, was it, and has the niftiest accent. He really is well built, and is really nice. I can see why Jay would like him. He is a transfer student from the Celtic School of Magic, and really likes it here at Hogwarts. He is the same age as us, but stays in the sixth-year Slytherin dorms because there is no room for him in the seventh year boy's dorms.  
  
So anyway, after we met Jay's "soul mate," I went into my common room because I couldn't sleep. And when I got there, all the boys in my house were in the common room, some asleep, and the rest were doing what ever they felt like.  
  
"Lily!" James screamed. "Lily! Please help us!"  
  
"Okay..."  
  
"Dan is having these nightmares, and I suppose he has been having them for a while, and you know, we usually put a silencing charm around his bed, but tonight he broke the charm."  
  
"So, just re-cast it." Now, I might sound calm, cool, and collected, but inside I was like, 'Dan's having nightmares! Oh dear! He doesn't deserve to have nightmares!' I was like, broken on the inside, knowing that the love of my life has to suffer from evil dreams.  
  
"We did." James said, "And those didn't last. He's gone and woken up the whole house!"  
  
"Did you try to wake him up?"  
  
"Do I look stupid? Yes, I did, everybody tried, and nothing worked. Please Lily, will you just try?"  
  
"Fine." And I walked up to the boy's dorm...  
  
Oh don't look at me like that! It wasn't that bad...okay, so it was...I should stop babbling...oh...I'm still babbling...  
  
Anyway, so, I started my way up to the boy's dorm. I was halfway up the stairs, and I could hear why the boys had such a hard time trying to sleep. Dan was screaming, and it was unbearable. You could tell he was in pain. I hurried up the stairs, and ran into the seventh year's boy dorms.  
  
One word to describe the dorm: A total and complete mess. But lets not dwell on the fact that my brother's boxer shorts fell on top of my head when I walked past James' bed...but, anyway, the point is that Dan was thrashing about his bed, and I sound like some bloody romance novel that mum always hides in my room, and I ran across one time looking for my book called "All American Girl." Right...I'm getting off topic...  
  
Dan was spread out all over his bed, screaming, "No! Don't kill her! Take me instead!" And he started whimpering, like he was in pain and was about to die.  
  
I walked over to him, and sat next to him on his bed. "Dan," I said, "Please, come on, wake up, it's all a dream. You're dreaming. Come on, wake up."  
  
"No...don't kill her!"  
  
"Come on Dan, just wake up..."  
  
"No...don't kill Lily...Lily don't go..."  
  
I was like, wow. He was dreaming about me. Dan Malfoy, like, the hottest bloke in the school, was dreaming about me. Me, Lily Audrey Potter, the only girl in our whole year who has three brothers in the same year as her, two of who are like, major players, and the other is the smartest Goth in the school, and I have no idea who I am. Why would anyone want to dream about me, especially Dan Malfoy?  
  
"No, Lily...no...don't kill her...no, take me...don't kill Lily..."  
  
I fell off the bed then.  
  
"No...Lily! Don't die! Lily! I need you...Lily, I love you..."  
  
Seriously...I like, died at that moment...  
  
"Lily...no..."  
  
I somehow found my voice and my legs too...  
  
"Dan...I'm here...I'm not...gone..."  
  
"Lily..."  
  
"Dan—Please...come on...wake up...I'm right here, come on...I'm not gone...yet."  
  
Dan finally woke up, after all that...heart...breaking...action. "Lils?"  
  
"Dan...you woke up..."  
  
"Lily, what's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing..."  
  
"Lily..."  
  
"Dan you were...dreaming...and the boys put a silencing charm on you, but you broke that...they sent me up here to try to wake you up...and..."  
  
"Oh Merlin...Lily...oh...Lily...can you just...get out?"  
  
"Dan..."  
  
"Lily...Please, just...go."  
  
"But—"  
  
"Lily, I said, go."  
  
"Dan, please—"  
  
"No. Go, now Lily."  
  
"Fine Dan. I'll go." And I just left. I left him there, in his bed, just, I don't know...he just...I don't know. He, I don't know...I honestly don't know. I mean, he was dreaming about me and...but...I don't know what to think. I mean, I am like, in love with him, and all, but...I have no idea what I feel about this. I am like, so confused.  
  
I don't know what to think any more. Like, everyone has a goal in life...and I was talking to Professor Dumbledore today about continuing my education in magic, and he was like, well, what do you want to do with your life, and I was like, I don't know...  
  
I mean, who does not have any goals in their life? Well, obviously me. Hey, Dad's owl just landed on my inkwell. And now, instead of being white, the bird is black. Oh, it's Mum...I'll just write down what she said...  
  
_**Lily,  
  
Your father and I would like it if you would join us for Christmas this year. Hermione and Draco are coming over this year, so you will not be "surrounded by complete and utter idiots that are your cousins" this year. So, please, owl me back, and ask your brothers and the Malfoy Twins if they are coming home.  
  
Mum  
**_  
Notice how she never says 'Love Mum.' It's always 'Mum.'  
  
Lily  
  
Authoress Note: Yes, that was short. But the next chapter is nine pages long! So, anyway, I hoped you liked this, and please, REVIEW! It would mean the world to me. It's always nice to see e-mails other than story updates from fictionalley.org...anyway, please review, I am trying to reach my goal of fifty again, and I would like to reach that by the ninth chapter. And I will personally thank each of you who reviewed if I get to fifty. I normally never do that, and I really don't like it when authors do it, because then it makes me think that the story is longer than it really is...so, I really have nothing to say.  
  
The new movie was awesome. The dudes looked really hot this time. I was like, when did everybody get hot?  
  
PLEASE review.  
  
Admit it, that button is looking pretty friendly.  
  
Come on, its not that hard. I don't care if the review is only two words.  
  
Oh, and if you are going to flame, please do so anonymously. Thank you.  
  
Red


	5. The Attack of the Sporks

_ The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter  
Chapter Five: The Attack of the Sporks  
_  
Authoress Note: If I were you, dear readers, I would feel very lucky that you have this chapter, because I feel like absolute shit, I cannot talk, and I can't eat either. The only reason I am posting this is because there is nothing on TV, and I don't think that I can stay awake long enough to read anything without fall asleep. Anyhow, here is the long plot chapter you all have been waiting for.  
  
Disclaimer: I honestly don't think JK Rowling would put herself through the pain of having her tonsils taken out. Even watching people move around in music videos makes me want to cry.  
  
Dedication: To my two lovely "critics." Who I could go on forever about, but I can't, seeing as I want to get this posted, and go back to sleep...  
  
I am also terribly sorry about any grammatical errors, I can't go through and fix them all, and I tried reading today and almost fell asleep, and the chapter wasn't that long, so I don't think I will read all nine pages today...

* * *

Tuesday October 23rd, 7:56 AM 

Great Hall, staring in wonder of somebody's brilliance  
  
Somebody charmed Snape's hair bubble gum pink...  
  
Anyway, on to more pressing matters. After mum's owl I left the Room of Requirement, and went up to the common room. This time, everybody was in bed, except one person...Dan.  
  
He was sitting on the chair in front of the fire, staring into the fire, not noticing that I had walked in. He was sitting there, just staring into the fire, looking like some deadly secret had been let out. And in a way, something had.  
  
"Dan?" I asked quietly.  
  
"Lily..."  
  
"Dan, are you okay?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Dan, I might not be a shrink or whatever, but I know that—"  
  
"Lily! We had this conversation before! Just leave me alone! I don't want to talk about it, okay? Can you just—can you just...go?"  
  
"Fine, I'll go." And I stomped off to my room. And I realized that I had for the second time in one day, walked away from Dan Malfoy. And he isn't at breakfast...something is wrong. But I don't want another fight with him, so I'll just leave him to his own devices, and see if he shows up later in the day...  
  
Lily

* * *

Still Tuesday, 6:58 PM 

The Great Hall...I used to be eating lime jello...  
  
Dan never showed up. Seriously, he never came to class. And the whole time, I was freaking out. I mean, could one itty bitty dream do this to somebody? But then again, nobody but Dan knows what the dream was about. I don't even think that Drew knows what the dream was about...no, because if he did, he would be with Dan, not sucking jello through his nose...  
  
Lily

* * *

Wednesday, October 24th, 11:58 

Is History of Magic that helpful?  
  
Okay, two days, and no word from Dan. Some people are now saying that he is locked in the Hospital Wing with some deadly illness, that if anyone in the school comes in contact with the sickness, we will all die. Right...  
  
No, but I am really worried, because there was a girl a few years back, who did this same thing, and then jumped off the Astronomy Tower. Luckily, she did not die in the jump, but did die in St. Mungo's six hours later.  
  
So, I have reason to worry. My whole life has been full of people who say they love me, then do small things that make them seem like they care about me, but then, they go, and the big things they do for me are bad, and make me think that they don't care.  
  
I have to talk to Drew about Christmas; Hedwig started attacking me last night when she came, because mum wanted an answer...  
  
Lily

* * *

Still Wednesday, October 24th, 11:56 PM 

Oh my Lord...  
  
I just got a ransom note...from house elves...for Dan.  
  
This is what it said:  
  
You, Red Haired Girlie,  
  
House elves wishes that you, Red Haired Girlie, get Dumbledore, that stupid bearded pig, to give us ultimate freedom! And house elves will return the Blondie Boy Who Screams Lily.  
  
House Elves  
  
Oh my Lord. The house elves have Dan. Holy cow shit. This is not good. I could never see him again! Oh, gads, I am crying now...I have to go to Dumbledore, he has to know about this! What did Dan do to house elves? Nothing I tell you! Nothing! He fully supports his mum's House Elf Liberation Group!  
  
This is not good, not good at all. I have to get Drew, too! And Remus, he has become very with drawn ever since Dan has been missing...only now, I know where he is...at least...I know who has him, not his exact location...  
  
What am I doing, writing? Jay was right, I am writing too much. How is a diary going to help me save Dan?  
  
Lily

* * *

Ten minutes later 

Dumbledore's Office  
  
I am terribly sorry if my writing is smudged with tears, but really, when house elves are holding the one you love hostage, you tend to cry too. The Malfoys are flooing over, and so is my dad, but I don't know why.  
  
Drew is just sitting over in a corner, staring into space, and Bray is next to him, drawing something, while whispering something to him...I don't want to know what she is whispering...I could harm my mind...  
  
Anyway, about five minutes ago, another owl came, with another note from the house elves. And they don't sound too happy. This is what it said:  
  
You Smelly Old Bearded One,  
  
House Elves have young Misters Malfoy. Young Misters Malfoy wishes that a girlie named "Lily" be sent to Misters Malfoy. We House Elves do not want to permit this. You, Smelly Arses Faces, give us ultimate freedoms, and House Elves shall release Young Misters Malfoy.  
  
House Elves  
  
I have one thing to say, these house elves have no concept of the tenses in writing. Maybe, instead of freedom, Dumbledore should give them grammar lessons.  
  
God, I just wish I knew where Dan was. I am worried. He was really all, upset about that night—and oh shit. I just remembered something. Dan "professed" his love to me in his dream. Oh my God.  
  
Where the hell are the search parties? I want to tell Dan that I love him too! I mean, I just, I didn't really have a reaction to what he said when he was dreaming then.  
  
Lily

* * *

Ten seconds later 

Where do you think I am?  
  
Isn't it interesting how we don't realize things until they are gone, and we might never get a chance to say anything to them again? I mean, the house elves can't be too big of a threat; they are house elves! But you never know, they could try to kill him with forks...God, why did I write that, now I am crying harder...I am such an idiot...and Dan is not here to hug me, and say that everything will turn out okay...  
  
I am so tired, but I cannot sleep. I am too worried to sleep. Bray is holding Drew now and stroking his hair...Drew is so lucky that he has somebody like her...Jay is off with her Celtic friend again, probably snogging in some unknown closet...  
  
Lily

* * *

Thursday, October 25th, 5:56 AM 

Still in Dumbledore's Office  
  
Dad and the Malfoy's finally showed up. Right before they came, though, Drew and Bray left, saying that they needed some "alone time." The closets in Hogwarts are going to get some good usage this morning.  
  
Anyway, so when the Malfoy's arrived, Hermione, Draco's wife, broke down in tears. So, she was hysterical, and then I started crying, and then Dad came in. Then, Dad started asking me why I was crying, and I told him that that it was my entire fault that Dan is now being held hostage by house elves, because I wouldn't lave him alone, and then, in due time, I confessed what happened when I went up to the boy's dorms that night.  
  
Draco stood up after the end of my confessions, and went up to Dad and said, "So, my son is in love with your daughter."  
  
"Yup." Dad said.  
  
"How long do you think it will take for them to act on their feelings?"  
  
"Good question. If they are anything like we were when all of us were here, then I'll say graduation."  
  
"Christmas Holidays, they kiss on New Years Eve, and he proposes on Graduation."  
  
"Deal."  
  
My dad and Draco, in a time of distress, were betting on when their kids were going to "act on their feelings." I feel sick now...  
  
Anyway, and then Draco said, "Well, Potter, we might as well get to know each other better, seeing as we might be related in a few years."  
  
And I was like, how can they be thinking about what might happen now? I mean, we don't even know if Dan will live. I mean, forget forks, the house elves might use knives against Dan! Does that sound reassuring to you? No, I didn't think so. I don't even know if I will ever see Dan again, and our dad's are taking bets on what could happen? Does this sound screwed up to anybody else?  
  
Lily

* * *

Still Thursday, 11:52 AM 

Still in Dumbledore's Office  
  
I haven't left Dumbledore's Office for a while, have I? Anyway, something big had happened.  
  
Lucius Malfoy is now after his only son, Draco, and his family. Seriously.  
  
I should start from the beginning, shouldn't I?  
  
Okay, so, when Dad defeated Voldemort, the last few remaining Death Eaters ran for it. Eventually, most of them had been caught, and the ones still left at large were not considered much of a threat. So, they were left alone, and if an unexplained murder came up, or something, the aurors would look into those remaining free Death Eaters. Everything was really quiet on the Death Eater front, so it was put on a back burner, so to speak, at the ministry. And then, this happened. A black owl flew in about ten minutes ago, carrying a howler.  
  
It was for Draco, and he took it. But he didn't open it.  
  
"Lily," Dad said, "Go outside for a while. You have been here for a long time, go get some fresh air."  
  
"I wouldn't bother sending her out; all of Hogwarts will here this howler." Hermione had said, speaking for the first time.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"The howler is from Lucius." And then, Draco opened it. The howler went like this:  
  
"_HOW COULD YOU? MARRY A MUDBLOOD! YOU STUPID BOY! LOOK WHAT I HAVE DONE FOR YOU, I MADE YOU THE SOLE HAIR TO MY WHOLE FOURTUNE, I GAVE YOU A STRONG LIFE THAT WOULD GIVE YOU A POWERFUL SPOT IN THE MINISTERY, AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME? BY MARRYING A MUDBLOOD, BETRAYING THE MALFOY NAME AND NOT ONE OF YOUR BLOODY SONS MADE SLYTHERIN! WHAT KIND OF PURE BLOOD ARE YOU? YOUR SONS HAVE TAINTED BLOOD, AND WHEN THE DRAK LORD RISES AGAIN, THE MALFOY NAME WILL NO LONGER BE A NAME OF RESPECT! THE SOLE HAIR TO YOUR FOURTUNE HAS BEEN TAKEN BY THE HOUSE ELVES, YOU BLOODY DISGRACE. THE HOUSE ELVES ARE HANDING HIM OVER TO ME, AND I WILL KILL HIM! THAT WILL TEACH YOU TO DISGRACE MY NAME!"_  
  
Then, the howler burned into a thousand pieces. And the first thing Draco did was throw a chair at the wall.  
  
"Draco!" Hermione screamed.  
  
"Damn it, Hermione!" Draco screamed. "He is going to get Dan! God, Hermione! What if he went after Drew, too? And what would we do if he went after Inyx and Kadia? Then what would we do? Do you even know what the bloody man can do? He is abusive, Hermione! He will kill Dan if he gets the chance. God Hermione, I don't want to lose my son!" And then Draco just sat down, with his face in his hands, tears streaming down his face.  
  
And I am crying again. I know I shouldn't, but still. I mean, I care too much about him, and then to find out that he does return my feelings, and then, he is kidnapped by house elves, and soon might be given to his crazy grandfather, I can't help but be worried.  
  
I suppose that the thing that I am most worried about is that Dan won't come out alive. That Malfoy (the evil one) will kill his own grandson, and I'll never get to tell Dan how I feel about him, and then I will die wallowing in my own misery. God, what am I talking about? Nobody in history has ever died wallowing in their own misery. I am insane. Or, it could be the fact that I am too worried. I am going to get premature ulcers.  
  
I need to get some sleep...or food...that would be good.  
  
Lily

* * *

Two minutes later 

I am of course in Dumbledore's Office  
  
I just thought of something. Lucius, in his howler, said something about the Dark Lord rising again. But didn't Dad like, kill Voldie-Moldie? What d he mean? Is he trying to resurrect Voldemort? Because, like, I don't even want to think about that. Dad just chucked a pillow at me, and is yelling at me that I am too much like my mum, because she is obsessed with writing, too. Dad wants me to stop writing, and sleep.  
  
Random question: How does Snape get his hair so greasy? Maybe he uses a new shampoo...  
  
Lily

* * *

Saturday, October 27th, 11:46 AM 

In Dumbledore's Office  
  
It has been two days since I last wrote, and we still don't have Dan back.  
  
Drew came up here, and talked to his parents. Bray walked him up, but then left, saying something about stealing Jay's potions homework.  
  
I left for a while until Snape showed up, and told me that I was needed in Dumbledore's office. Dad was leaving, and he had already said goodbye to the boys, so I said goodbye, and he left.  
  
Then I left Dumbledore's Office, and went in search of my brothers. But while I was thinking about them, I thought about my relationship with my brothers. They are like the only people in this world I do not get pissed off at. This is the list I established about my relationship with my brothers:  
  
James—well, there is not a lot to say about him, because we don't really talk. We are too different. People seem to think that because of our names, we would be like two peas in a pod. But, that is never going to happen. James is the Jock, and I am the Punk Rocker, we are too different to have much in common besides blood. I love him dearly, but we just don't have a lot in common.  
  
Sirius—he is one of those highly random people, who you never know what they are going to do. One day, he was laughing his head off, the next crying in a corner. See? Random. And I like for that. He is so spontaneous and out there, that it is fun. But he tells it like it is, and that makes him serious. And then there was that whole girlfriend fiasco. I still think that she was way out of line. I mean, the day after she broke up with him, she went up to Sirius, socked him in the face, and called him a bitch for dumping her, and I was like, didn't she dump him?  
  
Remus—my favorite brother out of the bunch. He is smart, a Punk Rocker, Head Boy, and likes to piss mum off, too. He is the only brother who would out everything aside if I was unhappy, and find the reason for my unhappiness. Remus is always sensible, and knows what he is talking about. And now, my brother is not talking.  
  
Seriously, ever since Dan was kidnapped, he has hidden in the Head Dorms, saying he has a cold, and missed all of his classes. But in truth, not having his best friend around is killing him. So, James and Sirius have holed themselves up in his room too, to "comfort him in his time of need." Which means they are probably watching Hannibal on Remus' charmed computer.  
  
I walked into the Head's Common Room, and sure enough, all of my brothers were huddled around the computer, watching Hannibal.  
  
They were at the part where Hannibal says "Hello Clarice." And then James started laughing his head off, while Sirius and Remus were actually watching the movie, not making jokes about it.  
  
I have to go watch this too...  
  
Lily

* * *

Six minutes later... 

Head's Dorms, watching Hannibal  
  
Just thought of something...I made that list, because you never realize how you feel about people until they are gone...I suppose I did that, so I know how I feel about each of my brothers before anyone of them leave me...  
  
Lily

* * *

Sunday, October 28th, 4:58 PM 

Dumbledore's Office (I should just move in here)  
  
Okay, so this is what happened:  
  
Lucius Malfoy flooed to Hogwarts, gave us Dan, and let himself be arrested. Then, Dan came up, confessed his undying love for me, and then we snogged for an hour. Yes, that is what happened.  
  
No, not really.  
  
What really happened was we were at the part in Hannibal where Hannibal cuts the one bloke's head open, when Snape suddenly went flying in, saying that Dumbledore requested us immediately. We went to Dumbledore's office, and we got some news. The house elves, I suppose, do not give up hostages that easily, because on Dumbledore's desk, there was a letter saying:  
  
HELP! THEY HAVE SPORKS!  
  
So, we are assuming that Lucius sent that letter, because Dan should be a good hostage, he is usually a very passive person. But he should come out okay.  
  
"Well," Draco had said, "At least he is safe from Lucius. Now, we just have to save him from the house elves." And then Hermione erupted into tears again. I started wondering if she was pregnant again, because the last time I have ever seen somebody cry this much was when Fred told Angelina, his wife, that she was wonderfully large when she was pregnant with their twins. That was a noisy night, since I was sent up to comfort her, even though I am horrible at comforting people, and I, myself, have never been pregnant, and don't want to, and therefore have not experienced out of control hormones.  
  
Moving on...  
  
So Dumbledore started talking to professors, arraigning what sounded like search parties. But then again, they could be searching for some chocolate chip cookies because of the cruddy quality of Russian food that the second years have been providing us. Caviar is really disgusting for breakfast. And still, I a getting off the point that the man I love is possibly being attacked by house elves wielding dangerous sporks.  
  
Okay, now I feel bad, because I was talking about crappy food, when the man who has captivated my heart is possibly being threatened with death by spork. DOES ANYBODY CARE ABOUT THE INJUSICE IN THIS WORLD! INNOCENT PEOPLE ARE BEING THREATENED WITH SPOONS THAT ARE NOT SPOONS, BUT A VERIATION OF A FORK, OR SPORK!  
  
The world is so unfair.  
  
Lily

Please review...it might make me recover quicker....


	6. Misconceptions

_ The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter  
Chapter Six: Misconceptions_

Authoress Note: I really don't have anything to say....hmm....this is interesting...

Disclaimer: JK Rowling herself said that the Harry Potter books are about Harry, why would she write about other witches and wizards?

Dedication: To all my reviewers! Because you made my day brighter, and I love reading what you have to say. We should form and I Hate Hillary Duff Club with all of you who say that you hate her too. Even Avril hates her! (I read that in a magazine at my doctors office while I was waiting for my doom.)

* * *

Monday, October 29th, 11:42 AM 

Potions, looking at a grease-stained chalk board  
  
Dumbledore made us come to class today...I don't know why, because all I can think about is Dan. I mean that is ALL I can think about. By the looks of my books, I just might as well be some love-crazed third year, because I have Dan Malfoy written all over my potions book. Seriously, if he wasn't being threatened by house elves at this moment, I don't know how I could refrain myself from ravishing him on the spot.  
  
Oh dear lord, listen to me now. I sound insane. Jay would kill me if she knew what I was writing. She would, I know she would. She better not see me writing, because the last time I was in class, writing, and she was in the class, she walked over to me, and took you, my dear diary, and tried to chuck you into the lake. I know she means well, but people are always going on about how keeping things bottled up is never good, and this diary is my way to not keep my feelings bottled up.  
  
I WANT DAN BACK NOW! PLEASE, THE BLOKE WHO CONTROLS OUR LIVES, BRING DAN BACK TO ME! I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!  
  
See, I don't keep stuff bottled up. Although some might find this slightly disturbing—I don't see how—a diary can be extremely useful.  
  
Oh, potions homework:  
  
5-foot essay (what is it with these teachers and using the American system of measuring? What happened to the metric system?), on the effects of bat blood on truth potions...  
  
This sounds like loads of fun. Really, it does.  
  
Can you read the sarcastic-ness in what I am writing, Diary? Oh dear Lord, help me. I am asking a DIARY questions about what I meant. I really do have problems.  
  
No news on the Dan front, as of yet. Dumbledore thinks that the house elves plan to return him soon, seeing as it is unusually quiet with house elf action...  
  
Lily

* * *

Still Monday, 12:56 PM 

Sitting on a piano in the Room of Requirement  
  
Can some one explain to me why Hogwarts has had a mass blizzard in OCTOBER of all months? Perhaps I can explain this for you. IT WAS THE BLOODY HOUSE ELVES!  
  
Seriously, it was.  
  
Somehow, the house elves figured out how to change the weather, so nobody except them can change it. Seriously, Dumbledore went out, and tried to change the weather back to the cloudy, breezy, 50 degrees it had been. Now, it is twenty below, because Dumbledore's spell, instead of changing the weather, made it worse. So all classes have been canceled. Which is good, because it was double Herbology, and since Dan has been held captive by house elves, I have had some sixth year that is a super genius miss History of Magic to help me through the class.  
  
So, I went to the Room of Requirement, and wished for a piano, and began pounding on the piano. No, I didn't pound on the piano exactly; I played Pachelbel's "Canon in D," and made myself cry. I have no idea why I would be playing that, but the evil piano teacher that mum hired for me when I was six made me memorize it, because I had "potential." Anyway, the fact was that I was crying really hard after I played it, and just sat there at the piano, crying really hard.  
  
I just couldn't stand it anymore, I suppose. Everyone says that your seventh year should be your best, and you have no worries. But everything has gone wrong.  
  
Mum goes off on me like, every week, even if I am at school, and then, Dan, who I am like, obsessed with, gets kidnapped by HOUSE ELVES of all things, and then his grandfather, who is insane, tried to kill him. Does that sound like fun to you? I didn't think so. Life is just screwed up. But I am not giving up. Nope, because everything happens for a reason, and I believe that everything will turn out okay. So I make this promise:  
  
I will not do anything stupid or harmful if I can't take what life throws at me anymore.  
  
There, now, I have to get to the library, I am supposed to be researching that potions homework...  
  
Lily

* * *

Same day, I don't care about the time... 

Why do I even write this?  
  
God, I got called a Gothic Slut today. I was on my way to the library, when Libby, Sirius' Ex walked up to me, and pushed me into a wall.  
  
"Like, watch where you are, like, going!" She said with a really nasally voice, sounding like a constipated valley girl from the States. "Like, You Gothic Slut." And then she walked off.  
  
I am so pissed. First off, I am NOT a Goth, even if they can be the nicest people you meet, and second, I could NEVER be a SLUT! I am seventeen, and still a VIRGIN, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! I also know for a fact I do not dress like a slut. The only slightly skimpy thing I own is my SCHOOL SKIRT! Oh yes, I am a huge Gothic Slut.  
  
I hate Libby. As soon as Dan is safely returned, and the whole house elf fiasco is over, I am attacking her.  
  
Lily

* * *

Still Monday, 6:06 PM 

The Great Hall, moaning with everybody else  
  
I know what you are thinking, and no, we are not participating in an orgy, so get your mind out of the gutter. No, actually, Dumbledore has decided that to further be aware of our "cultural surroundings" we need to participate in American Holidays. Which means, that this year, my dear diary, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry will be participating in the American Holiday of "Thanksgiving."  
  
The announcement went like this:  
  
Dumbledore: Youth of Hogwarts! Your attention please!  
  
Snape: (Muttering, but you could still hear him, even though Dumbledore pretended not to) Youth my right sock...  
  
Dumbledore: Right, as you all know, customs that are common amongst the magical children in the United States are becoming very common in our own school.  
  
Binns: (wishfully, but loudly) I wish I could eat...  
  
Dumbledore: So, to unite our two magical communities, Hogwarts will be celebrating a very important American holiday—  
  
Nearly—Headless Nick: (Woefully, as if in pain) I feel your pain Albion. My birthday party will be horrible, as I cannot taste the food...  
  
Dumbledore: (Sounding overly excited) Thanksgiving!  
  
I swear one of the first-year transfer students from American flat out fainted, and her friend screamed,  
  
"I thought I was rid of that cursed Holiday!" And fell down next to her friend, and began pouring pumpkin juice on her.  
  
Dumbledore: (Obviously trying to ignore the distressed first years) And, as is traditional in America, all of you will be spending the day with your family—  
  
I swear some of the Slytherins with the families that hate them fell over at this point.  
  
Dumbledore: (Still ignoring the commotion) And, you will eat turkey—as is traditional in America—be thankful for what you have, and eat dinner with your families.

A vegitarian started screaming, "I don't eat meat!"

All I cared about was that we get to leave school for a day.  
  
Dumbledore: I am sure that going home and participating in all of this at your homes would be a tad difficult, so, I have decided that your families will come to Hogwarts, even Muggle parents, and celebrate Thanksgiving here. You will also be watching the Muggle sport, Soccer, or as it is known in America, Football. That is all; you may eat.  
  
I swear Dumbledore is insane. As soon as he finished talking, some people started CRYING because of what their families out say.  
  
"But my WHOLE family is pure-blood! Father would never show up!" I heard Adrian Zabini saying to some of his friends, and had like, six girls hanging off of him, nodding in agreement, while sucking on his neck giving him like, twenty hickies. Well, he is wearing a turtleneck tomorrow, if he doesn't want Snape-who hates public, or any display of affection, even from his own house, talked about or displayed at school-to give him detention for a month.  
  
Sirius is yelling at me to help plot a way to avoid having out parents come for Thanksgiving, because we all know that Mum would be inspecting dorms, and I—kind of—painted mine red...and put band posters all over the walls, and died my sheets and bead spread black...  
  
Lily  
  
Ten minutes later Same place  
  
How can Dumbledore be thinking about THANKSGIVING when one of his STUDENTS is being held hostage by house elves? I really do think he had lost it. Really, Dumbledore should talk to someone, like, a shrink, about how he can worry about a holiday that ENGLISH PEOPLE DON'T EVEN CELEBRATE WHEN ONE OF HIS STUDENTS COULD BE IN MORTAL PERIL!  
  
Oh god, now I am hyperventilating. Okay, breathe in...breathe out. Breathe in...breathe out...I should do that for a while...okay, I feel better now.

Lily

* * *

Tuesday, October 30th, 5:55 PM 

Great Hall, staring at the fish  
  
The snowstorm went away today. We had to go down to potions though, and it was FREEZING!!!  
  
Lily

* * *

Oh, wow  
  
Seriously, wow  
  
First years cannot cook. There was eggshell in the fish. You don't even use eggs to make fish!  
  
Anyway, the point is, is that Cassandra Bloom (no relation to Orlando Bloom, or so she says), who is a second year, was eating some fish, and started choking. Like, just randomly choking out of the blue. Dumbledore stood up, and said,  
  
"Oh my," and Cassandra's best friend tried to 'accio' the eggshell to her, only she was standing behind Cassandra, and the eggshell only went further into her throat. Then, Snape, with his cloaks billowing and all, came over, and started yelling at people to move away, and put his arms around Cassandra.  
  
I was like HOLY MERLINS IMMMITAION JOE BOXER BRAND BOXER SHORTS WITH THE FLAMES INSTEAD OF THE SMILING BLOKE! WHAT THE HELL WAS HE DOING?  
  
And then, Snape did the Heimlich maneuver, and saved Cassandra from uncertain death by eggshell.  
  
This, I believe, is a prime example of what supposedly "great institutes of learning," have fallen to. It's sad, I know.  
  
Dumbledore is running out of the hall, screaming something about Dan...Oh, wait, THE HOUSE ELVES ARE—TURNING—DAN—OVER TO...US!  
  
Lily

* * *

You are all pretty board now that this is over...so I have an idea! Why don't you review!

You know, it does take up time.

And it gives you something to do...

And you can tell your mum, who might be yelling at you to get off and clean or go to bed because you have somewhere to go in the morning, and you are not sleeping in until 11:30 like you did this morning, that you are doing something that will change some poor kid in America's day, because she got a note in her in-box saying that what she risks getting in trouble for not going to bed like, twenty minutes ago, is actually worth reading, and she should continue, even though she has the next four chapters already written, and then ending planned out!

Please review.

Thankyou for pressing the purple button. Enjoy your day (or night.)


	7. All By Myself

_The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter  
Chapter Seven: All By Myself  
  
_  
Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own Harry Potter. But I do own all of the Original Characters, and the plot. Yes, it is shocking. The plot bunny is mine! I fed it, and took care of it, and named it.  
  
Dedication: I really don't have a person to dedicate this chapter to...

* * *

Still Tuesday, 8:08 Pm 

Dumbledore's Office, biting my nails off

Play "Mission: Impossible" music now.  
  
The house elves are making a bargain: Dan for clean living and working environments, as well as a proper education. Yes, I know, there has to be a catch. Well, there is a catch, a very big one at that. See, I have to be the one to venture down to the entrance of school and get Dan, and bring the contract that Dumbledore and that house elves are to sign. Dumbledore has already drawn up, and signed a contract, and it is up to me to carry out the rest of the mission.  
  
Cut "Mission: Impossible" theme, and play some sad piano music. Like the Beatles song that Dan and I learned...I'm crying now...  
  
Really, I don't want to do this. I am all for rescuing Dan from the house elves, but I don't want to do it. I really don't. If I were my father, I would probably jump right in, take that contract, save Dan, and even line the elves up in alphabetical order, in a straight line, according to age. I could never do that. I have never mastered alphabetical order.  
  
See, in Primary School, they almost held me back, because I was writing stories with the words they had given us, instead of putting the words in alphabetical order. It was when I wrote a story about Mary, and her little lamb, and what would happen if a giant goat tried to eat the lamb, and Mary started swatting at the goat with the braids, when my teachers read that story, they decided to bring my parents in, and they suggested that when I reached the age of seven, that I be put in writing classes. And I am seriously getting off track.  
  
Anyway, I have to go save Dan, and I don't think I can. I haven't done anything spectacular and amazing that would earn me a Special Services Award to the school like Snape got five minutes ago, from saving Cassandra from the eggshell. I have gotten enough detentions to rival my uncles, (all of them combined) and have had every teacher, even Dumbledore call me a delinquent. Granted, Dumbledore said I was "An intelligent delinquent who is capable of many great and truly magnificent things if she only put her mind to it," but he still called me a delinquent!  
  
And I DID NOT inherit the "saving-people complex" that my dad has; I don't think any of us did.  
  
Dumbledore is almost ready to send me on my way. I don't want to go, but I know I really don't have a choice. Its either I go, or nobody goes. Not even the aurors are coming with me. It's just me, by myself. Nobody is coming with me. I wonder if this is what mum meant by giving me more space?  
  
You know, all of these parents always talk about how their kids do something that proves to their kids that they are worth something, and can do something without their parents with them. I wonder if this is what I am doing in life that will prove to me, as a person that I can do something without other people helping me.  
  
I am really scared about this. Nobody is going to help me, and it's scaring me, because all through my life, I have had people helping me every step of the way, and now, I have nobody. I will be truly alone in this. And right now, the world just seems huge. I don't want to do this...but I have to...I know I have to. Dad was by himself at age one, and Mum at eleven. Me? I am doing my big thing at age seventeen. I hope I come out of this alive, both me and Dan...  
  
I have to go, Dumbledore is ready for me. If I never write again, you know what happened...

Lily

* * *

End Notes: Honestly people, I don't mean to be picky or anything, but I got TWO REVIEWS for the last chapter. I mean, I am very happy I have gotten 32 reviews and all, but really, two reviews. TWO REVIEWS?!?!?!?!?!? WHAT IS UP WITH THAT? I will only post the next chapter if I get FOUR reviews. FOUR.  
  
And honestly, I have up to chapter twelve written, and am working on thirteen. But you will NEVER read those chapters unless you steal the heavily guarded disk that holds this whole story, or REVIEW!!!!!!!!!! And reviewing is much easier. Much.  
  
I don't mean to be nit-picky, but I was a little upset about that. And my friend, who I was e-mailing chapter twelve to can attest, I was VERY impatient for her to read that chapter.  
  
And we really should form an "I Hate Hillary Duff Club." It would be very time efficient, and we can protest her music, which sounds like a dieing cow. Trust me, my sisters blast it ALL THE TIME! That, and ATeens. It's horrible...shudder  
  
Anyway, PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	8. A Sadistic Plot

_ The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter  
Chapter Eight: A Sadistic Plot  
_  
Authoress Note: There is slight OOC-ness coming up...this chapter also implies the PG-13 rating...greatly...Okay, so the rating of this chapter was a debate between me and another person. I will put this chapter—JUST THIS CHAPTER—as borderline PG-13—R. I am noting going to change the rating of this chapter just because of one chapter. I am warning you now. And oh, nobody is having sex in this chapter, just to let you know.

Dedication: To those six people who reviewed. I love that you did that for me.

Disclaimer: Nope, so don't sue.

* * *

November 4th, 9:56 AM 

The Hospital Wing  
  
I have no idea why I am here...somebody must know...I think I just passed out again...I have been doing that a lot. Is Dan in a coma? Because with what we went through, and oh...I have apparently just woken up from saving Dan—according to Madam What's-her-name-over-there for the fifteenth time—from...God; it wasn't even house elves!  
  
The house elves were not even the one's holding Dan as their hostage. It was Lucius Malfoy. The house elves were just sitting around, eating mutton right off of the bone, complaining that they wanted more "KFC" from America, and they were belching loudly, while Dan was sitting on the ground, attached to a log, gagged, dirty, cold, his robes ripped, thirsty, and hungry. It was when I saw this that I knew that the treaty would do no good. The house elves would not trade this for anything.  
  
There was a giant, golden tent in the middle of the house elves squalor that would not have looked out of place at a posh hotel. It was terrifying to see such grandeur in such...dirtiness. Suddenly, the doors of the tent opened, and a silvery-blonde haired man walked out. All the house elves stopped what they were doing and bowed down on their knees to this man, like they were brain washed, and thought her was their god, or something like that. Then I saw the man that the house elves were bowing down to. It was Lucius Malfoy. And I swear Draco looks just like him. He walked over to me, and began to talk to me. Our conversation went like this:  
  
Lucius: (With a large billow of his cloak) Ah, Miss Potter. You have come to reclaim Daniel?  
  
Me: Um...err...yes, I have.  
  
Lucius: (Clapping his hands) Fabulous! Now, if you would just sit down over there, while I gag you—  
  
Me: What?  
  
Lucius: Yes, a trade for a trade. You brought the house elves freedom, I return Dan. I said nothing about what would happen to you, sniveling girl.  
  
Me: Hey! I do not snivel! I—  
  
Lucius: I do not care. Stupid Dumbledore was too vain to realize that in his bargain he forgot to mention what would happen to you...shame really, why, with what Daniel has said, you seem to be made by Michelangelo himself. And what a fine piece of art, you are... (Walks around me in a circle)  
  
Me: You pervert! Get away from me!  
  
Lucius: Ah...it is a shame you must be disposed of...but not before I have had my fun... (He walks up to me, and grabs me, throwing me over to where Dan was tied up at. He then thrusts me on the ground, and cackles)  
  
Me: What are you do—  
  
Dan: (He has somehow managed to lose the fabric gagging him) NO! LEAVE HER ALONE, YOU SICK BASTERD!  
  
Lucius: Daniel, Daniel, Daniel, you naïve child, you should know what happens when you tell me about such a fine woman.  
  
Dan: LEAVE HER ALONE!  
  
Lucius: No. I have not done this in seventeen years. After you were born, I knew your father would do anything to protect you.  
  
Me: What are you going to do?  
  
Dan: Lily...please...please, just...don't...die.  
  
Me: Dan—  
  
Lucius: Shut up you stupid bitch! I will bind you if I have to! I will have my way with you, no matter what anyone says.  
  
Then it dawned on me. Lucius was going to rape me. And there was nothing anybody could do.  
  
Me: NO!  
  
Dan: Stay away from her, you basterd! Leave her alone! No!  
  
Lucius: Fine, ruin my fun. I suppose I will have to kill her.  
  
Me: NO!  
  
Dan: NO! NOT LILY! DON'T KILL HER! KILL ME! KILL ME INSTEAD! JUST DON'T HURT LILY! PLEASE!  
  
Lucius: Shut up! I will do what I want with your precious love! And you will have no say in it, you mother—  
  
Dan: LILY! I LOVE YOU!  
  
I seriously went into a daze then. Lucius could rape me then, I wouldn't care. Dan had said those three words that made everything worth it.  
  
Dan: LILY! PLEASE...DON'T LET HIM DO ANYTHING TO YOU! PLEASE...don't...leave...me...  
  
Me: Dan...no...please...please don't give up Dan—Get OFF OF ME!  
  
Lucius was crawling his way up my body, and it was disgusting. He was all slimy and cold and he hurt. His "precious'" were level with my knee, and I kneed him in the groin. Hard. He fell off of me in pain, and started crying. I didn't think I did that much damage...  
  
Lucius: You damn castrated me!  
  
Me: Dan...  
  
Dan: Lily...help!  
  
I went over, and untied Dan, and stood him up. I swear we were going to have one of those moments they always have in the movies, when—  
  
"House elves—att—ack!"  
  
All of a sudden, thousands of sporks were launched at Dan and me. The house elves, surprisingly, have very good aim. Many of their sporks hit Dan and me head-on, as we ran out of the house elf camp.  
  
The house elves were in the middle of their attack, when a woman, who appeared to be in her fifties or so, jumped out from behind a log, and screamed.  
  
"Lucius!"  
  
"Bellatrix?" He muttered eyes wide in surprise.  
  
"You dirty bitch!"  
  
"What—"  
  
"You left me, three months pregnant, with a child that wasn't even my husbands, to take care of myself!"  
  
"You were—"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Was it –-"  
  
"Yes, you dirty fool!"  
  
"Oh my—"  
  
"I have waited too long for this Lucius."  
  
"What are you going—"  
  
"Goodbye Lucius."  
  
And she strangled him until he died. Lucius was trying to hang on, and ripped her sleeve off, revealing the Dark Mark that was engraved into her arm. Lucius continued to flail around, until he just stopped.  
  
The house elves stopped what they were doing, and dropped to the ground, as one of them cried out, "Master has left Brody! Master Malfoy has died! Brody must mourn! Brody says that all house elves must mourn! Great master has died!" And all the elves tumbled to the ground, some with tears in their eyes.  
  
We ran as fast as we could, until me reached the safety of the school grounds, and....

* * *

Two hours later 

Still holed up in this place  
  
Sorry about that last part. I sort of passed out while I was writing. I hate that. I was talking to Bray and Jay, when all of a sudden I passed out. I really didn't want to pass out, it just happened. According to the insane lady who runs this hospital of sorts that is...  
  
I don't know what time it is Where the hell am I?  
  
Holy crap, I am lost. This is not the hospital wing; I don't even think that I am at school. For some strange reason, this place looks slightly familiar...did I live here in a past life?  
  
Oh wait; there is somebody with a bright orange robe on who has just walked in.  
  
"Oh good," they are saying, "both of you are up." I look to my left, and I am seeing Dan waking up, rubbing his eyes. "I am Healer Hickey, and I am your Healer while you both are staying here. Ring this bell if you need anything," and Healer Hickey placed a bell on the table in between the beds that Dan and I currently occupy.  
  
There is only one place that I know of that has healers. And that is Saint Mungos.  
  
Lily  
  
P.S. I swear that the healer was covered in hickies. He must be getting some major action...

* * *

Two minutes later 

In this bed  
  
HOLY CRAP! I'M AT SAINT MUNGO'S!!!!!

* * *

Okay, so I know now that it is November 7th, I just don't know what day of the week it is... It is...11:56 PM  
  
I have been dead board for the past two days. I swear the most interesting thing that has happened was when the drag queen and the gay bloke came in to check out wounds, and inform me that I am going to get a rape test.  
  
Lily

* * *

Two seconds later  
I'm in my bed  
  
Why the hell am I getting a rape test? I was ALMOST raped; I didn't GET raped! Honestly! And when I pointed this out, they said, we can't be sure of that. And I was like; well hell yes, I'm sure of that!  
  
And, to top it all off, they are testing me in the room I currently occupy. RIGHT IN FRONT OF DAN MALFOY! I might love him, but I am NOT ready for him to see me with my legs spread open, getting a test done THAT I DON'T EVEN NEED!!!!!!!  
  
Dude, Dan is throwing pillows at me...ouch...he just hit me in the head with those pee pans they give you...that hurt...  
  
Lily  
  
P.S. People can be so violent...

* * *

November 8th, 4:15 PM 

My horrible, white room, sitting in my hard, scratchy bed  
  
I don't see why I am being kept here. I am perfectly healthy and fine! And all my bruises and such were healed when I got here! But have they let me out yet? No, they have to be mean people, and LOCK me in a room with a person who I am in love with, and yet will not talk, except to tell me to stop writing because he is trying to sleep. Hasn't sleeping been all we have been allowed to do here? Because the locked us in here, seriously, I tried to go get some chocolate from the vending machines, and found that the door was locked. And when I started pounding on the door, Dan started yelling at me, because he was trying to sleep.  
  
Stupid house elves  
  
Lily

* * *

Two minutes later 

Still in this room, with this insufferable git, I swear if I didn't love him I would kill him  
  
I have visitors! Finally, people who do not want to sleep all the time!!!!! I wonder who it is...oh, its Jay and Bray, and they brought Sean and Drew!!!!!!!!!  
  
Lily

* * *

Later, there is no clock in this room...and no windows, either 

Sigh, still in this room, only now I am in a chair...  
  
I had a lovely chat with my best friends. I guess nobody knows of what I did, and they all think that I have been shipped off to a loony bin. Besides that, I am failing almost all of my classes. Jay and Bray had gobs of extra credit for me to do and tons of late assignments, because the one week where I holed myself up in Dumbledore's office did not excuse me from missing class, and as of now, I have three months of detentions from missing so many classes. But does Dan get any homework, and three months of detention? No, he just gets fifty thousand cards from well wishers at Hogwarts. Hs crappy mood must be contagious, because now I have it too.  
  
But today also held some good news, Jay and Sean made an announcement today, and no, they are not going to produce any offspring. So, dear diary, get your mind out of the gutter. Actually, they are now officially going out! I know! I was very happy for them too! Sean was even blushing when they told us, it was really sweet. And then the drag queen and the gay bloke came in to shoo everybody away, because they were going to do the rape test. I started screaming, and so did Bray and Jay.  
  
They were like, "A WHAT TEST? YOU WHERE WHAT?" And then Jay passed out. Apparently, at Saint Mungo's, people pass out in a regular pattern, because all the drag queen said was, "Oh, go take her to the waiting area, and have a receptionist there revive her."  
  
And I was like, can't you do that here? And then they said, nope, its time for your rape test, like they tested people for rape on a regular basis! This was quite shocking in its self! So Sean picked up Jay, and carried her out to the waiting area, while Bray and Drew said that they were going to the tearoom, and would be back in a while. Dan just flipped over in his bed, and stared at the wall.  
  
So the drag queen and the gay bloke left to go get the person who does rape tests, and as soon as they left, I ripped my IV (I didn't know that they had IV's at Saint Mungo's, but they said that this was a new concept that they had learned of, and a very helpful muggle device.) After I ripped out the IV, I pulled on my robes that were ripped, and stained with blood, and made a dash for the tearoom.  
  
I ran as fast as I could to the stairs, and rushed to the fifth floor. I found the tearoom, but not after going past the loony ward, and seeing Gilderoy Lockhart trying to push the chained doors open, screaming, "Rubber duckier! Rubber duck! Rubber ducky!" And then, I found the tearoom.  
  
The tearoom only had a few people in it, a group of teens, they looked to be about fourteen or fifteen, giggling about something, Bray and Drew, and a couple in the back right hand corner, who were sitting very close together, and the girl seemed to be crying, her red hair was matted, like she had just woke up, and the man looked tired, and his hair was just as messy. There was a baby-grand piano off to the side, opposite of a giant table which was full of things to make different types of coffee and tea. Many over stuffed chairs, loveseats, and sofas littered the room, and a huge oak table took up most of the middle of the room. It was cozy in its own eclectic way.  
  
I made my way over to Bray and Drew, trying to avoid the large group of teenagers.  
  
"Bray, Drew," I whispered, walking over to them, and sitting down on a chair close to their sofa.  
  
"Lily! I thought you were having a rape test?" Bray said, surprised.  
  
"Ya, well, I don't see why, I mean I wasn't even raped!"  
  
"Oh."  
  
The door to the tearoom opened, and somebody slipped in, but I didn't get to see who it was, because they were crouched down, as to probably avoid being spotted.  
  
"Did you see who just came in?" I asked them, but they just shook their heads. Suddenly, a body appeared next to me, making me jump.  
  
"Lily!" It said, and I recognized the voice as Dan. "What are you doing here? You have to get your test!"  
  
"How did you find me?"  
  
"I followed your trail of blood."  
  
"I'm not having..."  
  
"You ripped your IV out." I looked down at my left wrist, which was covered in blood, and had a huge gash in it.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Now, get back to the room for your rape test." He said, his voice slowly rising in volume.  
  
"You where there," I replied, keeping my voice low, "He didn't rape me."  
  
"But that doesn't mean that he didn't bruise you are something like that."  
  
"Oh, so now you are agreeing with the loonies that run this place? You think that I should have people look at things I don't want them to look at? Hmm?"  
  
"Lily, that's not what I meant, and you know it."  
  
"No Dan, I don't."  
  
"Yes, you do Lily."  
  
"No Dan, I don't know what you meant, so why don't you enlighten me on why you are agreeing with the crack heads that run this place?" I said, standing up and yelling at him.  
  
"You want to know why I want you tested?"  
  
"Yes. Why don't you TALK TO ME, AND TELL ME WHY! THAT'S SOMETHING YOU HAVEN'T BEEN DOING LATELY!"  
  
"WELL, IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT I CARE ABOUT YOU, IS IT?"  
  
"YOU SAY THAT, AND THEN YOU WANT PEOPLE TO DO INHUMANE THINGS TO ME!"  
  
"NO LILY! YOU DON' GET IT, DO YOU?"  
  
"WHATS TO GET? YOU JUST WANT PEOPLE TO TEST ME FOR SOMETHING THAT NEVER HAPPENED TO ME, JUST BECAUSE—"  
  
"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" He yelled, silencing the whole room.  
  
"You...l—l—l—lo—lo—loo—love me?" I said.  
  
"Yes. And it's because I love you that I want you checked for rape. I want to make sure that vile excuse for a man hasn't done anything to you." He said, taking my hands into his.  
  
"I—I—I—"  
  
"Shh, you don't have to say anything. And, it's because I love you that I am going to do this." And he kissed me. And then, my parents walked over to us. And you want to know the first thing Dad said was?  
  
"Damn, now who gets the money? None of us said Halloween-ish..."  
  
"Harry!" Mum said, and swatted him on the back of his head.  
  
"Ow..."  
  
Dan and I pulled apart, and looked at my parents. I realized that they were the couple in the corner, and mum's face really was tear-stained.  
  
"Oh Lily," she gushed, and tired to suffocate me. "Oh thank goodness you're alright! I though we were going to lose you...oh sweet heart..."  
  
I was like...since when did she how affection towards me?  
  
"Mum I...can't breathe!" I gasped out, and he let go.  
  
"Come here, my little punk rocker!" Dad said, and picked me up, and hugged me. I swear they were acting like I was seven, not seventeen!  
  
"Dad...I can't...breathe..."  
  
"Oh, right." He said, and up me down.  
  
"You alright," Bray asked me, speaking for the first time in a while.  
  
"Ya," I replied.  
  
"I am so happy your okay!" She said, and started crying, while she hugged me. She let go, just as Dan and Drew exchanged a brotherly huge.  
  
"Dan, you fell hard for her, didn't you?" Drew said, looking at me suspiciously.  
  
"Ya...hey, what about you and Bray?"  
  
"I really like her...and...well, we're going out...and we have "good chemistry" according to Trelawney."  
  
"You asked her about Bray?"  
  
"No, she cam up to me in class in this really freaky voice, and looked like she was having a seizure, and said, 'you and the half vampire...there is strong chemistry...hold her dear and close or you will loose her forever...' Freaky, really."  
  
"Weird..."  
  
All of a sudden, a bunch of the orange-clad healers came bounding in, and this really ugly one yelled, "There she is," and pointed to me. They all lunged at me, and jumped away from them, and scrambled back to my room. Dan followed me, as well as the rest of us, and then I went into my room, and am now currently sitting with my feet clamped to the floor with a sticking spell, in hopes that they can't test me now. Mum and Dad, Bray and Drew left, and Jay came and said goodbye, and left with the rest of them, and now Dan is walking over to me, and I have to go....  
  
Lily

* * *

Please review. Do this, and you might find that you are reading chapter nine sooner than you thought! 


	9. Living In A Bathroom

_ The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter  
Chapter Nine: Living in a Bathroom  
_  
Authors Note: My dog ate my lunch, and I feel like I want to throw up, I can't find any good songs to listen to, and I just now found out that "Interview With A Vampire," my latest read, is a movie. Does life hate me?  
  
In other news, the amount of reviewing is amazing, and I would reply to some of your questions, but I am not in the mood. So, I will just post this, because nobody reads these anyways.  
  
Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. And unless in JKR's will, she leaves me her characters, they will never be mine, seeing as she is probably giving them to her two children.  
  
Dedication: To my fish, because I have no one else to dedicate a chapter to

* * *

I figured out it was November 10th! And it is 11:56 AM 

Locked in the bathroom, hiding in the shower in embarrassment  
  
The most horrible thing happened to me....  
  
Lily

* * *

Two seconds later Same place  
  
I can't even think about it.  
  
Oh fine, I'll tell you what happened. I will, eventually.... oh fine... Well, we convinced the healers that I don't need a rape test. I swear that a healer looked pretty putout about that...anyway, I started on my homework, and was doing Professor Moody's "Past Experience Test" and discovered something.  
  
In question 1,235-part A.F the question is, "Who are the only people who can see thestrels?" The answer is people who have seen someone die. And then I realized, I could see them, because I watched Lucius die. And then I got dressed. And I discovered something. My chest grew. Yes, my dear friends, I am not a size 48-B, I am now the smallest C-size possible!  
  
So, of course this was reason to celebrate i.e. jump up and down in circles yelling, "I'M A SIZE C!" This would have simply wonderful if my WHOLE FAMILY was not outside the door, and Dan was not reading Play Wizard magazine at the time. Everyone heard me screaming, and like twenty people came into the room, wands raised, looking around for my attacker. Dan put down his magazine, revealing a very naked picture of a Quidditch Player, riding her broom, trying to catch a snitch.  
  
"Lily!" Mum screamed, I swear the woman was insane at that point, "What's wrong?"  
  
"Dan!" Draco said, "You really shouldn't be reading that here! Put that up." And then he took the magazine, rolled it up, hit Dan on the shoulder, and put the magazine in his pocket. And then I realized something.  
  
I was standing there, in front of my whole family, plus the Malfoy family, in a pair of Dan's boxer shorts (I had my own underwear on underneath) because the hospital gowns are too breezy, and a black bra, with a hospital gown on my arms.  
  
"Lily," Sirius said, "You might want to cover something up." And I looked down. And I blushed. I swear it was the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to me. So I ran into the bathroom, and locked the door. Bray and Jay came over to the door, and knocked on it.  
  
"Come on Lily..."  
  
"Open the door..." I guess they are working on that completing each other's sentences thing...  
  
"We will..."  
  
"Tear the door down..."  
  
"If you don't open it..."  
  
"Now." They said together.  
  
"Fine," I mumbled, and slipped a piece of toilet paper under the door.  
  
"What does it say?" Somebody asked.  
  
"Umm..." They said.  
  
"Give it here." Somebody else said. "Oh." They said after a few moments.  
  
"What does it say?" Somebody yelled."  
  
"I need some new bras."  
  
Everyone laughed. And then I realized something else. I had left you, dear diary, out, open on my last page of writing. So I did the sanest thing. I unlocked the door, and ran out there, grabbed you, another pen, and ran back into the bathroom. I was insane, I know.  
  
Thus, I sit here, locked in the bathroom, and like, six people are pounding on the door, but nobody is coming in. Nobody at all.  
  
Lily

* * *

Ten Minutes Later 

In the bathtub  
  
They are never making me come out. I think Dad even called the Special Forces Aurors, because I can here muffled talking about blasting down the door. But they will never make me come out of here. Not after what happened out there.  
  
The good thing is that I have a bigger chest! Not that it really matters. Some of the healers were talking earlier, and they are keeping us here because we have "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder." I know, even the name of the disorder is funny. So, I started laughing about it, and these people came in, and stole all of our candy, and they left, saying that they never should have let us have candy. But you know what, I don't care. Because they will never get me out of here!  
  
Lily

* * *

Oh, God They didn't  
  
They had a shrink apparate in here. Oh my God  
  
This is what she is saying:  
  
Shrink: Lily, my name is Healer Mana. I am here to help you get over what ever has caused you to lock yourself in this bathroom.  
  
I cannot believe this.  
  
Me: Oh dear Lord...  
  
Shrink: Lily, I am here for you to talk. You have no shown any reaction to what has happened to you, and people are becoming very worried about you.  
  
Me: What the f—  
  
Shrink: Now, Lily, would you like to talk about what happened to you on Halloween?  
  
Me: What are you going on about?  
  
Shrink: Lily, I want to help you talk about how you feel inside about this "incident."  
  
Me: I am dreaming...  
  
Shrink: Lily, thinking that you are hallucinating can be a part of what you are feeling. Now, do you dream about that night, and Lucius trying to rape you?  
  
I stopped trying to figure out why my parents sent me a shrink, and absorbed what she had said. And what she said was true. I had been dreaming about that night, and about what would have happened if I hadn't kneed Lucius. And then there were the dreams where I couldn't save Dan, and then I was about to be killed. And those scared me the most.  
  
I had never really thought about my life, or put any thought to anything that had happened. Throughout my life, I have experienced some pretty traumatic things, and have not really had a reaction to it. And I think its because I don't care anymore. I never think about anything too much. I establish what has happened, and leave it at that. I don't over- examine things, or worry about anything. I just breeze through whatever people throw at me, and deal with it, and I don't let it bug me. I have no emotional attachment to anything.  
  
Is that a bad thing? I really don't put any emotions into anything, like this whole kidnapping thing. Dan has been really quiet, and hasn't talked to anybody really, and I have just been like, when can I get out of here? I don't even have any of the disorders that people say I should have, what with the kidnapping and everything. But, I don't. I really don't have any emotions about anything. And then I started crying. And the shrink hugged me. It was freaky. I was having a bonding session with a shrink and all she did was hug me, and ask me if I wanted to talk.  
  
I nodded my head no, unlocked the door, and threw her out, and locked myself back up. And this is how I now find myself, sitting in the bathtub, wrapped in a shower curtain, writing this, crying.  
  
Lily

* * *

November 12th, 4:05 PM 

Still in the bathroom  
  
I have survived two days in this bathroom. All I did was summon my pillow and blanket, and some food. Everything else was here. So, it has been a pretty boring two days. The only thing half way interesting is when the shrink tries to talk to me though the door. That can get pretty funny, since I told her that she was an insane old coot, and she though I said that her shoes were cute. Then, she suggested I get tested for being a Seer, and having X-ray vision. If that doesn't suggest insanity, then I don't know what else will.  
  
And through the notes that my family has slipped me, I found out that Sirius has gotten a new girlfriend. Her name is Elizabeth Wood. And I completely hate her. She is worse than his first girlfriend. Seriously. I have hated her since fourth year, when she did the whole black-to-pink- thing on Valentine's Day. I have nothing against a light pink color, but no, she covered me in NEON PINK!!! Oh well, things could be worse, I suppose.  
  
Lily

* * *

November 13th, 11:45 AM 

The Bathroom  
  
My shrink just slipped this under the door. It's a pamphlet on mental health disorders. Why is a shrink giving me this? Oh well, there is a list of symptoms for each one. Hmmm...I wonder if I have any of these...  
  
What should I look at...what about Major Depressive Disorder? What about that...hmm...  
  
Lily

* * *

Still the 13th 

Bathroom  
  
I think I am depressed. That, or I have a very weak case of Bi- Polar. Seriously. That would all explain my mood swings, sleeping habits, my not being emotionally attached problem, why I don't want to be with people sometimes, and my sudden not wanting of food. Oh, wouldn't my shrink love to hear this. And, I have a headache, because they won't stop pounding on my door, and it is driving me nuts!  
  
And, I am missing my music. I love listening to music, but locking myself in this bathroom has limited my listening. It's sad. They have like, twenty doctors out there, supposedly, according to the latest note, which is from my mother. The doctors are trying to see if I am suffering from some guilt, or something, which in a way, I think I am, because I really do feel guilty about the whole thing.  
  
If I had never been born, none of this would have happened. Dan would not be in love with me, and my parents could have all the children they want, and not worry about having another four children, which is what Mum said when I was looking for a towel in their bathroom, and found a box of condoms in their bathroom.  
  
I mean; it's cool that they practice safe sex and all, because if James and Sirius knew that, they would use condoms more often. And that would be a total plus, because then, I wouldn't become an aunt at age seventeen. And I don't want that, because then my brother would feel bad, marry the blonde bimbo, and then I would be related to a total bimbo, because she actually WANTED to engage in sexual activities with MY BROTHER! But, hey, I live with him, he's my brother, and the bimbo's don't. So, hey. That's my feelings on it.  
  
So, I had the weirdest dream yesterday. I was standing there, in a pool, crying. And no body was around. I was just standing in this pool, in my school robes, crying. And I don't even know why. I was just crying. And then, this shadowy figure came up to me, kissed me, and then we made out. He left me, and then I started crying all over again. It was troubling. I have no clue what it meant, but it scared the shit out of me. I am having weird dreams about crying, and unknown men making out with me. That is almost as weird as that one dream when I did it with this one dude from this one show on satellite...but the dude was really hot...anyway...  
  
People are trying to blast the door down, and I can hear the doctors yelling,  
  
"Try not to scare her! She is suffering from intense guilt! Remember, she locked herself in there because she feels guilty about what has happened in her life! Be careful!"  
  
No, I feel guilty because I was born, I am a complete waste of space, and I am still embarrassed about being in front of everyone in my knickers.  
  
Lily

* * *

Two minutes later 

I'm never leaving this bathroom  
  
You know, there are people out there with worse problems than me...but still, I don't live me life by thinking about what I could not have, I say, I have this, so I am going to live life as I have with this thing, and I am not going to compare myself to somebody else, because I can't because judging people is against what God wants...right? Oh fine, that's the last time I tell you what that third year that is obsessed with God has to say.  
  
But does that make me selfish, not caring about people who are off far worse than me? Does that make me a bad person? I mean really, there is an organization, which is called Magi-Peace, which is like Green Peace...I could join that, and give back to what I have taken...  
  
I said I don't over think anything, but what am I doing now? Over thinking my life! I really do have problems. I really should stop doing this, I am over thinking again. Honestly, I don't blame people for sending a shrink in here! I need one, with all my insecurity issues.  
  
Someone is pounding on the door again, oh for the love of punks everywhere, I will just open this door!  
  
Lily

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Thanky to all who have reviewed, and I would love you forever if you reviewed. Thanky.

ALSO: I have now formed the UnOffical 'I Hate Hillary Duff Club' Go to my homepage, and click on the "General" section, and you will find it. I am Red on that page....The Red Haired One was too long....

So, check it out!


	10. A Thought For The Day

_ The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter  
Chapter Ten: A Thought For The Day  
_  
Authoress Note: I am terribly sorry for your long wait, but I have had many things going on lately, and I am currently covered in red paint, so...yeah.  
  
Anyway, I have 59 reviews. I started doing a dance in front of my family, while screaming, "I HAVE FIFTY-NINE REVIEWS!'  
  
In other news, JKR announced the title of the sixth book! It is: "HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE." I have a Cho theory that goes with the title, but we won't get into that. I ran around screaming when I found this out. And I had no shades on my windows, so I think the whole neighborhood is now aware of my Harry Potter obsession.  
  
Dedication: To JKR for announcing the title of the next book.  
  
Disclaimer: I am not smart enough to come up with such a title for a book.

* * *

November 14th, 6:56 AM 

The Tearoom in the Hospital  
  
Yes, I came out. In fact, the person was Bray, and she wanted to talk. She was worried—okay, so everyone was worried, but she got elected to come talk to me. Jay would have, but she had to go back, something about their parents wanting to talk to them...anyway, so Bray was standing there, and the minute I opened the door, she screams, "LILY!" And hugs me to near-death.  
  
And then I went, "BRAY!" And hugged her back with equal enthusiasm. I looked around, and saw that she was the only person in the room. "Where is everybody?" I asked her.  
  
"Um...Dan and Drew went off with their parental units to go chat, Jay had something to deal with up at Hogwarts, your parents are talking to the Healers about what they think about your mental condition, and James, Sirius and Remus were shipped off back to Hogwarts."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"I brought you something."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yea." And then, Bray pulls out my CD player. "And, Smile Empty Soul is in there, just to let you know." She said, with a smile.  
  
"Oh...well...thank you! You have no idea how much this means to me!" I cried, and hugged her again. "You have no idea how horrible it was, locked in there with no music."  
  
"Yea, hey, they are showing Bridget Jones' Diary in the tearoom in a few minutes. Want to check it out?"  
  
"Sure!" And we walked up to the tearoom, me carrying my CD player. We had a really fun time; it was amazing to be in the company of other people. Some of the people in the tearoom got a bit mad at us, because we started yelling when the two blokes started beating each other up over Bridget, and when ever we saw Hugh Grant we would start talking in loud whispers about how hot he was.  
  
And then, when Bridget ran out into the streets in her knickers, and kissed the one bloke, we stood up, and clapped, which almost got us kicked out. And then, after that was over, they played—get this—Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban! It was the funniest thing either of us had ever seen. Bray and I started laughing at the introduction, and we thought that the actor who played my father looked like a young Toby McGuire...and then we started laughing again, and people stared at us, until we were asked to be quiet. And then, the best part of the movie came up. It was the part when Hermione slaps Draco. We stood up, and clapped, and screamed, "You go girl!" And, "Girl power!" And then we were personally escorted out, but we snuck back in and watched the rest of it. It was pretty funny.  
  
Then, when they showed Sirius and Remus hugging, I screamed, "They are not gay!" And promptly ran out of the room, only to sneak back in a few moments later.  
  
Then, the lights came back on, and we had to somehow make it look like we had left the room, so we hid under an ottoman until everybody had left, when in walked Jay. And then, they sat me down, and demanded that she talk to us about something.  
  
Lily

* * *

Later 

My rooms...sigh...  
  
Jay and Bray are very...shocked at this moment I suppose. I don't know. I sort of left them in the tearoom after Jay told us what she had to say.  
  
Apparently, their original parents, who gave them up for adoption because they were half-vampires, and death eaters were still a big priority when we were born, and their parents didn't want them killed, have contacted the muggles who adopted my two best friends, and want to see their daughters at Christmas. Their muggle parents were mad about this last part, because that would mean that they wouldn't get to see Jay and Bray at Christmas, so their muggle father called up to the school, and wanted to talk to one of them, and it has been decided that Jay and Bray will spend half of Christmas Holidays at their muggle parent's home, do their Christmas thing with them there on the last day of Hanukah, then come to my house for Christmas Eve, and then go to their birth parents house for the rest of Holidays.  
  
When Jay started yelling about how she hated that their real parents never tried to get them until now, I left. They needed some time to themselves, and I just wanted to be alone, I suppose. Even though I had locked myself in a bathroom for two days just to do that, I still wanted to be alone.  
  
I kind-of thought it was funny that they knew that they were adopted, but never got mad at their real parents for leaving them when they were so young. I mean, I would be mad at my parents if they did that to me, because I would have wanted to grow up with people who I belonged to. I don't want to have to face new challenges in life, because that scares me.  
  
Having to let go of what you have grown to love, accept and agree with is a part of life, I suppose. But it's hard to let go, and I can see that now. That's why I didn't want to go face those house elves, even if it did mean that I would bring Dan back. I didn't want to find anything that I haven't countered before. I don't want to explore anything new. And maybe that's my problem. I am trying too hard to hold on, and I think that I am letting go, when I'm not. I am just sitting here, not facing my fears, not coming to terms with anything. I am just running, and I slow down at times, so it doesn't seem like I am running away from anything, but then something happens and I just lock myself up again. Just like the bathroom. I am such an idiot. I run away from my problems, rather than try to make them better. I let other people deal with things.  
  
Emotional attachment isn't my problem. I run away from everything. I didn't stay with Jay and Bray, I left them. I didn't go after Jay when they pranked her; I walked in the other direction. What kind of person am I? No wonder my mother hates me. I can't even confront myself about HER! I am just running away from her too.  
  
I am screwed up. I need to stop running, and face some challenges. But, as long as there are obstacles, I don't see myself ever stopping to take a breath from running.  
  
Lily

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PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!! I AM POSTING TWO CHAPTERS BECAUSE I HAVE THE BEST READERS IN THE WORLD!  
  
Thanky. 


	11. Everything That Is Wrong In My Life

_

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The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter  
Chapter Eleven: Everything That Is Wrong In My Life  
_  
Authoress Note: Honestly, this is one of my favorite chapters. I have never felt more like Lily until four days ago, when I felt her pain in this chapter. Honestly. Anyway, I could go on forever, but I can't, seeing as I am going to try to get a different Blink 182 song stuck in my head besides "Blow Job," which is a funny song. The lyrics are:  
  
It would be nice to have a blow job (repeat a thousand times) 

From your mom (Strum guitar chord)  
  
Dedication: To my red, red, red room. I love you very much. Even though it took two gallons of paint and a gallon of Pepto-Bismol Pink tinted primer...I still love you.  
  
Disclaimer: TO TUNE OF BLINK 182'S "BLOW JOB" (The song can be found on "The Mark, Tom, and Travis Show")  
  
It would be nice to own Harry Potter (Repeat a thousand times)

But he belongs to JKR...

Thank you!

* * *

November 16th, 12:36 PM 

Gryffindor Common Room  
  
They finally let us out of the hospital, and allowed us to come back to Hogwarts. My first day of school begins tomorrow, so they gave us today off. Only Jay, Bray, James, Sirius, Remus, and Drew know that Dan and I are back. So, nothing really interesting has happened around me since. Although, I still have to continue counseling.  
  
Twice a week, during lunch, I have to go to a peer counseling session with somebody from the sixth year. I don't see how a sixth year could be my peer, but I suppose that as long as they are from Gryffindor, I really don't care who they are.  
  
Dan hasn't talked to me lately. He really hasn't talked to me since he told me that he loved me in the tearoom and kissed me then, I don't even know if we are going out. When we got back from the hospital, he went and locked himself up in his dorm, and hasn't come down, but I am not worried about him. I really don't want to talk to him or anybody right now, so I am happy all by myself. I want to listen to some music, so I'll be off.  
  
Lily

* * *

November 17th, 2:23 PM 

Muggle Studies  
  
NEVER go back to school on a day when we have muggle studies. It sucks. We are planning our Thanksgiving Day thing, which will be on the 25th. So, I'm stuck here for TWO hours planning this stupid dinner, because its double muggle studies. Does life hate me, or something? Because, honestly, the way things are looking, life does. I mean, lets make a list of everything that is wrong with my life.  
  
_Everything That Is Wrong In My Life  
A list by Lily Audrey Potter  
_  
1.The muggle studies teacher is talking to the Vegetarian Club about the prospects of a tofu turkey.

2.I have just spent like, two weeks in Saint Mungo's, and two of those days were spent locked in the bathroom.

3.I was nearly raped by Lucius Malfoy. If that isn't traumatizing, I don't know what is.

4.Dan Malfoy, who I am in love with, who loves me as well, has yet to ask me to be his girlfriend, even if we MADE OUT IN FRONT OF MY PARENTS!

5.Hogwarts is participating in Thanksgiving, a holiday that doesn't EXIST in the UK, and what's worse; OUR FAMILIES ARE COMING TO HOGWARTS FOR IT!

6. I have one of the most dysfunctional families in the world, I mean, my parents practice safe sex, I have six uncles, all of whom, except for Ron, have families of their own, which means that at Christmas there is at least forty people at the chosen person's house, which is usually mine.

7.We still don't have house elves at Hogwarts, which really sucks, because I was eating cold pizza for breakfast this morning.

8. I have to have a "peer mentor," who I meet twice a week, starting next week.

9. My mother owled me at breakfast; the Malfoys, Weasleys, Bells, Grangers, Dumbledore, the Longbottoms, Abbots, Diggory's, Woods, Johnson's, and the aurors are coming over for the Christmas party of the twenty-third. My house's maximum capacity is 100; this is pushing 400.

10.The number ten reason that my life has gone horribly wrong:  
  
I have just gotten a note, from Dan, for me. Lord, help me.  
  
Lily

* * *

Two minutes later 

Muggle Studies doesn't end for another hour  
  
I am going to go hide in my room and never come out. This is what the letter from Dan said:  
  
**Lil,  
  
I am sorry about not talking to you, but I need to think some things out. Like where I want to go with my life. I know that there is something going on between us, but I think that it would be the best for both of us if we just stayed friends; I really want to think about what I need to do for myself in my life before I can have other people be in my life.  
  
Yours,  
  
Dan  
**  
He hates me. That is the only reason for this note. I must have been the worst snogger in the history of the known world. WELL I'M SORRY, BUT I HAVE NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND! THEY ARE USUALLY TOO PREPPY FOR ME TOO LIKE THEM LIKE THAT!  
  
Yes, dear diary, it's the sad truth. I am seventeen, and have never had a boyfriend. My brothers, not including Remus, have already been laid. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I am going to end up an old hag living in a cave outside Hogsmead. Woe is I.  
  
Hags-ly yours, Lily

* * *

Same Day, 6:02 PM 

Great Hall  
  
Dad just owled, apparently Uncle Bill's oldest daughter just gave birth to her fifth child. It's name: Libby. Is it just I, or are things slowly getting worse and worse? My uncle and his wife name their child after the person who called me a gothic slut. My life is just one big blob that is spiraling out of control, and never stopping. And I still haven't gotten some new bras. I must do that on the upcoming Hogsmead trip. I need to make up a shopping list...I have run out of more than bras.

Lily

* * *

November 18th, 8:45 AM 

My Dorms  
  
Thank goodness that I am shopping today, my period started last night, and I have run out of pads. I would normally steal them from other people, but I am the only girl in my dorm, and all the other years banned me from their bathrooms, because last year I went in search of some pads, and completely trashed some of those bathrooms.  
  
Anyhow, I came up with my shopping list.  
  
Feminine products—MUST get!

Stop by that muggle store that they just put in—need some jeans and shirts, not to mention they have bras!

Stop by Honeydukes—almost out of chocolate, I ate all of it last night while I cried over Dan hating me, and read sad, depressing vampire stories.

Need more parchment, used the last bit on writing Libby an "I Hate You Note," in order to fuse the hate between us.

Ink, am running low on that...

Hairbrush, it mysteriously disappeared, suspect Sirius had something to do with that...  
  
So, that's my list...oh, I also need socks, James doesn't take care of his socks at all, and he is the only one who would not notice that his socks are missing...  
  
Sock-lessly yours,

Lily

* * *

Same day, 11:25 AM  
Sitting outside the coffee house in Hogsmead 

**(A/N: I _HATE_ to barge in right now, but the formatting has just screwed up, and it is almost midnight, and I need to sleep, so I am terribly sorry about it, I just don't have the time or energy to go through and fix it!)  
**  
Who knew that Hogsmead had a coffee house? I didn't. Anyway, as I  
was looking through my purse for the galleons that it took to pay for  
everything at the muggle clothing store, I found something. It was the  
note that Dan gave me. I had forgotten that I slipped it in you, and  
didn't see it fall out when I put you in my purse. Anyway, I re-read the  
note, and I began to think about a few things.  
  
First, he asked that we still remain friends. HOW CAN WE REMAIN  
FRIENDS?????? He should know, that after you make out with somebody and  
tell them that you love them, and then ask them to remain friends, THAT  
IT NEVER WORKS!!!!!!!!!! NEVER! And he wants to stay friends? I don't  
know if I can even be friends with him, I am this close to never talking  
to him again.  
  
And he said that he "Needs to decide where to go in life." What does  
that mean? I mean, I don't know where I want to go in life, but I am  
fully ready to let Dan into my life. I dunno, maybe he's gay.  
  
OH MY GOD! WHY DID I WRITE THAT???? DAN ISN'T GAY! WHY DID I  
WRITE THAT????  
  
Well, he can't be gay, but I don't know how else to explain it, except  
for that he might not like me, and I am wasting all this energy on  
nothing. I need to listen to some sad music now...wait, they are playing  
"That Thing You Do," by New Found Glory...this isn't depressing me...it's  
making me feel...I don't know...I didn't know that this café played music...oh  
well, the song is over...now they are playing "Touch and Go," by Dana Mase.  
Now this is sad music...anyway, I have better go, I want to stop by the  
bookshop near by, and my frap is gone...  
  
Lily.

* * *

Sigh...  
Sigh...sigh....  
  
I hate my life. I just saw Dan, at the pub...flirting with some blonde  
bimbo. Why does life hate me? Why? He won't let me into his life, but  
he will let some blonde bimbo, who needs a better dye job, into his life.  
What did I do wrong? What did I do to give myself such pain? Well, at  
least I know he's not gay; he just hates me.  
  
Oh well, I have just gotten finished up at Honeydukes, so I am just  
going to head over to the muggle store and get the rest of what I need,  
and head back up to the castle. Maybe some of the first or second years  
need some help with their homework.  
  
Lily. 

* * *

Later  
Common Room  
  
Note to self: NEVER HELP FIRST YEARS WITH THEIR HOMEWORK WHEN THEY  
ARE PRACTICING SWITCHING SPELLS. It's a horrible idea, with dastardly  
results. They switched my hair for a cactus, and this one girl had a  
melon for a nose. That poor girl, her nose was bigger than her face...oh  
well, at least I knew the counter spell, and so we spent the afternoon  
learning the disarming charm, even though they learn that in their second  
year, it never hurts to learn something early.  
  
When I was in the middle of teaching one of them this spell, in walked  
Dan, looking like he had gotten back from a snog session. I was like,  
"Had fun with your bimbo?"  
  
And then he went, "no, it's really windy out." I looked outside, and  
there wasn't even a slight breeze.  
  
Then I went, "did you get into a fight?" And he nodded his head.  
"Why?"  
  
"You know that note I gave you in Muggle Studies the other day?" I  
nodded my head. "Well, you left it outside the coffee house, and James  
found it. After reading it, he came up to me, and punched me."  
  
"Oh my gosh...I am SO sorry."  
  
"No, that's okay Lily, because it's my fault."  
  
"How is it you fault?"  
  
"It's my fault for ever liking you." And then he left, and went up to  
his dorms.  
  
WHY DOES LIFE HATE ME???? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS??? I DID  
NOTHING!!! SO WHY DOES LIFE HATE ME???? AM I CURSED? WHAT DID I  
DO?????????????????????????  
  
Lily 

* * *

PLEASE REVIEW! I LOVE EVERYONE WHO REVIEWS!  
  
Thanky. 


	12. My Bright Idea That Turned Out to be Bri...

_ The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter  
Chapter Twelve: My Bright Idea That Turned Out to be Bright  
_  
Authoress Note: I have nothing to say, really...  
  
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER! BUT I WOULD NOT MIND OWNING DRACO MALFOY!  
  
Dedication: It's at the bottom.

* * *

November 22, 8:54 AM

The Great Hall  
  
I hate him. I really do. He is an ass. He is so stupid, and pathetic, and many more adjectives I can't think of right now. Although, I had my first peer counseling session yesterday. All we did was sit around and play Crazy Eights. The girl is a sixth year, who would rather be snogging her boyfriend, than talking to me. That was fine with me, and so we played cards. She had a packet of what we were supposed to talk about, but she threw it in the wastebasket as soon as I walked into the room. So, it was okay, better than having to sit next to him at breakfast, and not talk to him.  
  
Dan is such a jerk, and I don't care if I ever see him again. He has a problem, and I don't know what it is, because he won't talk to me, unless he is telling me that we shouldn't start anything, because it won't work out. WE NEVER HAD ANYTHING TO BEGIN WITH! We were just two lost people, who have no clue what to do with our lives. He has obviously decided to not have me in his life, and that is fine with me, because I don't want him in my life, either.  
  
Oh, who the hell and I kidding? IT'S KILLING ME THAT HE HATES ME! AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I DID! Honestly, guys are so temperamental. They act as if they are constantly PMS-ing. Honestly, Dan is acting like a Jock. He is not a jock, Dan plays guitar in a band, which hasn't existed since Dumbledore put us out that one night, and he is the second smartest person in the school. So why the hell is he hanging out with the jocks? WHY?  
  
And it doesn't help that my best friends have boyfriends, and I don't. I mean, I am very happy for them, you know, because they have found happiness, but, I am just sitting here, writing this, listening to the boys laugh at jokes that are in no way funny. Does the world really hate me? Because from the way it's looking, the world does.  
  
Lily

* * *

November 24th, 8:26 AM

Great Hall  
  
Thanksgiving is tomorrow. Bray is sitting next to me, blasting Queen. I didn't think that she even liked Queen. Oh well, "Killer Queen" is playing, and it's not bad music, so I really can't complain. I mean, even if this music was made WAY before the thought of our parents being born was thought the music still is good. Anyway, on to more pressing matters.  
  
THANKSGIVING IS TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO????? MY WHOLE FAMILY IS COMING!!!!!! Honestly, why did I have to be born into one of the biggest wizarding families ever? Why? Is this more proof that life hates me?  
  
You know, maybe it is. Maybe this is more proof that life does hate me, and I should just give up. I mean, the man I am trying not to love hates me, and it's like...I don't know what to do. I don't want to give up on him, because he said that he has feelings for me, and it's all screwed up. I love him, and I realize this, and he loves me and.... I have had the best idea in the world. Excuse me while I go perform this amazing idea.  
  
Lily

* * *

Later

Broom Closet  
  
Well, I just did my great idea. I kissed Dan Malfoy in front of the whole school. And then I told him, take it, or leave it. And I walked out. Wasn't that a wonderful idea? And telling him to take it or leave it...I sound like a friggn Temptress...oh well, maybe that will have given him the idea by now, because if that didn't, the boy is hopeless.  
  
Anyway, I have no idea why I am hiding in a broom closet; it was the nearest thing from the Great Hall with a door, so that's convenient. Anyway, I have decided what to do if the thing with Dan—or any man, for that matter—doesn't work out...and I am NOT becoming a spinster or old maid...I am going to join a nunnery. I know, it sounds dead boring, and I am not even Catholic, but you know, it sounds better than becoming an old spinster, and having twenty cats...  
  
Or, instead of the nunnery or becoming an old spinster, I could become a Bachelorette! Now, I could live that life. It sounds much better than being an old spinster...oh well, life is full of surprises, maybe Dan will come to his senses, and snog me back. That would be nice, you know, he really is a nice snogger...but of course, you, as a diary, wouldn't know that. Yes, he is awesome. His lips taste like peppermint, and he is so warm and, soft...and wonderful...sigh...  
  
Oh! Someone is knocking on the door! I must go; maybe it's another person—or couple—bit by the luv bug...  
  
Bit by the luv bug,

Lily

* * *

Later

Transfiguration  
  
The knocker...was Dan! I opened the door, he said, "take it," and started snogging me, until the late bell sounded, we straightened ourselves up, and dashed off to Transfiguration—holding hands. We got in so much trouble...well, I have two weeks detention from Snape for PDA, and Dan just got one day for being late. But I am so happy! Because, I dear diary, have...  
  
A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!! I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!! WEEEE!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T HAVE TO BECOME AN OLD SPINSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!! I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Anyway, I am obviously very happy...oh, McGonagall is giving me the eye...I must go...  
  
Mrs. Dan Malfoy

* * *

Two minutes later  
  
WHAT THE HELL SHOULD I WEAR FOR THANKSGIVING?????

* * *

After Classes, 4:56 PM

The loos—it's the seventh year dorms loos, I keep my clothes in the closet in here  
  
Right...what to wear tomorrow. I have many things picked out. First...skirt or pants...hmm—good point. I only have my school skirts. Okay, so, pants...jeans, cargos, kakis, or cords? Jeans sound good. What color...black, blue, black, dark blue, midnight back, stone washed black or dark blue? How about dark blue, okay, that decided, straight leg or boot cut? Oh, boot cut, I hate straight leg...shoes...well, since I am wearing boot cut jeans, why not wear my combat boots? I haven't worn them in a while...that works. Okay, shirt. Oh, I am going to go ask Dan on this one...he is my boyfriend...  
  
Lily.

* * *

Later  
  
Well, Dan was no help, all he did was yell about how he has no clean boxer shorts, and then he saw me, he told me that I look wonderful in anything, and nothing makes me look fat, and then we made out. And today, he tasted like chocolate. It was nice.  
  
So, anyway, he told me to go ask Jay and Bray about that, so I did. I went over to their common room, dragging half my closet with me. I had to have one of the first years let me in, because I forgot their new password, and I wasn't going to dig trough my pockets for it, because I was trying to control the rolling cart that my clothes were on.  
  
I told Jay and Bray about the news, and they were very happy, they suggested that to celebrate, we go into Hogsmead, and get some butterbeer, and try not to get drunk. And then, I approached them with my dilemma. Jay said to just wear a black sweater, and Bray said she could design something for me. And then I said I would just pick out a shirt. That, itself, was a two-hour decision that forced us to have to eat dinner in the kitchens, because we missed eating in the Great Hall. But, in the end, wardrobe for tomorrow was chosen.  
  
I am wearing a black, form-fitting turtleneck sweater, with dark blue boot cut jeans, and combat boots. So, that's solved.  
  
So anyway...I don't know...I have to work on homework...and clean my dorm...mum's latest owl said that she was inspecting dorms...  
  
Lily.

* * *

Thanksgiving, 2:46 AM

My Dorms  
  
Okay, I couldn't sleep, and my dorm is trashed. Mum is going to kill me! Okay, so I was in the boy's dorm for a few hours making out with Dan...but who can blame me? I want to get full usage out of my boyfriend before he leaves me for some bimbo with a huge chest.  
  
Crap...I can't find my floor...its hidden under crap...what does my floor look like?

* * *

Later  
  
Had to ask what the floors looked like. The first years were not too happy about it. But, they were cleaning their dorms too, so, I don't see why they should hate me. The floors are supposed to be wood. Apparently, they are black, so what I thought was crap was actually my floor...odd really.  
  
I have to get some rest...I don't want to look dead in the morning.  
  
Lily

* * *

Morning

My Dorms  
  
Double crap. Its thanksgiving and I look dead. This is not good...okay, if I put lots of foundation...wait...one coat of foundation did the trick...okay, so now, to the eyeliner...and I need to find my other boot....  
  
Crap, boot has gone missing, must go look for boot...  
  
Oh, it was hidden under my bed...silly me. Okay, so, I am dressed...and I have a new bra on...okay, I smell good...dorms are clean, homework is done, I threw out all my bad marks, so mum thinks that I have been doing exceptionally well, I hid the note about my detentions...okay, I am good. Now, to breakfast.  
  
Lily.

* * *

Breakfast  
  
MUM CAME EARLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALONG WITH OUR ENTIRE FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* * *

Dedication: **Sunshine **

**Superreader **

**Elie**

** Ginnyweasley418**

** Jaessa**

** Anarane **

**Marah Weasley **

**Anji Harryronherm09 **

**Gonzy Rocks Blisters**

** Irgova**

** Chrislovercharmed**

** Lil-and-sarah**

** SiriusLives001**

** Prongs37**

** Waffleshouse**

** Artsigirl16**

** Oblivvy**

** Does it really matter**

** Phifa **

**Ana **

**Babybear089 **

**Allie**

** Blah Blah**

** Rial **

**Jlatmil1**

** VoldermortsIllegt.Child**

** Shirusee**

** Danny **

**Lightprincess **

**Loundnproud223 **

**Elenlaurelin  
**  
Thanky to all of you for reviewing! I know, I am at 67 reviews, and I promised to do this at fifty, but I have been much too lazy for my own good. So, please review and I will do this at 100 reviews.  
  
**NOTES:** I am answering some questions  
  
--Ginny acts like such a bitch, excuse my language, because that was how my mother was acting at the time. My mum was always bitching at me for stupid things, so, I just put it into the story. As one of my friends said, "It's your life told through different people!" While we were changing for gym.  
  
--I am so glad that you all can relate to the characters. They are based off of real people, except for the boys...I have no idea WHO they are based of off, seeing as most of the boys in my life are complete jerks.  
  
--I have NO idea what Dan's problem is...honestly, I don't. And for those of you who wanted more fighting...there is a bitch fight coming up in chapter 16. Now that is sort-of based off a bitch fight I happened to witness, an almost get pulled into, if I had not moved, because if I hadn't...I would have faced the same doom as the chair I was in...it got thrown to the other side of the room.  
  
--The Hillary Duff Club is in action, I will have a link provided in my bio for it. Please participate in it, it would mean so much to be, and the other person in this, it really would. Also, on the same page, we have lively discussions going on about weather Sirius is dead or not, book six, the new movie, and that is turning into me torturing this dude with the word "dude" and me posting a link to Tom Felton without a shirt. (Conveniently, this dude's user name is Draco, and he likes a married movie star. It's a long conversation, which I doubt that you all would not find funny.)  
  
Anyway, that's all I have to say, so PLEASE review!  
  
Thanky, Yours,  
  
Red


	13. A Thanksgiving From Hell, Literally

_

* * *

The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter  
Chapter Thirteen: A Thanksgiving From Hell, Literally  
_  
Authoress Note: You guys have NO idea how much fun I had writing this chapter. Honestly, I had the best time writing this. I started on plot ideas with my friends for this all the way back on May 21st! So anyway, I hope you all love this, as much as I do.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't think JKR would to this to Ron....  
  
**NOTE**: Check the end of the chapter for review replies!  
  
Dedication: To my very painful sunburn that I got at the baseball game on the 4th. But hey, my team won!

* * *

Thanksgiving  
  
Right, so, this is just going to be one whole long entry about thanksgiving.  
  
So, anyway, like I said, mum and the entire family came early.  
  
Me: Mum! What are you DOING here?  
  
Mum: Well, silly, I am here for thanksgiving of course! With the whole family!  
  
I looked behind her, and saw like, a mob of red hair. It was insane. I was like, NO! She did NOT bring the whole family. But she did. Sadly.  
  
Thousands of cousins: LILY!!!!!!!  
  
Me: Save me...  
  
Dad: (to mum) It's been so long. Do you want to go explore it again?  
  
Mum: (to dad) Sure! Lily, your father and I will be back by dinner.  
  
I swear that woman has been in too much of a good mood lately. I wonder what Dad has been doing to her.  
  
I DID NOT JUST THINK THAT! EWW! I DID! WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME??????  
  
My Family: LOTS OF COMMOTION  
  
The Student Body: Look at all that HAIR  
  
Me: Let me die. Let me die. God, why do you hate me? Buddha, what did I ever do to you?  
  
Dan: What is your whole family doing here?  
  
Me: (helplessly) I have no idea...  
  
Dan: Lets say that we get out of here.  
  
Me: Okay...  
  
Dan: I know a great spot that we can go...  
  
Well, the great spot was my dorms. And we made out. For THREE hours!!!!! But, we didn't do it. And that's okay. My boyfriend was nice enough to save me from my family for THREE HOURS!!!!!! I really do love him. So, anyway, after that, we went back down to the Great Hall. That was a disaster.  
  
Me: God, look at this place, it's swarming with people!  
  
Hermione: DAN! Oh baby! Sweet heart! How are you?  
  
Dan: Mum...  
  
Hermione: Lily! How are you dear?  
  
Me: Okay, I suppose.  
  
Draco: Well, that's good. Hermione, what muggle holiday are we here for?  
  
Hermione: Thanksgiving, dear. Thanksgiving.  
  
Draco: Oh, so that's what holiday this is!  
  
Dumbledore: Everyone! Please! Sit down at your family's table! Our feast is about to begin!  
  
Me: Oh dear lord. Save me.  
  
I ended up sitting next to my Uncle Ron. He was acting really odd, he was really shifty, and didn't like talking to Mum...anyway, so, we were all dishing ourselves tofu turkey, when the Great Hall doors burst open, and Bellatrix Lestrange ran in.  
  
Me: NO! CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE? WHY ARE YOU HERE?  
  
Dan: YOU! What do YOU want with me?  
  
Bellatrix: Nothing you idiot children. Now, sit down and eat your tofu turkey. Where is he...hmm.... oh, yes, there he is. DRACO!  
  
Draco: What?  
  
Bellatrix: Draco, you know how Death Eaters are not always that faithful...  
  
Draco: Yeah...  
  
Hermione: You bastard! (She slaps Draco.)  
  
Draco: What was that for?  
  
Hermione: You cheated on me!  
  
Draco: No I didn't.  
  
Hermione: Oh, okay.  
  
Bellatrix: And you know how there are sometimes consequences from cheating?  
  
Draco: Yeah...  
  
Hermione: You have a kid that's not mine? (Slaps Draco.)  
  
Draco: I didn't cheat on you woman! How can I have another child if I didn't cheat?  
  
Hermione: Oh, okay then.  
  
Bellatrix: Draco, you have a brother.  
  
Hermione: YOU HAVE A BROTHER? (Slaps Draco.) AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME? (Slaps him again)  
  
Draco: Will you stop slapping me?  
  
Hermione: Okay.  
  
Draco: Wait...I HAVE A BROTHER?  
  
Bellatrix: Yes, he is eighteen, and his name is Adonis. Adonis? Come here dear.  
  
And in walked the most handsome man I have ever seen. He looked even better than Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom combined. He was HOT and SEXY! I swear, half the girls in the hall fainted.  
  
Bray: He's hot. No wonder he's named Adonis...wow.  
  
Me: God, look at him. He is like, the picture of perfection!  
  
Dan and Drew: Hey!  
  
Mum: It's a shame he's much too young for me.  
  
Me: Mum! You're married!  
  
Mum: So, it doesn't mean I can't look!  
  
Dad: Ginny, please.  
  
Drew: MY UNCLE IS AS OLD AS ME! (Feints. Bray tries to give him mouth-to- mouth. He is revived.)  
  
Dan: You have a point...  
  
Ron: Well, since everyone is coming out of the closet, I have an announcement to make.  
  
Grand mum: Yes dear?  
  
Ron: Everyone, I am bisexual.  
  
Mum: Oh my God.  
  
Dad: RON!  
  
Me: Life really does hate me.  
  
Everyone else: (A stunned silence.)  
  
Dumbledore: Well, does anyone else need to come out of the closet?  
  
As soon as he said that, Jay and Sean fell out of the closet that is by the Head's table. They were snogging each other senseless, and Jay was missing a shoe.  
  
What does this tell you about my life? WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME? I MEAN, BY UNCLE IS BI FOR GOD'S SAKE! WHY IS IT THAT MY LIFE IS ALWAYS CRAP? WHY NOT SOMEBODY'S ELSE'S? WHY ME? WHY?  
  
I have to go find a way to hide from my house.  
  
Lily

* * *

End Notes: Well, there is Thanksgiving. I hoped you liked it.  
  
**REPLIES:  
**  
**SiriusLives001**: I totally agree with your penname...anyway, its Bill's daughter's daughter.  
  
**Superreader**: You said you wanted more fights? Well, here's a sneak peak at the future chapters.... or at least 15, 16, and 17.... there are two bitch fights coming up.  
  
**Ginnyweasley418**: You asked what Dan's problem was. I, myself, have no idea.  
  
**Prongs37:** Thanky for reading the authors notes.  
  
**To the person who asked where Ron is, and I am sorry, but I couldn't find your review**: Well, here's Ron!  
  
**MORE NOTES: SERIOUSLY READ THESE STORIES:  
**  
**THE JOURNAL OF JAESSA STARSLY**: A companion piece to this, wonderfully written and VERY realistic, if I do say so myself. My dear friend, whom the character Jay is based off of, wrote it.  
  
**(COMING SOON)  
**  
**Bray's Diary**: This is not posted, and I have NO idea when Sunshine is going to post it, but this is Bray's diary.  
  
I STRONGLY—NO—I, AS THE AUTHOR AM DEMANDING THAT YOU READ OR LOOK OUT FOR THESE STORIES! I WILL OF COURSE HAVE THEM BOOK MARKED IN MY ACCOUNT.  
  
**ALSO:  
**  
THE _**UNOFFICAL "I HATE HILLARY DUFF CLUB"**_ HAS BEEN FORMED. YOU ARE ALL WELCOMED TO JOIN! BY JUST REPLYING TO THE POST YOU BECOME A MEMBER! AND A BIG THANKY TO ALL WHO HAS JOINED, AND THEN BECOME MEMBERS OF THE SITE!  
  
And please, review.  
  
Thanky,  
  
Red


	14. The Closet Speaks

_ The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter  
Chapter Fourteen: The Closet Speaks  
_  
Authoress Note: Well, my dear minions—I mean readers, I am going to the ocean for a week! So...that means no new chapters next week. But, if you all are good, and I can reach 100 reviews by the time I get back, you'll get a double post! Yes, just like when we broke 50!  
  
Disclaimer: Yes, I know, the bank account does not reflect what it should—my future ownership if Harry Potter and friends, or really in some cases, foes. But alas, that's not going to happen anytime soon.  
  
Dedication: To the dude in my life, excluding those, which are members of my family, of course, who was evil to me. And you know who you are...traitor! There is a reason he is a traitor, but we shall not get into this.

* * *

Still this horrid holiday, 11:23 PM  
  
Underneath the stairs  
  
Does my family even care about how I feel? I mean, Ron could have come out of the closet at Christmas; he didn't have to come out of the closet at a holiday that THE WHOLE SCHOOL IS AT! Honestly, I know that my family has punctuality and originality, but really, this was too much. First, they come at breakfast. Then Ron decides that he is bi. How more screwed up can my life get?  
  
Oh, and get this diary, apparently, Jay and Sean were talking about the real meaning of Eager Allen Poe's poem, "The Raven," and they then agreed to agree to disagree, and then Jay got mad, because they had just agreed on something, and then they both agreed on that, and then Jay said that wasn't right, because they were agreeing about something. I don't get it either, but then, Sean decided to kiss her to make her shut up, and so she was pressed up against the door, and the door opened for no good reason.  
  
I ask you, who talks about anything that doesn't involve snogging in a BROOM CLOSET? I mean, they were talking about POETRY of all things! Maybe my friends really have lost it. And then Bray just looked at me and went,  
  
"Well, Draco's brother is still hot."  
  
Okay, HER SISTER JUST FELL OUT OF A BROOM CLOSET! WITH A GUY! Okay, granted, it was her boyfriend, but still. And then Drew goes, "Well, what about me?"  
  
And then Bray says, "I still love you dear. But you have to admit that he IS good-looking."  
  
Then Ron goes, "Yeah, he sure has something going for him." And then everyone just looked at him. "What?" He asked, "He does!" And Adonis was just sitting there, looking drop-dead-gorgeous.  
  
"Yes," Ron's boyfriend, Hershel, or something like that, I don't know, he looks like Owen Wilson in "Zoolander," said, "He most certainly does."  
  
"You can't deny him that." Ron's girlfriend, Lexy-Lyla Hilton- Heffner intoned.  
  
I was like, someone; put a steak knife through my heart. Please. Someone! I will forever be known as "The Girl With The Bi Uncle." And then people will walk through the halls, and when they see me, they will whisper, "I wonder if SHE'S bi, too?"  
  
I cannot live life like that. That's horrible. Anyway, I ran back to my dorms, threw off my clothes, and put on James's seeker shirt that I stole from him, and my black cargos, and put on Keri Noble, and I am just sitting here, writing. Honestly, today is easily the worst day of my life. Seriously, I have never faced anything else so...horrible. I just want to die.  
  
Ron just walked in; he wants to talk. I ask you this. WHY?  
  
Lily

* * *

Later, 2:25 AM

The Common Room  
  
Well, this is what my conversation with Ron was like:  
  
Me: What the hell do you want?  
  
Ron: Does your mother care that you swear that much?  
  
Me: She never hears me.  
  
Ron: Oh.  
  
Ron and me: SILENCE  
  
Me: You wanted to talk?  
  
Ron: Oh...yeah...about that... Is that you're dad's shirt?  
  
Me: No, it's James's.  
  
Ron: Oh, because your dad used to play seeker.  
  
Me: Yeah, I know. James used to wear it in second year, before he grew. When he did, I stole the shirt.  
  
Ron: Oh.  
  
Me: This isn't what you wanted to talk about, is it?  
  
Ron: No.  
  
Me: So, you're...bi?  
  
Ron: Yeah.  
  
Me: When did you find that out?  
  
Ron: A few years ago.  
  
Me: Oh.  
  
Ron: That's sort-of what I wanted to talk to you about.  
  
Me: Really?  
  
Ron: Well, yeah. You have always been my favorite niece.  
  
Me: That's nice to know.  
  
Ron: And that's because...well, I don't know why, but I always liked you better than the others. Maybe it's because you were never so in-your-face like the others...and maybe the fact that you have different tastes from everyone else.  
  
Me: Is there a point to this?  
  
Ron: I think so.  
  
Me: Right. So, what is the point of this?  
  
Ron: I want to talk to you.  
  
Me: Like...bonding?  
  
Ron: If you want to call it that.  
  
Me: But...why me? Why not someone else?  
  
Ron: I already told you, because we are both different.  
  
Me: Right.  
  
Ron: Yeah...so, what's going on in your life?  
  
Me: Well, you see...  
  
And then I launched into a full-blown account of my school year so far. And I mean I talked about EVERYTHING.  
  
Me: And then, I kissed him, and said, 'Take it or leave it.'  
  
Ron: And what did he do?  
  
Me: He found me in a broom closet writing, and then he said, 'Take it.' And we snogged for so long, we were late to Transfiguration.  
  
Ron: Umm-hum.  
  
Me: And then...  
  
And that's how the whole thing went. And Ron told me everything that has been going on in his life. It was a pretty long talk, but I really did feel better after that.  
  
Anyhow, "Interview of The Vampire," is calling, and I can't turn down a good vampire story.  
  
Lily

* * *

End notes:**_HOW TO BECOME A MEMBER OF THE UNOFFICAL 'I HATE HILLARY DUFF CLUB'  
_  
1.The only requirement is that you should probably find some flaw in society, and of course, strongly dislike Hillary Duff. **

**2.Click on my penname, found at the top of this page. **

**3.You then, will find, that my bio is completely made up of instructions on how top join this elite club. **

**4.Follow those directions, and you will be on your way to becoming a member. **

**5.PLEASE REVIEW!  
**  
Thanky, and as always, remember my goal. I have 89 reviews right now; I only need 11 more!  
  
Red


	15. And The Diary Is Stolen

_ The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter  
Chapter Fifteen: And The Diary Is Stolen  
  
_Authoress Note: I would like to thank my two best friends for writing part of this for me, because honestly, if they had not helped me, I would still be writing the first word.  
  
I AM ALSO VERY SORRY ABOUT THE GRAMMER USE IN THIS STORY, APPARENTLY WHEN TWO PEOPLE IM EACH OTHER, THEY HAVE NO CONCEPT OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE...  
  
Dedication: This is to Liza and C; you guys are the real Jay and Bray (In more ways than one!)  
  
Disclaimer: Nope. Not mine. Well, the plot and OC characters are, but other than that, nope.

* * *

December 1st, 5:56 AM 

The Great Hall, listening to Sum 41  
  
I am the laughing stock of the school. Honestly, people just look at me, and they start laughing. I am SO tired of it. I can't sleep; I am too...screwed up to sleep. I barely eat; I just look at food and I want to run away from it. So, I am taking this as further proof that life hates me, and I am just a waste of human space. God could put someone more...productive in my place. Instead, he put me.  
  
And then Ron had his "bonding" time with me, in which I told him everything. Honestly, I even told him about the irregularity of my period, which had come a week early. You know what he said? He said that my "hormones are horribly out of whack due to the traumatic things that have happened to me, such as living in a bathroom for two days. He doesn't even count the whole deal with Lucius as traumatic, because apparently, "The old bugger had it coming for him,"—Ron's words, not mine. But, it felt nice to talk to someone who does not always think with his sexual urges.  
  
Erlack, I want to go sleep, and people might come in soon and start laughing.  
  
Lily

* * *

_**December 1st, 10:23 PM **_

_**A Closet...  
**_  
_Jay: Italics  
_**Bray: Bold  
**_ so, bray, what do you think of Lily and Dan  
_  
**they're really cute together....  
  
aww  
**  
_ you think she's obsessed though?  
_  
**dead serious totally  
**  
_ so...do you think we should talk to her?  
  
maybe give her 'the talk'?  
_  
**And you and....Sean....borderline obsession?  
**  
_ no...just totally in love with one another! what about you and Drew hon?  
_  
** giggles no comment  
  
:-D  
  
**_ so..'the talk' for lily?  
_  
** hm...with all those brothers she has...probably  
  
**_ no! not that talk..well, that talk too...the talk about her obsession over a boy  
_  
**oops...  
  
ok  
**  
_so, bray...why are we sitting in our clothes closet talking about this?  
_  
**Jay jay...I honestly don't know  
  
**_ well, you brought me in here! are we locked in?_

****

** oh...giggles oops  
  
Anyway while we're here  
**  
_ do you have your wand with you hon?_

_what now?  
_  
** what do you think of Drew? From a sisterly view point  
**  
_ umm...you and drew scarred me for life! but he is really awesome. perfect for you, from the looks of it! why?  
  
_** Well...he telling me about this totally weird divination class he had  
**  
_ yes?  
_  
** And trelawney went all loco on him and started talking about me  
  
some sort of prophecy about how he shouldn't let me go...how I was perfect for him...  
  
it was one of the strangest things I've ever heard  
**  
_ yeah, i heard about that from sean.  
  
freaky, aint it? i hope she doesn't prophesize about me  
  
_** scary, no?  
**  
_ very  
_

****

** still cool though  
**  
_ sure...can we get the door unlocked now? i want to see somebody  
_  
** He told me he had no intention of leaving me anyway...how sweet....aw  
**  
** big date?  
  
wink wink  
**  
_ no! of course Not!  
_  
** no more falling out of closets  
**  
_ BRAY! you said you wouldnt say anything!  
_  
** or I might have to give you the talk  
  
wink luv ya  
**  
_ Bray! we taught ourselves the talk  
  
you know that  
_  
** I know...just messing with you  
  
**_ i know. i love you too...  
  
_** don't get your knickers in a twist  
  
**_ hey! can we please get out of here? i have a strange craving for blood_

_  
_** we need to have more of these sister talks more often**

** you too, huh?**

** alright... alohomora**

__

_ yup...and we shouldn't drink the other's blood like last time_

_  
_** Yeah yeah, ok...door opens  
**  
_ thanks!  
  
_** talk later?  
**  
_ hey! isn't that my wand?  
_  
**well...umm....no...? **

****

* * *

****

**Authoress Note: You have no idea how long it took me to stort out the last bit. I had to take an IM conversation, and, well, un-IM it. It took a long time. Anyway...i can't sleep, I'm still running on West Coast time. And I live in the east. It sucks. Anyway, there's another chappy comming, and if I'm not mistaken, that's the chapter that had my critics/betas/muses/co-authors saying they hated me for that chapter...or was it seventeen? Its probally seventeen, but I suppose you will just have to wait and see, won't you?**

****

**Review,**

**Red**


	16. Twenty Reasons Why Not to Start a Bitch ...

_ The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter  
Chapter Sixteen: Twenty Reasons Why Not to Start a Bitch Fight  
_

Authoress Note: Okay, so this wasn't the chapter I thought it was. And that's good for you guys!

Dedication: To my reviewers. I hit 100, and the minutes I saw that, I jumped up, and started screaming, "YES, YES, YES, YES!!!" In the hotel room. I think the neighbors got the wrong idea…anyway….

Disclaimer: Would JKR allow herself to live in an airport for two days? The answer is no.

* * *

December 3rd, 2:54 AM 

My Dorms, listening to Linkin Park  
  
I am never letting you leave my side. Honestly, I leave you in the Great Hall one day by accident, and my best friends find you and write in you. That is insanely cruel. Anyway, I desperately need to start thinking about Christmas, and what I am going to get people. Like my boyfriend. What do you get your boyfriend? I myself do not know, because I have never had a boyfriend before.  
  
Oh well, I have some new news. Hey, that's funny! New news...he, he, he, it's the same word, only one has a's' on the end! Okay, I am easily amused...don't blame me. Anyway, you know how I got new bras like, two weeks ago? Well, they don't fit anymore! They grew again! I am like, why do my boobs pick NOW to grow? Does evolution REALLY hate me? Oh well, maybe I am FINALLY inheriting my mum's boobs...I was doing laundry over the summer, and I saw that she wear size 48 DD. I wouldn't mind that. That would be nice. But like, my bras REALLY don't fit. I just put one on, and they popped out. THIS IS SERIOUS! I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR NOW! WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO? DUCK TAPE MY BREASTS DOWN UNTIL I CAN GET NEW BRAS??????? This is just further proof that my life hates me.  
  
Lily

* * *

Same day, 6:34 AM 

My Dorms  
  
Crap, you can see the duck tape through my shirt...and really, it's much too hot in the castle to wear my robes closed...maybe if I wear my one tank with the built-in bra...would that work...hark! I have found my swimsuit top! I have no idea why I got a bikini top, but it looked appealing, even if it was a tad big...oh! And it fits! I can wear this for a bit, until I can go shopping again.  
  
Oh my God, someone just came in here!

* * *

Later 

Same spot  
  
IT WAS DAN! HE SOMEHOW GOT UP HERE, AND CAME IN, AND SAW ME IN MY BIKINI TOP! OH GOD! IT WAS SOOOOOO EMBARESSING.  
  
Oh well, at least he knows I have breasts now. Wait! I did NOT just write that. Oh well, its true though. And he shares a dorm with my brothers, so I doubt he'll say anything. Oh well, I have to go down to breakfast and face another day of embarrassment...sigh.  
  
Well, on the bright side, my boyfriend knows I have breasts. But the down side is that the school still hasn't gotten over what happened on Thanksgiving. But I must go on. I will not let this get me down.  
  
Lily.

* * *

Later 

Transfiguration  
  
Jay and Bray pulled me over; I seemed have to forgotten the little detail that my bikini is BLACK! And the school shirts are a lovely shade of see-through WHITE! WHY GOD, WHY?  
  
Lily

* * *

Same Day, 8:41 PM 

The common Room  
  
Asked McGonagall if I could pop into Hogsmead for a trip. She wanted to know, so I told her. She said—after a bit of laughing on her part, I might add—that yes, I could go. IN FIVE DAYS! WHY DID TODAY HAVE TO BE A MONDAY! I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL SATURDAY! I HAVE TO WEAR A BLACK BIKINI TOP FOR FIVE DAYS! This is stupid. My whole life is stupid. Why did I have to have the stupid life? Why?  
  
Lily

* * *

Two minutes later  
  
Just talked to James, I am the one with the stupid life. Apparently, he and Sirius have started down a count down to Christmas, and as of today, he has thirty offers from people to come over to their house for Christmas Parties. This only furthers the fact that I have no social life, as the only Christmas Party invitation I have gotten was from mum, and that doesn't count, because she is my mother, and therefore HAS to ask me to spend Christmas with her.  
  
Well, now that I think about it, she really doesn't HAVE to ask me to spend Christmas with her, and she is only asking me, because it would otherwise be unethical. And heaven knows Mum would never want to be unethical. But she happens to be just that, seeing as she has been married for twenty years, and still uses protection. But, then again, she doesn't go around proclaiming THAT fact to the world, so I suppose that there is no problem with that.  
  
Anyway, Sirius just walked in, and is screaming about how the fact that Ron is bi had effected his sex life, because he has red hair, and bears a resemblance to that side of the family, unlike James, who looks like an exact duplicate of Dad. Right...well, that's what he said, not me. And now, James is thanking Sirius profoundly for saying such wonderful things about him. Oh god, I have to tell you what James said.  
  
James: I would like to thank you, Sirius Arthur Potter, for saying that I, James Harry Potter, am the exact duplicate of our highly esteemed father, Harry James Potter. But, in fact Sirius, you forgot to mention something. I, in fact, have brown eyes, and no lightening bolt scar on my forehead. Therefore, you would be correct to say that I look like the original James Potter, my namesake. The entrancing emerald green eyes would belong to my dear sister, Lily Audrey Potter. Lily, if you would please rise.  
  
Honestly, he is SO conceited. But then again, this is the first time I have ever heard him say ANYTHING remotely intelligent.  
  
James: Lily, please, rise dearest sister. You are my favorite sister.  
  
Me: I am your only sister, you dolt.  
  
Sirius: She has you there mate.  
  
Me: Yes, I do.  
  
James: Oh shut up you two, honestly, this is not a contest!  
  
Sirius: Lily, remember when we where five, and we would tackle James?  
  
Me: Yes, it's such a pity Remus isn't here, though.  
  
Sirius: Lets relive our childhood Lily.  
  
Me: Yes, lets.  
  
And then, we tackled James. It was really funny. Or, at least I thought it was. James was bitch slapping me, when Dan walked in, and saw us bitch slapping each other, and panicked. He started yelling, and then Sirius grabbed his ankle, making him fall on top of us, and then she started bitch-slapping Sirius, and then McGonagall walked in.  
  
McGonagall: Mr. Potter, Mr. Potter, Miss Potter, and Mr. Malfoy! What are you doing?  
  
Sirius: Why, we are bitch slapping each other, Professor!  
  
Me: Hey! Don't swear in front of teachers!  
  
James: Well, actually Lily, the word 'bitch' has five letters. For a word to be a swear word, it has to be four letters. Hence the phrase, "four lettered words."  
  
Dan: He has a point.  
  
McGonagall: I don't care! Fighting is against the rules! Detention for all of you!  
  
Yes, see? My life IS crap!  
  
Lily 

* * *

One hour later 

Detention  
  
Apparently, Sinistra didn't have class tonight, so here I am, sitting in detention. Our task: Make a list of Twenty Reasons Why Not to Start a Bitch Fight.  
  
This is my list  
  
_ Twenty Reasons Why Not to Start a Bitch Fight  
Yet Another List by Lily Potter  
__20.Bitch fights hurt  
  
19.It's against school rules  
  
18.You will most likely get caught  
  
17.It sets a bad example for the younger years  
  
16.Your boyfriend might get the wrong idea, and try to save you.  
  
15.By trying to save you, your boyfriend might get involved in the bitch fight.  
  
14.Guys should not be having bitch fights. It questions their masculinity. If men are involved, it should be called a Bastard Fight.  
  
13.You might lose some hair.  
  
12.You will most likely end up with a huge red mark on your face from getting bitch slapped by your brother, who is a beater.  
  
11.You can get rug burn.  
  
10.The howler in the morning isn't the best thing to wake up to.  
  
9.You will most likely end up in detention, writing a list on why not to start a bitch fight.  
  
8.Because of said detention, you will have to finish essay for Potions at one in the morning, after unsuccessfully bribing your boyfriend to let you borrow his, because he is too strong willed, and in charge of his hormones for his own good.  
  
7.After the fight is completed, you end up receiving dirty looks from the others involved.  
  
6.Guys have a mean right hook. It hurts when they ditch the term "bitch fight," and turn it into boxing.  
  
5.You end up not being able to listen to New Found Glory before bed.  
  
4.When the headmaster hears of this fight, he starts choking on the peanut he was eating, turns blue, and falls on the floor, and when you try to summon the peanut, you accidentally banish it, and the peanut successfully finds its way to the headmasters stomach.  
  
3.Said headmaster stands up, thanks you, and then convulses into another laughing fit, and falls on the floor—still hysterically laughing.  
  
2.The Minister of Magic, who happens to be your grandfather, is in the room at that moment, and floo's the families of those involved, and lets them know of what has taken place. Your Uncle Bill laughs so hard at this news, he falls into the fireplace, and is punctually transported to the office.  
  
1.The number one reason you should never start a bitch fight:  
  
They will always continue in detention. _

* * *

End Notations: Thanky for reading, and I hope you all enjoyed this double post. I know that this was my favorite chapter to write, and I hope you all loved it too. Oh, and one more thing. If this is not how bitch fights that any of you have seen or participated in gone down, well, in my experience that was how they happened. And in the most dangerous one, I almost got thrown across the room. Luckily, only my chair did. It was funny, though.

Review,

Red


	17. My Life As A Rubber Duck

_ The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter  
Chapter Seventeen: My Life As A Rubber Duck  
_  
Authoress Note: Once again, you readers come out the lucky ones; the horrible event comes in the next chapter.  
  
Disclaimer: Would someone who is your hero give you their characters for ten bucks?  
  
Dedication: To all the people who have replied to the "I Hate Hillary Duff Club"

* * *

I have no idea what time it is 

Locked in a potions classroom  
  
Okay, how is it that I get locked in everything? And I wouldn't have gotten involved in THIS bitch fight, if Sirius hadn't grabbed my arm for support, and I slapped him, and then James ran to his rescue, as they were going against Dan, and then Dan came over and punched Sirius and slapped James across the jaw, and so then I pulled Dan's hair, and he pulled mine, and then Drew walked in, saw us, and hit Dan in the balls, and ran out of the room.  
  
Then, James hit Sirius where the sun doesn't shine, and then Sirius fell over in pain, bringing me with him, and then I landed on top of Dan. Then Dan saw how close we were, and started making out with me.  
  
Honestly! It wasn't my fault!  
  
And then, Sirius saw us through his tears of pain, kicked James in the shin, James saw us, and then grabbed Sirius by the hair, and dragged him out of the room, leaving Dan and myself alone to make out. I suppose my brothers got caught, and then Dumbledore, with Snape, and saw Dan and I, (Dan's tie was mysteriously on the other side of the room, and my shoes where on Snape's head)  
  
Snape started screaming, and said that all of us would be locked in different dungeons, and spends twenty-four hours in them.  
  
Locked in potions classrooms for a whole day. And it had started snowing at that moment.  
  
Then Dumbledore said, "Very well Severus. You have every right to punish them as you see fit, seeing as you are the new Deputy Headmaster."  
  
"What?" Snape asked.  
  
"Yes. I have decided to take a...little...vacation, if you will, to Zaire."  
  
"...To what?"  
  
"To Zaire, it's a small African island where everyone wear's lambs ear. A very refreshing plant to wear I hear."  
  
"Albus, remember the last time you left? The youngest Weasley was taken to the chamber! And the year before that, when you left, Potter almost died, and then when you left when I went to school here—"  
  
"I know, I know. But I am an old man, and need my time alone. Minnie already knows, so have fun!" And he left. Seriously, Dumbledore just upped and left! Snape just stood there, doing nothing, for like, ten minutes. Then he snapped out of his daze, and started yelling, and locked the four of us in different classrooms. For a whole day! And there are NO windows! And we have NO source of light, and God, WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO HAPPEN TO ME?????????????

* * *

Hour one of being locked in a potions classroom  
  
It's really cold down here. And there is no fire to warm myself with...just bleak coldness, and darkness. Yes, I don't think that the darkness ends...  
  
Lily

* * *

Hour two of being locked in a potions classroom  
  
I can hear water...and I am probably missing the lines, because I can't see the paper...I think Snape has enlisted in help from the Chinese, and they are doing their infamous Chinese Water Torture...THE DRIPPING WON'T STOP!!!  
  
Lily

* * *

Hour three of being locked in a potions classroom  
  
The dipping will not stop...I tried to find the source of it...but that was hopeless. My boots are wet, I can feel it through my "I Recycle Boys" socks...God, that's cold...I want a new pair of socks...these are wet...and they are cold and it's bothering me...I hate this...  
  
Lily

* * *

Hour four of being locked in a potions classroom  
  
Just thought of something. If McGonagall is Headmistress, than who is teaching Transfiguration? I mean she can't do both, can she? I dunno, with my luck, my mum will be teaching it. That would be horrible! Because then, when we get into bitch fights...we will have no hope, because our parents would be here, and Dad will probably go with Mum because he hasn't been on a mission for a while...  
  
Lily

* * *

Hour five of being locked in a potions classroom  
  
I figured out Mum and Dad's age. Mum was twenty when we were born, so that would put Dad at twenty-one. I am currently seventeen, so Mum is thirty-seven, and Dad is thirty-eight. God, they are young. Like...I will be...twenty when Mum turns forty...wow...and I thought they were old...  
  
Lily

* * *

Hour six of being locked in a potions classroom  
  
Wouldn't the school notice by now that we are gone? I mean, surely its time for breakfast, and if Jay and Bray don't see me at breakfast, they usually go up to my dorm to search for me...hmm...this is most interesting...  
  
Lily

* * *

Hour seven of being locked in a potions classroom  
  
I have a Linkin Park song stuck in my head. The song is "One Step Closer," and I have no idea why the song chose NOW of all times to get stuck in my head. In other news, it started snowing in this dungeon, and the water froze over. This really sucks.  
  
Lily

* * *

Hour eight of being locked in a potions classroom  
  
I wonder if Hillary Duff's breasts are real...I mean, for a girl that skinny, they are quite large...and it would be quite easy for a girl like her to have a little nip or tuck there...  
  
Lily

* * *

Hour nine of being locked in a potions classroom  
  
I wonder if my breasts would ever get that large...I mean, that would be nice, although through some horrible event, Dan HAS discovered that I have them.  
  
Lily

* * *

Hour ten of being locked in a potions classroom  
  
I wonder what the mental state was of the man who invented the word "noodle" was, because it's a dead funny word. I started yelling the word "noodle" and fell over laughing.  
  
Lily

* * *

Hour eleven of being locked in a potions classroom  
  
I just thought of a joke.  
  
A banana comes up to a cookie. "What are you?" He asks.  
  
"A cookie," The cookie replies.  
  
"What's your name, cookie?" The banana asks.  
  
"Ahh...Chewy!" The cookie says.  
  
Then all the other foods around them say, "Bless you!"  
  
I fell over laughing. I really AM board if I am coming up with this crap.  
  
Lily

* * *

Hour twelve of being locked in a potions classroom  
  
If Dumbledore were going to an African island, wouldn't he get sun burned? I mean, his birthday is December 11th, and Mum always makes me get him something, so maybe I can give him the customary socks, and then sun burn lotion! He would like that. What color socks should I give him, though? Hmm...what about giving him five pairs of socks! That would work...as for their color...how about wild strawberry, macaroni and cheese yellow, wisteria, tumbleweed, and chartreuse. That would work! And then, I can get him toe socks for the other two days! Okay! This works!  
  
Lily

* * *

Hour thirteen of being locked in a potions classroom  
  
But really, if Hillary Duff's boobs WERE fake, wouldn't someone realize that? We should get Fred Durst to go in and investigate like he did with Britney Spears. That saved the world whole cahoots of trouble.  
  
But, what if they are real? I mean, that is always possible...even if I don't want to think that it is...well, they could, and then a lot of the boys in fifth year would be out of gallons, seeing as they have a bet on the fact...  
  
Lily

* * *

Hour fifteen of being locked in a potions classroom  
  
Why am I talking about some chick's breasts? Am I really THAT board?  
  
Lily

* * *

Hour sixteen of being locked in a potions classroom  
  
Yes.  
  
Lily

* * *

Hour seventeen of being locked in a potions classroom  
  
I can't feel my toe...is this supposed to happen?  
  
Lily

* * *

Hour eighteen of being locked in a potions classroom  
  
I just felt my hair, it feels like ice. WHAT HAS HERBAL ESSENCES DONE TO MY HAIR?!?!?! THIS IS NOT AN ORGANIC EXPERIENCE! THIS IS FAR FROM ORGANIC! THIS IS CHILLING AND SCARY! I HATE MY LIFE!  
  
Lily

* * *

Hour nineteen of being locked in a potions classroom  
  
Okay, I don't hate MY life per-say, I just strongly dislike it.  
  
Lily

* * *

Hour twenty of being locked in a potions classroom  
  
Hate is such a strong word, isn't it?  
  
Lily

* * *

Hour twenty-one of being locked in a potions classroom  
  
I think I have gone insane. So far, I have managed to talk about Hillary Duff's breasts, my breasts, what to get Dumbledore for his birthday, Chinese Water Torture, McGonagall and Snape, Dumbledore getting sun burned, ice, snow, my hair, Linkin Park, a cookie joke, noodles, breakfast, my boyfriend, and hate. Something is wrong with me.  
  
Lily

* * *

Hour twenty-two of being locked in a potions classroom  
  
Only two more hours...  
  
Lily

* * *

Hour twenty-three of being locked in a potions classroom  
  
I should publish this diary, and I shall call it, "The Mumblings of an Idiot." Or possibly, "The Inquiries of an Insane Red-Head." Or, I could call it, "The Punk That Wrote." Or I might entitle it, "The Ramblings of a Potter," Mum would love that one. How about, "My Life as a Rubber Duck." Okay, so that was weird...Oh! "The Girl Who Wore Black," that sounds good. Or, "The Misshapen: Their Story." Okay, so it's only really about one person, but still...I could title it, "The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter," I like that one. It's better than, "My Life as a Rubber Duck..."  
  
Lily

* * *

Hour twenty-four of being locked in a potions classroom  
  
I SEE LIGHT! 

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

AND IT REALLY HURTS MY EYES!

* * *

End Interpretation: Thanky to all the reviewers, you make my days better.  
  
Please Review  
  
_Faithfully writing, _

_Red _


	18. Carousel

_ The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter  
Chapter Eighteen: Carousel  
_  
Authoress Note: Don't ask me why I am posting this, I was fully ready to not post this and the next ten chapters...anyway, here is the dreaded chapter...  
  
Please check the bottom for answered reviewer questions.  
  
Dedication: To anyone who doesn't want to kill me after this chapter  
  
Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JKR, and the song belongs to Blink 182, a wonderful band.

* * *

December 3rd, 2:56 PM 

The hospital wing  
  
I am in the hospital wing, again. I swear I do everything that would land someone in the hospital. I need to change my life style. I should only wear black, eat only hamburgers, and spend my time studying. There, that is a non-injury life style. Only, I already wear black, and studying DOES get boring after a while...  
  
Lily

* * *

Two minutes later  
  
** Dan just sent me a note. This is what it says:  
  
Lily—  
  
I know I haven't sent you a note in FOREVER. But, as you are my girlfriend, I really don't need to...anyway, I just heard this song, and I am writing it here, because I am really board.  
  
I talk to you every now and then**

** I never felt so alone again**

** I stop to think at a wishing well **

**My thoughts send me on a carousel  
  
Here I am standing on my own**

** Not a motion from the telephone **

**I know not a reason why **

**Solitudes a reason to die  
  
Just you wait and see**

** As school life is a **

**It is a woken dream **

**Aren't you feeling alone?  
  
I guess it's just another**

** I guess it's just another **

**I guess it's just another night alone  
  
Now as I walk down the street **

**I need a job just to sleep in sheets**

** Buying food once in a while**

** But not enough to purchase a smile  
  
A tank of gas is a treasure to me**

** I know that nothing is free **

**I talk to you every now and then  
  
Well, I guess this is growing up  
  
I heard that song, and I thought of you. I have no idea, but I did. And Lily, I have something really important to tell you. I don't want to, but I have to. It's for the best of both of us. Lily, we need to break up. It's really for the best, because I have no idea where life is going to take me, and I know that you are lost, and I think that I need to give you space, because—well, you need to find out who you are. And I need to do that too.  
  
So, all I am asking you to do is give me space, and I will give you yours, and we can try to work things out and see what we have between us.  
  
Dan

* * *

**End Quotes: I know you all want to chase after me with pitchforks, and stab me in the toes. I had enough stuff coming from one of my critics, she is still angry with me about this one.  
  
**Questions and Answers:  
**  
**Question:** Where do you come up with this?  
  
**Answer: **Well, when IM-ing people, I might ask them, name things that bug you. Or other times, I'll just think up stupid things. I really have no idea.  
  
**Question:** ROFL! But, um, Zaire is actually the former name of the Democratic Republic of the Congo, a land-locked country in central Africa. Did you mean Madagascar? (Okay, so it really wasn't a question)  
  
**Answer:** Um, I asked a friend for the name of an African country, and that's what she gave me. I asked her if it was an island, and she didn't know, and I am horrible with maps, so, I'm sorry. And what Dumbledore said about wearing the flowers...I made that up. Unless they really do that....  
  
**Question:** I want to join the I HATE HILLARY DUFF CLUB!  
  
**Answer:** Once again, check my bio with instructions on how.  
  
Okay...so. Now you can all review and tell me how much you hate me for the short chapter and what happened in it.  
  
**_IMPORTANT NOTE:  
  
Okay, I am about to cry because now this site hates me too. Anyway, updates might take a while; I have TONS of stuff going on, and no will to write. _**


	19. The Soundtrack To Breakups

_ The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter  
Chapter Nineteen: The Soundtrack to Breakups  
_  
Authors Note: I've got nothing to say.  
  
Disclaimer: Okay, here is the deal. I have NO money. So, if I say, I don't own Harry Potter, please believe me. And plot ideas are free, so I own that!!! Don't try to steal the plot, because I will sue a dollar for every review if you try to steal it. Not really, I'm scared of the legal system.  
  
Dedication: To my future beta, whoever that might be.

* * *

I don't give a shit about the time 

Why do you care?  
  
He broke up with me. HE BROKE UP WITH ME! God, I hate my life. I got the note, and ran out of the wing. Madam what's-her-name started yelling, but I didn't listen. I just ran, clutching the letter, tears pouring out of my eyes. It was in the middle of class, but I didn't go. I just ran up to my room, and sobbed into my pillows. I feel like shit, and I don't want to get up.  
  
I CARED SO MUCH ABOUT THAT BASTARD, AND THEN HE DOES THIS TO ME! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM!  
  
Okay, I don't hate him, I am hopelessly in love with him, and he hates me, and doesn't want me, and I can't live my life anymore. I mean, what's the point? Nearly everyone hates me! I mean, the man I have spent my life pining after has all but killed me, and I spend my time talking to a book. What kind of life am I living? So, from this day on, I am not writing in this.  
  
Goodbye,

Lily

* * *

December 11th, 6:54 PM 

The Great Hall  
  
I have stayed in my room for a whole week, before Jay and Bray stormed up, and demanded to know what was wrong. So I showed them the note. And the first thing Bray said was, "Well, he's a bastard." And then Jay said,  
  
"I thought he was nice?"  
  
I swear, I have the most amazing friends, but they can be a bit...dense at times. Really, they can.  
  
"Yeah...but now...oh, I don't know!" I cried.  
  
"Well, maybe he was a bad choice. You know, there are other guys out there." Jay said.  
  
"Yeah, and who knows, you just might find you're Drew..." Bray intoned.  
  
"Can you like, not talk about your perfect romances right now? It just makes me feel like worse shit." I said.  
  
Okay, there just getting plain hard to write like this, so I'll write like I do most dialogs.  
  
Bray: Okay.  
  
Jay: So, he just gave you—this, and it was over?  
  
Me: Yeah, he did, and that was that.  
  
Jay: What an ass hole.  
  
Me: Yeah.  
  
Bray: Then...if he was an ass hole, then, why are you really upset about this?  
  
Me: Because I loved the damn man! And then, he just does this! How would you feel?  
  
Jay: Good point. And you have been spending WAY too much time in here. Lil, you have earned yourself a whole week of detention, and you were supposed to be going shopping today.  
  
Me: Yeah...  
  
Bray: So, get dressed, you are going to Hogsmead. And we are getting trashed.  
  
Jay: No we aren't!  
  
Bray: Yes, we are.  
  
Jay: No.  
  
Bray: Yes.  
  
Jay: No.  
  
Bray: Yes.  
  
Me: Okay! I'll go, and I can get trashed, but you two can't, happy?  
  
Jay and Bray: Fine.  
  
Me: Okay. Fine, maybe getting trashed will make me feel better...  
  
So I got dressed, in black mind you, as I am mourning my dead relationship, and we headed off to Hogsmead, so I could get measured for new bras. Well, I am no longer a C. I am size 40D. I, apparently, have no concept of how to wear a bra, and there for have been wearing bras that are much too small for AGES. Well, that's news to me. Anyway, then we went to the Hogs Head, and got me trashed...and then, I don't remember much after that. But it still didn't help the fact that I am insanely depressed. In fact, at today's peer counseling, I broke down, and told this poor sixth year my guy troubles. And you know what she said? She said I don't know how to have a relationship, because if all we did was make out, then we didn't do anything to further the relationship. In fact, I don't think we went on a date. I spent so much time writing, and I didn't spend enough time with Dan. Maybe that's what she meant. Maybe that's my problem. But that only made me feel worse, because here I am, writing.  
  
I have such a crap life.  
  
Lily

* * *

Later 

My dorms  
  
My life really is crap. I suppose, that when I got myself pissed, that I went up to some bloke, and started snogging him. The man: Adonis Lestrange-Malfoy. Yes, I snogged my ex's uncle. Can someone say, "EWW?"  
  
Okay, so I just got this letter from Adonis, asking me if I wanted to hook up with him in a few days. He has time off from work, and I can sneak out that night. So, me being I, and not thinking about what I do, said sure, I'll meet you at this new club that just opened outside Hogsmead. So, in three days time, I am going on a date with my ex's uncle.  
  
That sounds insane, and yes, I think I am insane. Mum found out about the breakup somehow, and she sent me a bunch of CD's, and a note. This is what it said:  
  
_ Dearest Lily,  
  
I heard about what happened between you and Dan. And all I can say is, I have been there. I know what it is like to have your heart torn out, and stomped on by some heartless man. And he probably said he broke up with you because you are horrible in bed, or something as stupid. In any case, I have sent you a care package. It's called the Soundtrack to Breakups, and this is what Luna gave me when your father broke up with me in my sixth year. Listen to it, and use it well.  
  
G.M.W.P.  
_  
Okay, since when did mum use her initials to sign off letters? I dunno...but in any case, I have a hell load of problems on my hands. And, just because I am obsessed with making lists, because they are fun to write, I am putting all of the things that have happened to make my life horrible in a list. It sounds so...mature of me, doesn't it?  
  
_Yet Another List of Everything That is wrong in My Life  
Once Again, a List by Lily Potter  
_  
1.I have a date with my ex's uncle My ex has an uncle who is only a year older than him, and is barely his uncle, but still.

2.Dan Malfoy broke up with me. He did that because, "We both don't know what we want in life." That is so stupid.

3.My uncle came out of the closet on Thanksgiving, and my family is still the laughing stock of the school.

4.I have just thought about having the folks at Queer Eye for the Straight Eye come and makeover my uncle. The bi one.

5.I have a month's detention because my ex broke up with me. Well, maybe now I should go and date Fabio.

6.I have no idea WHERE the Fabio idea came from, as he is like, eighty or something like that.

7.Libby, the annoying pest, just walked in, saying that she was terribly sorry, but the Hufflepuff bathrooms are all clogged up, and my room is the only open one.

8.Oh, and she just told me that Fabio is only forty, and she has plans to marry him.

9.My arch-nemesis wants to marry Fabio, and has alerted me of this fact. What, does she think that I am going to try to take Fabio from her?

10.My peer mentor has informed me that I did nothing to nurture the relationship between Dan and me, therefore leading him to believe that I do not know what I want in my life, and then dump me.

11.My best friends got me pissed drunk last night. At least they were nice enough to give me a hangover potion, though.

12.Because my best friends got me plastered, I made out with my ex's uncle, thus forth resulting in my date with him in three days.

13.My mum—if you read in between the lines—suggest that the reason Dan broke up with me was because I was bad in bed. Hello! I AM STILL A BLOODY VIRGIN!!!

14.If you read in between the lines of her letter, again, you would have picked up that my dad dumped my mum at first, because she "was bad in bed."

15.Finally, Dumbledore had left, leaving Snape and McGonagall in charge. The good thing about this: All holiday homework has been canceled, due to the fact that they still haven't found a new Transfig. Teacher yet.  
  
Lily

* * *

December 12th, 11:51AM 

Potions Class  
  
Don't ask me how I was able to write in potions class, lets just say that Jay and Bray weren't too happy about that last freak potions exam. Anyway, I have two days until my date, and I don't want to go. I mean, my boyfriend has just broken up with me, and I am still really upset about that. At two this morning, I woke up in tears, because I had a dream that I was going to marry Fabio—don't ask—and when Fabio was supposed to kiss me, Dan ran in, yelled that he loved me, and then killed all of Fabio's fanatical fan girls. And the thing is, that's what Dan would do, and then, I broke down into tears.  
  
I popped in "The Soundtrack to Breakups," once I felt slightly better, and then I started crying all over again when I heard the first song on it, which was "Carousel," by Blink 182, and that was the song that Dan wrote in his note. And I couldn't stop crying. It was like, uncontainable water works. So I went to Jay and Bray's dorm, and found Bray up, freaked out about something. She wouldn't tell me, but then asked me why I was crying. And then I started crying again. By this time, Jay was up, and sat me down, and started hugging me. And then I told them about my date.  
  
Bray didn't say anything, really, and Jay started yelling, and told me how I was NOT to go out on that date, because A) Look at the life Adonis has lead, B) I have just been dumped by my boyfriend, and C) The only reason he wants to go out with me is because I made out with him while drunk.  
  
So I told them, that, yes, I would cancel my date with Adonis, and try to forget Dan. But forgetting Dan IS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. I mean, just because we don't have enough chemistry to nurture a relationship between us doesn't mean I will forget about him. I will NEVER stop loving Daniel Anguis Malfoy, and I need to find a way to break my date with his uncle by tomorrow.

* * *

**End Clarification**: I know I said that I wouldn't be able to post for a while...I just put this up because I have nothing to do right now, and people have been wanting an explanation for everything...which I don't have.  
  
**AND**: My normal updating schedule is every two days or so. What I mean by not being able to update when I normally do, like, there might be a week in between updates. I also like to be three chapters ahead of the chapter posted, and I haven't even thought about 22, so, it might be a while.  
  
**ALSO**: If you all haven't; I recommend checking out the _Harry/Ginny Network_. I have posted one of my stories on the site, _Sink Into Your Eyes_, and I love the network. There is also a _Harry/Ginny Fic A Fest_, which is AWSOME!!! I love it. So, there was some advertising for you. 


	20. My Brother's Attacked An Auror

___ The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter _

_ Chapter Twenty: My Brothers Attacked an Auror_

Authoress Note: I know, I have been absolutely horrid and not updating...anyway, here it is. I do have a beta reader—two in fact, so soon, I will have beta'd chapters coming up.

ALSO: Some of the spaceing might be off, this thing hates me.

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Harry Potter and company. But, I do own my Tom Felton shirt that I got at Hot Topic. Oh, how I live that shirt...

Dedication: To my beta's. Without you, my story would be grammatically incorrect.

* * *

Later

The Owlery

Okay, so here is what I am going to tell Adonis:

_Adonis—_

_Hello, it's Lily. About our date on Friday—I don't think I can keep it. I mean, I have just broken up, and I'm not over that yet. I'm not ready for another relationship right now. I'm sorry, but this won't work out._

—_Lily _

So, that's what I am going to send to him. I hope he doesn't like, try to kill me for turning him down, or anything strangely stalker-like for turning him down...I just hope he's an understanding person.

I need to send this, and its frightfully cold up here.

Lily

* * *

December 14th, 9:46 AM 

Muggle Studies

I forgot ALL about getting people gifts for Christmas! What kind of idiot am I? I need to come up with a list—and fast!

Lily

* * *

Later, 10:05 AM 

History of Magic

Christmas List

Jay- Guitar strings and drum sticks

Bray- Purple fishnet tights and matching arm warmers

Drew- WWW gift card

Dan- A deck of cards with the words "Asshole" on them

Benny- An Ozzy hat

Sirius- The book, "A Guide to Being a Pimp"

James- Socks stuffed with condoms

Libby- Pine cones

Mum- some scarf's

Dad- Dragon hide boots (size 12)

Grand mum- Yarn

Grandpa- Ziploc bags

Uncle Bill- socks

Uncle Charlie- A shirt with dragons on it

Uncle Percy- Bill Clinton's book, "My Life"

Uncle George- A tie with shoes on it

Uncle Fred- A tie with socks on it

Uncle Ron- The book, "Dancing With Straights: A Book For Bisexuals in Dealing the Straight People of Society"

The House Elves- Ten gallons each (we only have two)

The Malfoys- A doormat that says "Former home of a ferret. Now there are two of us."

Inyx- A shirt that says, "My Brother's a Dumb Ass"

Kadia- A shirt that says, "It's Not My Fault My Brother Needs to Find Himself

My Frog- A new tree

My Fish- A New Castle

My Gecko- A new log

The Aurors- Cookies and flowers

The Ministry of Magic- Flowers with a note saying, "Thank you for making my daddy work last Christmas." And really, my dad was in Albania last Christmas.

Professor Snape- self-tanning lotion

Dumbledore- more socks

Flitwick- the book, "A short Persons Guide to the World of the Tall."

Sinistra- glow in the dark stars

McHenry- The book, "A Muggles Guide to Cooking"

Hagrid- The book, "Attenuation, and How Giants Deal With It."

Hmm...I think that's it...yes, that's it. Oh crap. There's and owl in here! Double crap! It's for me!!!

Lily

* * *

Later 

Lunch

Well, I read the note. And I must say, life really does hate me. This is what it said:

**Lily,**

**Will you be over it by Saturday?**

**Adonis.**

Does he have ANY respect for the broken hearted? I mean, I still love Dan, and I can't get over that. You don't get over someone like him that fast. You just don't. And to have Adonis just sit there and insist that I go out with him, its like, I can't. And I told Jay about it, and she told me to stand Adonis up. But I don't want to do that, because I would feel like crap for the rest of my life for standing him up, and I don't want nor need, that guilt on top of the pain I already feel about the breakup.

I don't know. Everyone is really happy about Christmas, and I would rather not think about Christmas. Although I have found Blink 182's Untitled Album to be quite comforting, as many of the songs match my mood.

But really, this Adonis thing got blown WAY out of proportion, and the stupid bloke won't take no for an answer. I have NEVER had anyone so desperate to date me before.

Lily

* * *

December 15th, 2:46PM 

Charms

We leave for Winter Holes in five days. I have managed to do all my shopping my owl order, so no problems there. But I still need a dress for Mum's stupid Christmas Party. I saw this dress in one of Bray's fashion catalogs. It was a black, strapless dress with a floor length skirt, with a thin white stripe running up one of the sides. I have a black shawl I could wear with it, and Mum would be happy with it, I think...

Anyway, I seem to have ANOTHER problem. I guess Draco wrote to Drew and Dan—not that I care that he wrote to Dan—with the usual stuff, and the news that Adonis is an auror. I stole the letter from them, and this is what it said:

_**Dan and Drew,**_

_**Your mum is currently chasing Inyx around the house, as she won't go to bed, but I don't blame her, nine is much to early to go to bed, but try telling your mum that. Anyway, your grandmother (Malfoy) sends her love from the Caribbean, with news that it is absolutely wonderful there. I think that we might be vacationing there next summer if you two are still at home. (Please don't, your sisters are being horrible this year, I suspect it has something to do with their age.) Your mum has just yelled at me to tell you boys to study hard, and you will be grounded if you don't get at least three N.E.W.T.'s. So study hard, and she'll see you in a few days.**_

_**As I told you two I would be doing, I have done a background search on Adonis. Lo and behold, he really is a Malfoy, but is not eligible for the Malfoy inheritance, as I was named heir. Also, according to Harry, Adonis is an auror. And that's all I know.**_

_**We are staying with the Potters for Christmas, so please; remember this year, so we don't get a repeat of fifth year.**_

_**Dad**_

Well...I don't know what to say. Only that Adonis will be at that God forsaken party.

Lily

* * *

Later 

I think I have been listening to way too much depressing music. Really, I have grown attached to Blink 182, and it's not right. Anyway, I go home in five days. And I don't want to. I just want to stay here, and look into the fire, and have people leave me alone. But sadly, I can't even get that here. Adonis has been owling me constantly, as I am ignoring him, in hopes that he'll stop and leave me alone. But, its not working. And I really wish it would, because I am so tired of him. I just wish he would die.

And with Dumbledore gone, and we can't get another Transfig. Teacher until after term ends; all holiday homework has been canceled. So, that's nice. But I really wish I had something to take my mind off of my boy troubles. But, we can't always get what we want, can we?

* * *

December 17th, 1:26 PM 

History of Magic

I am dead board, and have gotten approximately twenty-six owls from Adonis today. It's getting annoying. I know that we were supposed to get together tomorrow, but I'm going to take Jay's advice, and not go.

Lily

* * *

Later 

Adonis showed up during dinner. Then, James beat him to a pulp. I told James about what Adonis was doing, and well, I didn't think that James would take it that bad. Then, Remus went over to them, and asked what James was doing, and when James told him, Remus joined in, and the whole time, Sirius held me while I was crying. Dan just sat there, staring at me. And I really wish that he wouldn't do that, as it's a little unnerving. The weird thing was, nobody did anything to stop anybody. The teachers have given up hope since Dumbledore left, and everybody else was too shocked. It was just horrible, and it makes me wish I were never born. And the bad thing was, was that Adonis is an auror, so Dad's going to get pissed, because my brothers attacked an auror, and then Adonis is going to lose his job because he couldn't defend himself from my brothers. This is why I wish I were never born.

So I have made my decision, and I am staying at Hogwarts for Christmas. And I don't give a damn what anyone thinks about that.

Lily

* * *

End Thing: It's going to be a while for the next one, and if you read this during read only time, I think you can review, I DO ACCEPT ANONYMOUS REVIEWS! Just thought I should let me know. 

**AND:** **_Ian_**, if you happen to read this, e-mail me. Ask ET for it, or C...she should have it.

Thanky,

Red


	21. What The Hell?

_The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter_

_Chapter Twenty-One: What The Hell?_

Authoress Thing: If you ever have to read October Sky and then write about it, DO NOT focus on the Father/Son relationship like I did. Do the rockets. Not the people. Because it will put you in the low that I am in. Because it was so sad, and I went in too deep with it, and now I'm sad. Anyway, the story. School starts in...three days, so this might be the only chapter for a few weeks. Let me get my feet on the ground before I post anything, please.

Disclaimer: This is an IM conversation with my best friend's boyfriend: (said friend was not available at the moment. He was the next best thing.)

Me "Randy, do I own Harry Potter and his posse?"

Me "(Just say no)"

Randy "No."

Me "Okay. Do I own any mentioned bands, songs, or any part of American Culture?"

Me "(Once again, say no)"

Randy "No."

Me "Thank You. One last question. Do I own all OC characters?"

Me "(Say yes)"

Randy "Yes."

Dedication: To all the teachers who come to Mum's "The Eighth Grade Has Graduated, Let's Drink Alcohol Even Though We Have To Go To Work Tomorrow Party." I am sure you are all wonderful people who would not take me in if I pierced my lip or got the tattoo I want...

December 18th

The Common Room, by myself

Because everyone was going home for Christmas, they canceled classes for the rest of the week, and sent everyone home. Except for myself. I went to see the Headmistress about staying here, and she started laughing in my face. I guess the only people staying here are the muggle studies teacher and I. So I get to spend my mourning time with a professor. She is staying in the Gryffindor dorms, and has taken residence in the boy's dorms—the first year dorms; I suppose they are the cleanest ones. Anyway...

Right now, my brothers and best friends are getting off the train, and meeting their parents for a happy holiday. Except, I won't be there to brood and make their holidays horrible. They can enjoy their holidays. Because I know I won't. My brothers don't even know that I didn't get on the train. I just sat in a corner, listing to sad music while everyone left. Sounds fun, doesn't it?

It's raining out. It's really odd, too, because it's supposed to be snowing. But instead, it's raining. Oh well, at least everything will be iced over tomorrow, and nobody will be able to come here. The owls won't want to travel in this weather, and The Floo Network gets shut down three days before Christmas, and reopens three days afterwards. And, you can't apperate to Hogwarts. So nobody can bug me.

Bug-less-ly,

Lily

* * *

Later

Same Place

HOLY MERLINS IMMITATION JOW BOXER BRAND BOXERS!!!!!! ALL THE MAGIC IS GONE!!!! NOTHING WORKS!!!!!! I'M STUCK LIVING LIKE A MUGGLE!!!! AND THE MUGGLE STUDIES TEACHER DOESN'T UNDERSTAND MUGGLES!!!!!

* * *

Later

McHenry came down, sighed, and then turned the fireplace into a TV. She is watching Buffy right now, and it's the musical episode, and Buffy is singing about killing vampires. It's kind of scary, actually, listening to someone sing about killing vampires. But anyway...McHenry said that because everyone has left Hogwarts, the magic that holds this place together is gone. So really, anyone, including muggles, could walk right on up here...if they wanted to brave the weather. I have just been sitting around, listening to music, while McHenry watches TV. It's really boring, but it's better than going home. I dunno...I think I am going to go watch Buffy.

Lily

* * *

December 19th, 4:56 AM

Watching TV

Have you ever noticed how much the men of the Malfoy family look like Spike? It's terrifying. I mean, they could all be vampires! Anyway, an owl came through today. And it had a howler from Mum and the whole thing was about coming home, because sulking is not going to get me anywhere. I sent her a note back telling her all about my woes. No, not really, I just sent her a note to bugger off and have a nice holiday. Although, McHenry hasn't been having a wonderful holiday. She got a note from her boyfriend in America telling her that he found someone new, so she can go find some other pimp, what ever that means. Anyway, she has been weeping ever since, and it's quite annoying. That's why I am up at such an hour. I couldn't sleep through all the moaning.

Anyway, it stopped raining, and had started snowing. So, now Hogwarts should be very hard to get to, and hopefully nobody will try to some here for all of holidays. McGonagall checked in on us like, three hours ago, and said that all the magic should be back by the time term begins. Well, that's hopeful. We only have one house elf here, and she's currently hiding in a corner, crying because her favorite blanket got ripped on a loose nail on a chair. Oh well, at least we have a house elf. Mum always gives the house elves the holes off, as she always cooks our meals. Well, now she has to cook for one last person.

-Sigh- it's DEAD boring here. There is nothing to do! Honestly, all I am doing is watching Buffy re-runs, and listening to a teacher cry over her love life. Well, at least I have something in common with a teacher. Maybe we could talk about the stupidity of boys together.

Wait...

I DID NOT JUST WRITE THAT! WHY WOULD I WANT TO _BOND_ WITH A _TEACHER_??? GOD, WHAT AM I, HEAD GIRL???

And honestly, the head girl has seen boding with teachers. Her and Sprout have had some lively conversations about plants, I hear. But plants are deadly boring, aren't they? I mean I wouldn't want to carry on a conversation about plants.

Lily

* * *

Later

I talked to a portrait of some chick that cried all the time. She had a very interesting life. I guess she saw my parents doing it on the couch I am sitting on.

Hold on...

My parents had sex on this couch. My parents—EWW!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!! WTF!!!!!!! THAT IS SOOOOOOO DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!!! OH GOD!!!!!!!!! THAT IS SOOOO DIRTY!!!!!!!!!

I have just finished jumping up and down, and screaming. I am NEVER sitting on that couch—ever. I even made a little sign for it, so nobody will sit on it. So, hovering above the couch is a sign that says this:

_WARNING!_

_Harry James and Ginerva Molly Weasley Potter have used this couch for intimate purposes before! _

_It is suggested that you avoid this couch at all costs!_

_Thanky,_

_The One Person Who Cares About Decency In This World _

So there it is, right above the couch. Maybe people will learn something about decency by knowing what they have sat on has been used for.

McHenry just saw the sign and said that EVERYONE except prudes has used that couch for sex. MY TEACHER JUST CALLED ME A PRUDE!!!!!!!!! SOMETHING IS WRONG IN THIS WORLD!!!!!!

And she just read that, and said, "You're STILL a virgin? God, no WONDER half the staff calls you Gothic."

I am in shock. My very own TEACHERS call me Gothic? What the hell is wrong with the world? I mean, has everyone under the age of sixteen had sex already besides me????

She just told me that, yes, yes they have.

I need to get a life.

Lily

* * *

P.S. She just said that I do need to get a life.

My teacher told me to get a life.

How wrong does that sound? I mean, a _professor_ telling me to get a life! That's like Dumbledore setting me up with Ricky Martin.

She just told me that he has brought that up at a staff meeting a few times.

WHAT THE HELL?

* * *

Real Notes: Yes, some teacher's are like that. Trust me, I know. Only, his or her staff meetings usually involve someone going home pissed.

PLEASE REVIEW!!!! I ONLY NEED 5 TO REACH 200!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanky, Red


	22. I Turned Them Into Snails

_The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter_

_Chapter Twenty-Two: I Turned Them Into Snails_

Disclaimer: No, not mine

Dedication: To my dog, who gave me inspiration while on a walk.

December 20th, 5:56 AM

* * *

The Common Room

Personal note: The orange Tic Tac's are DISGUSTING!!!! McHenry, who told me to call her Abigail or Abby, has decided that we must try them out, and see if they are fit for her lessons. She happened to be fond of them; I spewed mine out the second the taste set in. It was horrible. Anyway...

The crying house elf told us its name. Its name is Caethes. Weird name, and Abby said that it's a Welsh name meaning "slave." What a lovely thing to name somebody. Well, it is a house elf, so...you know, this topic reminds me of Dan for some reason, so lets not talk about this.

Hold on, there is nothing else to talk about. Oh pooh. Now, I have run out of things to talk about. Abby is reading "Romeo and Juliet." I wonder if part of her mourning period is to read stories where lovers end up committing suicide because they can't be together because of their stupid families. Oh well, it's her life, not mine.

Lily

* * *

Later

Skip saving the Queen, saves me! Abby is walking around repeating the lines,

"Yea, noise? Then I'll be brief. O happy dagger!

_Snatching Romeo's dagger_

This is thy sheath;

_Stabs herself_

There rust, and let me die.

_Falls on Romeo's body, and dies"_

It's quite depressing, listening to someone scream, "O happy dagger!" over and over again. It's scary, too. I think she might be suicidal. This is scaring me. Now she's saying,

"What's here? A cup, closed in my true love's hand?  
Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end:  
O churl! Drunk all, and left no friendly drop  
to help me after? I will kiss thy lips;  
Haply some poison yet doth hang on them,  
to make die with a restorative.

_Kisses him_

Thy lips are warm."

She is becoming rather...freaky...with this whole thing. I better go steal Shakespeare from her before she tries to make a one woman show out of it, and try to kill herself twice.

Lily

* * *

Later

My dorms—packing

She didn't try to kill herself, thank God. But something horrible did happen. Mum came here. She apperated in here, and started yelling, saying that hiding from my fears was doing nothing, and that Jay and Bray ran away from home. That got me moving. Mum wouldn't tell me anything, so now I have to go home. Abby is coming too; she was walking around contemplating whether or not to jug a whole bottle of vodka. I tell you, my teachers are insane.

So then Mum saw her, and started arguing with her over the vodka, and Mum ended up banishing it. Then, she rounded on me, and asked me if I was driving my teachers to drowning themselves in alcohol. I said no, it was her idiot American boyfriend. And then Abby broke down into tears, and started telling Mum the whole story of her "jack ass boyfriend with a pimp cane stuck up his arse." Her words—not mine. So here I am, packing while Mum has a heart-to-heart with my teacher. Oh what joy?

Lily

* * *

Later

My Bedroom

Dad is blasting Queen. Right now he is playing "We Are The Champions," and dancing around singing it off-key, and Mum is twirling around, humming it, dusting. And Abby is asleep; trying to sleep off the Vodka she chugged on the way over here. And Jay and Bray are sitting on my bed, hugging while crying. I suppose they had a showdown with their parents yesterday, and ran away from home. This is what Jay said went down; Bray was too busy crying, and saying that she turned them into snails to tell me the story.

See, their parents are muggles, and have a very appalling idea about the world that we live in, and hate the fact that they are half vampires. So whenever they go home its always very strained, and not enjoyable at all. So this time, when they went home, it was even weirder, because they have the whole thing with their real parents coming out. So, of course, their muggle parents were even more horrible, and yelled, and screamed at them, and their dad tried to hit them a few times, but Bray threw a chair at him, and knocked him out for a few hours.

So then, their mum got pissed, and started yelling, and then Bray went back to their room to throw all their stuff they didn't take to Hogwarts into a trunk, while Jay was yelling at their mum how it wasn't their fault that some insane vampire tried to sire them at the age of one. So then their mum starts yelling, and then Jay got so tired of it that she accidentally blew up their TV and the refrigerator and then Bray came out, with all their stuff shrunk, and saw what was happening, and accidentally turned their parents into snails.

They ran out of the house, and they started running for mine which is on the other side of the city, when they remembered they had their brooms, so they flew, and they were lucky it was dark and snowing out. So they showed up on my front porch half-frozen, and suffering of hypothermia, and found Dan out there, in his boxers, laying down in the snow, looking like he was going to kill himself.

So, that's their story. And I need to go; somebody needs me up stairs.

Lily

* * *

December 21st, 4:51PM

My bedroom

It was Mum. She found this CD called "No Doubt: The Singles 1992-2003." It's a pretty good CD, and because I like the music so much, and I did background stuff on her, and have decided that Gwen Stefaniis my new idol. I mean, she is an inspiration for a generation, and being in a band with all blokes, she is amazing. But, I am also in a band with all blokes, so it's okay. I mean their song, "Just A Girl," is so true. Now, if I could only get the guys to play No Doubts music. I already got yelled at six times because I was running around the house singing, "Don't Speak," and went up to Grandma, and went, "Don't speak, I know just how you feel." And then she went,

"Oh, so you know how I feel about your uncle being a fruit?" I swear my family is horrible.

So I walked away, and bumped into Dan. And he was blue. Don't ask me how, but he was. Then, Hermione saw him, and started screaming, and nearly threw him in the fire to make him skin colored. It was weird. And to top it all off, Abby has decided that being a drunk is the life for her. She went to a bar last night, and brought home a sex offender. Dad had to stun the man from groping the owl, and then Mum sobered up Abby, and locked her in the guesthouse.

So, I am having an enjoyable Christmas. I will write later, dinner is ready.

Lily

* * *

Later

My Kitchen

Holidays are boring. I have now figured that out. It's the same as it has always been. Mum is going insane because our house is not prefect for the party in...three days. And I still don't have a dress. It's okay; I can wear the black one that I wore last year. It'll fit, because I didn't really...grow. I mean, my boobs did, but the dress was big in that area anyway. Dad is sitting across from me, eating Fruit Loops. It's funny, because Mum yells at us if we eat cereal for anything except breakfast. But, I don't blame him, we had chocolate covered apples for dinner, because Mum can't cook, and grandma was visiting, and people seem to think we need chocolate covered apples.

"Lily," Dad is saying, "How old are you?"

"Seventeen."

"Good, I'm taking you to learn how to drive."

Oh goody. Now, I get to kill a car!

Lily

* * *

Hey all! I know, its been a while, but school had started, and I haven't even started 24, even though I have tons of ideas for this story. But I will tell you something to pull you over into the next chapter. Something big happens. Something Ron fans will love, and something fans of desteny will love as well. Especially if you are like me, and read WAY to many romace novels...of the trashy kind...anyway...


	23. On The Run

The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter

Chapter Twenty-Three: On the Run

Authors Note: I got my first review demanding that I update last night! I am so proud of myself! Anyway, if this chapter is too short for you...I have a twelve page, 2,000-some word chapter comming.

Disclaimer:

(Umbridge Cough)

Red and her muses would like to make the following announcment:

'We, the "authors" of this tale, DO NOT OWN the following:

Television, Monty Python, Rain, Driving Lessons, Mozart ('cuz he's dead), Sweet and Sour Chicken, Richard Marx, The Rolling Stones, Evergreen trees, Toilet paper (sadly enough), a red couch, and a bell. We also do not own all Harry Potter characters, they belong to their rightful creater, JKRowling, mummy of Harry Potter.'

Dedication: To Billie Joe Armstrong, Tre Cool, and Mike Dirnt for comming out with their new album, 'American Idiot'.

* * *

December 22nd, 9:56AM 

The Living Room

I couldn't sleep past eight, so I am watching TV. Hermione is down here, sitting in Draco's lap, watching Monty Python.

In other news, Dan has been haunting the hallway outside of my door. It's scaring me. Because he is muttering something about some girl who he acted stupidly with. I don't know what his deal is, but he is scaring me.

Anyway, Dad just walked down, and said, "Lily, we need to start as soon as all this freak weather is over with." And he motioned to the window, where it is currently—raining. I swear this weather is insane. And now Draco is saying,

"Start what?"

"Driving lessons. Lily is going to learn how to drive."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, will you two shut up, I am trying to watch TV!" That was Hermione. I am just going to leave them at it, and go take a shower.

Lily

* * *

Later 

The Garage

This is the only place where no one will bother me. Other wise, it's "Lily, do the dishes", "Lily, vacuum the carpet", "Lily, did you make your bed?" I mean, come on, we don't have to have this insane party. And, we have house elves. They can clean carpets, and do dishes, and make my bed. They get paid for it! But anyway, about the party...

It's stupid, because the only thing that happens at them is Luna gets drunk off of her ass, and starts singing Mozart. Yes, Mozart. Don't ask me how, she just can. And I have witnessed that event ten times, ever since she decided that after her kid turned one, it was safe to drink again. So, I have come up with and idea to get out of this party.

I'm running away. Yes, I am running away. Uncle Ron declined his invitation, (Mum sent them out in October) saying that he is staying in for the Holes. Which is fine with me, because in a few minutes I am flooing out to his house. So, ta, ta, this stupid house, I'm running away!

Lily

* * *

Later 

Mum caught me rummaging around for floo powder. I managed to stuff some in my pocket before she caught me, so I am leaving in a few minutes. Bray and Jay know where I am if they need me. Everyone else, including my brothers, (The last time I tried to run away, James went to the Ministry and told on me. We were six) Are clueless.

Lily

* * *

December 23rd, 2:32 AM 

The couch in Ron's flat

Actually, there are six couches in this flat, and I am sitting on the white one. Ron's not home, and hasn't been for the past six hours that I have been here. I got hungry, so I ordered some sweet and sour chicken, and ate that, and that was three hours ago. I wonder what a bi bloke can do in the middle of the holiday season?

Lily

* * *

Later 

The Guest Room

Ron came home...four hours after my last entry. He saw me, and was about to go floo my parents, when I jumped on him, tackled him to the ground, stole his bag of floo powder, and threw it out into the rain. And then Ron went,

"Hey! That was my last bag!"

My reply was, "Too bad."

"Why are you here anyway?"

"I ran away."

"Did you tell James?"

"No."

"Good, you're learning. I tried to run away when I was three, but Fred and George had glued a bell on me, so I didn't get too far."

"Oh."

"I suppose you can stay here...nobody's coming over for Christmas. So, the guest bedroom's yours."

He is so easy to convince. And I didn't even have to say anything! Really, I didn't. So anyway, I should eat something, and it smells like food...

Lily

* * *

Later 

Ron took me shopping today. He was like, "You're here, so lets go out." I spent three hours at some punk boutique, and then we went to this store dedicated to Bi people. And then, we came home, and now, I feel...crazy. Like, I feel like doing something completely insane...but I don't know what. Hum...oh...I know...

Lily

* * *

Later, 1:23 AM 

My "Room"

I went out and toilet papered all the evergreen trees in the neighborhood. I know, it sounds really stupid and something a third year from America would do, but I heard them talking about it, and it sounded fun. I think I am going to go dance about in the living room to loud Rolling Stones music. That sounds like fun.

* * *

Ten minutes later 

The Kitchen

Ron said that because my mum is weird, both Dumbledore and him are my godparents. So, really, I have every right to be here. Only, I want to strangle Ron, because he is playing Richard Marx, and he sucks, and I want to destroy the CD...anyway...it's Christmas Eve.

Ron just asked me if I have any nice clothes, and I said yeah, I brought the dress I was going to wear to Mum's party tonight. And he said; well, good, because we are going to Church tonight. Only, I've never been to Church before...

Lily

* * *

Breakfast 

Abby showed up. She was like, "Lily! I found you!" And then hugged me. What I want to know is how she found me. I left no trace as to where I was going. So, how did she find out? I mean, if she, a woman who has resorted to alcoholism to get over a bloke, can find, what about Mum? Or even worse, Dan, or, even more horrible than him—Adonis? I mean I ran away to not have to deal with all that, and look where I am now.

Eww...Abby and Ron have suddenly jumped on each other, and are making out...and now, Ron is carrying her to his room...I don't think he is Bi anymore...okay, that's disgusting. It really is. I don't want to watch my uncle and my teacher go at it. This is nasty.

The doorbell is ringing. Ron should get that. He knows I can't answer the door, because it might be my parents, and then they would find out that Ron was hiding me here, and then my life would be over. This sucks. Nobody is getting the door. WILL SOMEONE GET THE FLOGGING DOOR????

I guess not. So I will have to get it myself.

Lily

* * *

Later, 12:02 PM 

On the red couch

The person at the door Gasp...

Dan.

Yes, he followed Abby here, figuring that she went after me. So this time when I go to the door, I just stand there. And then Dan says, "Lily, I am sorry about being a complete idiot. I know, I don't know what came over me, and..." Okay, if you thought that's what happened, you really have been reading too many romance novels. Actually, he went, "Oh...hello."

And then I went, "Hi."

"Um...can I come in? I need to ask you something."

"Okay." And we went and sat in the living room. (Ron is an auror. He makes lots of money and has a HUGE flat.)

"Can I say I'm sorry?"

"For what?"

"Being stupid."

"Okay..."

"I was—I don't know how to say it. I mean, I love you, I really do. But, for a while, it was like—"

"Yeah, I know how you feel."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I do."

"So...you want to try it again?"

And then I snogged him. So, I have a boyfriend again. Which is awesome, because it has been really lonely without Dan, and not talking to him, and trying to get over him and everything. So, now, I don't have to worry about that, because I can just pull him into small rooms and make out as long as I want to.

All because... I HAVE A BOYFRIEND AGAIN!!!!

* * *

End Notes: My best friend, the one who slapped me for breaking them up, was screaming when this happened. 

Next Chapter: CHRISTMAS!!!!!!


	24. The Nightmare Before Christmas

The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter

Chapter Twenty-Four: The Nightmare Before Christmas

**!!!!!SEROUSLY READ THIS!!!!!**

**I KNOW THAT I AM USING SCRIPT FORMAT. PLEASE, IF YOU ARE GOING TO REPORT ME, E-MAIL ME FIRST, LETTING ME KNOW, AND I WILL FORMERLY REMOVE THE STORY, RATHER THAN HAVE IT TAKEN OFF. I WILL TRY TO FIND ANOTHER SITE TO HOST THIS STORY. BUT PLEASE, LET ME KNOW IF YOU ARE GOING TO DO THIS. Thank you, Red.**

Dedication: To Joel, Benji, Billy, Paul, and Chris, for putting out your newest album. I love it.

Disclaimer: I have to beg my parents to give me money. I AM NOT JKR!!!!!

* * *

December 24th, 2:22 PM

Ron's Living Room

I have a boyfriend! I have a boyfriend! I have a boyfriend! I have a boyfriend! I have a boy—oh...Sorry.

Anyway, about the boyfriend...he wants me to go back home. I guess that Mum took it really personal when I ran away. She seems to think that I have gone, and am dieing in some snow bank in muggle London, and am trying to stay alive off of dead rats. Seriously, that's what she thinks.

So, Dan wants me to at least go to the Christmas Ball. He wants me to just go to the party, I don't have to go back home.

But I don't want to even go to the party. I don't want to go back to that house. I know that the minute I go back, I will be criticized out of it.

Dan left, telling me to think about it. So, I'll think about it.

Lily

* * *

Later

My Room

I have decided to go. I'm putting on my dress now. I really don't want to go, but I don't completely hate my mum, either. I love her enough to go to this party.

I just read what I wrote, and realized that I sounded like a stuck up bitch. And that's the last thing I want to be. My paragraph was really horrible. Really, only having it in me to love my mum a bit? I sound like Libby!

Anyway, the party starts soon, and I need to go...

Lily

* * *

Christmas Day, 4:56 AM

The Hall Bathroom of Potter Manor (AKA my house)

Yeah, I live in a manor...more like a castle...but anyway...this is what happened when I came. Dan already had his apperating license, so he took us both here. The minute I set foot on the front lawn, I was accosted by a mob of people, who dragged me behind some bushes and duct taped my mouth shut, and threatened to kill me if I tried to scream.

Actually, my best friends, along with their respected boyfriends and my brothers did the accosting and dragging, but no duct taped was used. Instead, I was attacked by Jay, who hugged me so hard; I thought she was going to suffocate me.

Sirius: Where have you been? We have all been worried! Mum's gone off the deep end!

Me: So? Isn't she always?

Sirius: No.

Drew: Where's Dan?

Me: I dunno.

Drew: Was he with you?

Me: Yeah.

James: Lils, where have you been?

Me: Uh...I ran off to Ron's house.

Everyone: (Collectively) Oh...

Me: Yeah...I don't think he's bi any more.

Remus: What?

Me: Well...Abby followed me...and they got really friendly with each other.

Suddenly Dad appears, scaring all of us.

Dad: Where they loud? Cuz I remember when Ron and Lavender shagged...urg...THAT was loud.

Me: Dad, I could have lived my life not knowing that.

Dad: Oh, right. I came out here to tell you something...oh yeah! Luna's already plastered, and running around singing, "God Save The Queen."

Bray: Right.

Sean: Mr. Potter, how does this affect us?

Dad: She gives lap dances to the person she is singing to.

All: (Collectively) Oh...

Dad: So, if she comes up to you, run in the other direction. Neville is in my lounge, having jello shots, trying to erase this day from his memory...

And then he walked away. It was quite odd, but at least someone told us about it.

Me: We have to save Neptune!

Drew: Why do we need to save a planet?

James: No you idiot! Neptune is a person!

Drew: Oh...

James: Duh! Now Lily, why do we need to save the little bugger?

Me: Because, his mum is plastered, and his dad is following suit! He needs saving!

So, I stood up from the bushes, and ran into my house, throwing my shawl at Ellette, one of our house elves, and ran into the ballroom, and searched the room for Neptune. I found the poor boy; he was looking miserably at his cub of punch. I thought looked like he needed to do a little underage drinking, but we won't go there.

Me: NEPTUNE!

Neptune: Huh?

Me: How are you?

Neptune: At least your mum isn't giving people lap dances while sing, "God Save the Queen."

Me: You have a point.

Neptune: Yeah.

Suddenly, Luna stumbles over, and, seeing an open lap, begins giving HER OWN SON a lap dance.

Luna: God save our gracious queen! Long live our noble queen! God Save the Queen!

Neptune looked like he was going to die. And if I was in his position, I think I would too.

Luna: Send her victorious, Happy and glorious, Long to reign over us, God Save the Queen!

As soon as she finished her um—song and dance ensemble...she went off to entertain some old senile bloke. Anyway, I sat down next to Neptune, and was looking at the table decorations, when I noticed something. It was a little sign with this written on it:

_Green Day_

_Presenting_

_American Idiot a Rock Opera_

_Will be shown at 8:00 PM_

I read that, and jumped out of my seat, holding this little card.

Me: NO WAY!

Neptune: What?

Me: Green Day is performing their ROCK OPERA TONIGHT?

Neptune: Well, yeah.

Me: NO...BLOODY...WAY!

Neptune: Yes!

Me: THIS IS SO COOL!

And then, I began jumping up and down, screaming about Green Day. That's when mum found me.

Mum: LILY!

Me: Oh...hello.

Mum: BABY!

And then, she proceeded to try to kill me. She was hugging me so hard, that I couldn't breathe.

Me: Mummers! I—can't—breathe!

Mum: Oh...right.

And so she let me go, but held me at arms length.

Mum: Where the hell were you?

Me: Uh...Ron's house.

Mum: I see. And where is your uncle?

Me: Church.

Mum: He's gay, and he prays?

Me: I think Abby changed that, though.

Mum: Really?

Me: Yes.

The lights suddenly dimmed, and I was yanked away by a mysterious arm, when I was suddenly face-to-face with Dan.

Dan: (Low, and really sexy) Hey Lily.

Me: Oh, hello Dan.

Dan: Did you hear who was playing?

Me: Yeah, Green Day!

Dan: I am really looking forward to it.

Me: Me too.

Dad: Hey, you two! Wanna to get close to the front?

I looked up at Dan, and he nodded, and we wove our way to the very front of the mini mosh pit that had formed in front of the stage. The room became completely dark, except for one small, dim light, which was centered on some nameless person playing three guitar chords, before the stage lit up, drums and bass joined, and Billie Joe Armstrong sang, "Don't want to be an American idiot."

It was awesome. Green Day did wonderfully, if I do say so myself. When they got to the song, "St. Jimmy," I sang it to Dan, and he, in turn, sang, "She's A Rebel," to me.

Eventually, the show ended, and, as an encore, Billie Joe came back on, and played "Good Riddance" for us. It was really cool. But, as everyone was going back to their seats, and some orchestra began playing Christmas songs, no one noticed Jay and Sean slip away...

But what I did notice was Dan kiss me, and then pulled me out into the hallway, where we sat on a couch, and just watched the stars. We did that for what seemed like hours, when Drew and Bray suddenly ran over to us.

Drew: You know how Luna was pissed?

Me: Yeah...

Bray: Well, you see...(giggles uncontrollably)

Drew: She summoned a bunch of mad penguins. And they started chasing people, and tried to eat the tubular bells players. She hiccupped, and about fifty giant snapping turtles appeared, and they tried to attack the Minister of Lichtenstein. And then, somehow, all these piranhas flew out of the tuba player's tuba, and attacked people.

Me: Oh my...

Dan: All because Luna was drunk?

Bray: Magical malfunction. You want to know who the fish went after?

Me: Who?

Bray: Adonis.

Me: Are you serious?

Bray: Yeah.

Me: Tha—

Sirius: You guys!

Dan: What?

Sirius: You would NEVER believe what I just saw in the library.

Me: What? Ancient books on sex?

Sirius: Well, that and something else!

Bray: Out with it!

Sirius: Sean proposed to Jay!

It was at this point that Bray fell over.

Me: What?

Sirius: Yeah. There was a ring and everything.

Me: WHAT DID SHE SAY?

Sirius: Um...you see...I got caught.

Me: By whom?

Sirius: Remus. He was walking by, and saw the book I had open, and dragged me out of the library before I could hear a reply.

Bray: But...my....OH MY GOD! SHE COULD BE GETTING MARRIED!

Me: Bray, she...YOU'RE RIGHT! OH MY FREAKEN CONVERS!

Needless to say, Bray and I spent the next ten minutes screaming about the fact that Jay could possibly getting married, when a giant penguin waddled past us.

Drew: THAT'S A PENGUIN!

Dan: Drew, I'm sure—HOLY SHITE! THAT'S A PENGUIN! RUN!

And so we ran. Into the library, actually. The first thing we saw was Jay and Sean snogging, and then we caught our breath, and noticed that they were snogging.

Bray: JAY!

Jay: (Hides hand behind back) Bray! Lily! What are you all doing here?

Drew: A penguin chased us in here.

Jay: Okay...

Bray: (To me) see any ring?

Me: (To Bray) no...you?

Bray: Nope.

Me: Jay, is there anything you would like to tell us?

Jay: N-no, not really. Why?

Me: Oh, just wondering. No reason, really,

Jay: Okay.

Me: Yeah...

Sean: So...did a penguin really chase you in here?

Drew: Yes!

Suddenly, there was a noise that could only be described as a war cry.

Sean: What the hell was that?

Sirius: (Casually) that's a penguin.

Sean: A Penguin.

Sirius: Yeah, a penguin.

Sean: Why are penguins attacking the door?

Sirius: Because, Luna became completely smashed, and she had a magical malfunction.

Sean: So, that's why there are penguins trying to kill us?

Sirius: Yup.

Sean: I see...

Meanwhile, Jay had pulled Bray and myself aside, and was leading us to the wizarding law section, and pulled out a book.

Me: Jay, what are you doing?

Jay: You guys, I have something I need to tell you.

Bray: (Aghast) YOU'RE PREGNANT?

Jay: No. I'm not.

Bray: Oh...okay then.

Jay: You guys...Sean...proposed to me.

Bray fell over again. I just sat there, not saying anything.

Jay: Lily...say something...please.

Me: Wow...Jay...this is really...big.

Jay: I don't know what to say.

Me: What do you mean; you don't know what to say? The answer is really quite obvious.

Jay: Yes...but...

Bray: You accepted, right?

Jay: I...uh...not yet, anyway.

Bray: Then go. You know it's what needs to be done. Go, say yes.

Jay: Okay.

And then Jay left, probably to go to Sean, and talk things over.

Bray: Well, this is an eventful year.

Me: You can say that again.

Bray: Well, this is—

Sirius: THE PENGUINS ARE COMING! DREW, I TOLD YOU NOT TO TAUNT THEM!

Me: Oh, great.

* * *

Later

My Room

Sorry, Luna needed the loos. So anyway, back to the story...

There was this sickening crunch, as a huge wing shot through the door, and was flapping around wildly. Jay started screaming, and Bray jumped up on top of a table and screamed,

"El pingüingo!" And leaped off the table, and hid behind Dad's defense books. Drew went and hid with her, while the rest of us stood frozen, as another giant wing shot through the wall. Screams could be heard out in the hallway, and someone screamed about something chewing their foot off. I started crying at this point, because I knew every one of us was going to die. And on Christmas Eve, too!

Things got even worse, as a giant, but burned, wing flew through the door, allowing an even larger hole to appear in the door, and half a penguin could be seen.

Dan screamed, and then ran to a window, and put his foot through the window. Then, he kept on breaking the window, until there was a decent sized hole. Once he had done this he said, "It's only a few feet, and we'll land in the pool. Okay, Drew, you jump first."

Drew: What?

Dan: Come on! It's the only way out.

Drew: No!

Dan: Fine! Let the penguins eat you alive!

Drew: Okay! I'm jumping!

Bray: (Hysterical) YOU COULD DIE!

Drew: I'd rather die jumping, rather than being eaten alive by penguin!

Bray: THEN I'M GOING WITH YOU!

And she jumped out of the window, just as there was a loud cracking sound, and Sean yelped,

"They broke the wall! They are attacking us!" So, Drew jumped through the window, and ended up in the pool, next to Bray, who was crying from the intensity of it all. I can see why, because we were jumping out of a window to escape crazy giant penguins. Jay followed Drew, then Sean, and then Sirius took the leap, and then there was only Dan and I left. Dan pushed me slightly towards the window, and I crawled into it.

"What if I don't make it?" I asked him, reaching for him.

"You will, trust me Lily." And with those words, I jumped.

And that's all I remember. I woke up on the front lawn, unharmed, thankfully, and ran into the bathroom and threw up. I have no idea what happened to the penguins, all I know is that Luna has been taken in for alcohol level testing, and seeing if she was too intoxicated to realize what she has done. I'm pretty sure she was, and still is. They let her throw up before taking her in, and Neptune is sitting in the hallway, in the fetal position, rocking back and forth, muttering to himself. I'm afraid the poor kid's lost it.

Lily

* * *

Christmas Day, the Burrow

11:46 AM

Because of the destruction of our home, Mum and Dad deemed it necessary to have a good ol' Weasley and Potter Christmas, and go to the Burrow for the holidays. Of course, this meant that the Malfoy's came with us, seeing as I have never had a Christmas that did not consist of sitting on some over-stuffed couch, glaring at my brothers and Dan and Drew, because they got something I wanted.

So, here we are, at The Burrow, and I am watching Fred and George charm mistletoe to follow Jay around. Only, the mistletoe is stuck right in front of Mum's old room, where Jay and Sean have holed themselves up at because they want to "talk". Sure....I'm gonna fall for that old lie. Like Bray saying last month that she was going to the library with Drew.

Bray just read what I put and yelled, "We really DID go to the library! I made Drew get six books!"

"Yeah, but we won't talk about what they were about!" Drew yelled.

"Vampires you brainless git!"

Anyway, whilst they fight over that...oh, James wants me to listen to something...he's listening in to Jay and Sean's conversation, with a shocked look on his face...I wonder why...

Lily

* * *

Later 4:56 PM

Dinner Table

Oh my freaking socks! I did not want to over hear that!

So, James says, "Come! Listen to this!" So I go over, right? Well...I press my ear against the door, and hear something I really shouldn't have.

Jay: Mummm....this tastes soooo good!

Me: (Whispering) what the hell?

James: I dunno.

Me: Shut up! I'm listening!

Sean: I'm glad you like it.

Me: What...oh Lord...

Jay: Yeah...where'd you get it again?

Me: (Gulps) Where?

Sean: A South American country. I forget the name right now. It's really rare, and it's usually something on the Minister of Magic of those countries can get.

Me: James! What does he mean! I mean...oh dear—

Sean: No! Don't put it there!

James passed out. Seriously. He couldn't take it anymore. And I was about to storm in there myself and break it up...with my eyes covered of course. I wasn't about to walk in on a potentially mind scarring situation with open eyes...that's just disturbing.

Jay: Oh, sorry...

And, I covered my eyes, threw the door open, and screamed,

"STOP! SOME OF US ARE SCARRED FOR LIFE!"

And you know what they did? They began laughing!

Jay: Lily, its coffee.

Me: Oh...right... (I uncovered my eyes)

Sean: Columbia! That's where it's from! It's a really rare form of Columbian coffee!

I really felt like slapping myself right now. I mean, I thought that they were—well, you know. And I was about to be mentally scared for life! So anyway, Sean leaves, saying he needs to go owl his family and Jay goes,

"I told him yes."

"Really?" I said.

"Yeah."

"Does Bray know?"

"Yes, I already told her. I also have a memory to share with you." And she pulled out a Pensive.

"Where did yo—"

"I made it. I was skipping class one day, and felt really bored, so I made this. It was really easy."

"Jay, why have you been skipping classes?"

"Because, I'm bored!"

"But—you're in all advanced classes."

"Yeah! And they are really easy! Anyway, my memory..."

And the next thing I knew, I went swirling into the library at my house, before it was destroyed by penguins, of course.

Sean came up to Jay. Jay was sitting in a window seat. As Sean sat down, facing the moon, nearly full on this Christmas night, he stretched his arms out towards her. Jay settled onto his lap, and he wrapped his arms around her.

As they looked up to the moon and the stars, Sean brought out something small. He whispered into her ear, voice soft, "Marry me?" as he a ring onto Jay's finger.

She looked down at the ring. It was a thin silver band with a small diamond. Jay turned her head and looked up into his face. "Yes," She whispered back. They sat in the window all night, watching the sky.

* * *

End Annotations: So...that's Christmas. I hoped you all liked it. I would like to thank Liza for writing that proposal. I know it was perfect for this story. I'd also like to thank Randy, 'cuz if you hadn't spent your time bugging me about writing this, this never would have been done. And C, because...uh...you didn't go to Homecomming either!

**ALSO: I AM LOOKING FOR A BETA READER! I SERIOUSLY NEED ONE! LET ME KNOW IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO! PLEASE BE ABLE TO WORK AROUND AN ODD SCHEDUAL! ALL MY OTHER BETA'S FORGOT ABOUT ME!**

**QUALIFICATIONS**: It's asked that you are able to work around odd hours, and are willing to be asked stupid questions (i.e. I need you to name five stupid things) and if you have AIM or Yahoo Messenger, that would be wonderful. My life is the internet, so, I am always putting out chapters, and you need to be able to get a chapter to me in about three days.

E-mail me (it's in my profile) if you would like to beta read. Please have the subject of your e-mail be "Beta Reader Job", so I don't mistake it for a virus or spam.

And...that's all I have, so PLEASE REVIEW! Fifty more, and I'll have OVER 300!

Red


	25. The Journal of Ginerva Molly Weasley

_The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter_

_Chapter Twenty-Five: The Journal of Ginvera Molly Weasley_

Authors Note: Um…what can I say? It's been over two months. I'm sorry. It's just been really busy around here. All of my extra-curricular activities have started kicking in (I don't do sports) and it's been, hectic, to put it lightly. Plus, six weeks ago I didn't know if I was going to be sent to a hospital or not. Life hasn't been fun. I also wanted to update sometime in the past week, but with being down, I couldn't.

Disclaimer: It's not mine.

Dedication: To everyone who helped pull me through what happened six weeks ago. You guys saved my life.

* * *

Christmas Day, 6:47 PM

The Living Room of the Burrow

So yes, Jay, at a bright seventeen years of age is engaged. Very scary, I know. I fell on the floor, too. I sat there, looking at her combat boots.

"Lily…say something. Please, say something…" I just sat in shock. "Please."

"But—how?"

"Well, when two people—"

"No…but…you…"

"…Yes…?"

"You—wow."

"I know, I'm shocked too."

"Why should you be shocked?"

"Because, Lily, I'm SEVENTEEN! I'M NOT OLD ENOUGH TO GET MARRIED!" And then, she broke down into tears and cried. Jay just sobbed, tears pouring out of her eyes, all curled up in the fetal position.

Now, I cannot stand crying people. I don't understand why, but crying people just…bother me. Now when my best friend, who never cries, breaks down into tears, I know there is something wrong.

"Jay…what's wrong?"

"N-n-nothing. I'm just…over emotional."

"Really."

"Yes. Now, uh…why don't you go open your gifts? I'll clean myself up, and come down later."

So I gave her a box of tissues, and left her.

Lily

* * *

Later, 11:45 PM

The Burrow Kitchen

I was rummaging about the attic for no good reason other than I was bored, and I came across a box marked, "GIN OLD SCHOOL THINGS." I was naturally intrigued, and decided to look inside the box. I found some of Mum's old school books, her old Quidditch team shirt, and her…seventh year diary. It's quite a scary thing, reading my mum's old thoughts, but it also gives you a new insight on her life. This is her first entry:

_1 September 1998, 4:56 PM_

_The Hogwarts Express_

_And so begins my seventh year at Hogwarts. I know this is no way to begin the first entry of my diar—er, journal, but ever since my first year, I'll admit I've been a tad scared of them. I suppose I shall have to thank Harry for this simple thing, he was the one who ran after me when I opened his gift, and saw this, screamed, and ran out of the room crying. He explained that his gift was nothing but some bits of leather and parchment, he took special care to make sure that no evil crazed maniacs were trying to come back to life through my writings._

_And even though I am v. anxious to begin my last year at Hogwarts, I am also a bit afraid. It will be my first year at school without Ron, my brother. He has become a security blanket, I suppose, he was always there, making sure nothing horrid was happening to me (well, except first year, but lets not talk about that)._

_This is also my first year without Harry. And if I don't flunk this year, my only year. He is away learning how to be an auror, yes, but he still promised to visit me whenever possible. And even my own best friend, Luna, doesn't know about what happened last night. Harry told me that he loved me. _

_Oh! Someone is coming, and I think it is Luna. I have been DIEING to talk to her, so I suppose I will put you away for now._

_GMW_

Mum sounds…really superficial, don't you think? Well, you can't think, but don't you think? I never started out that way. I started out saying how my life was horrible and all that crap. Wasn't Voldemort still alive and kicking at that point in time? Then why does she sound so…chipper when a crazy loon is free to kill people? I don't even see why I am bothering with this. I must be really bored to even be reading this.

Lily

* * *

December 27, 4:56 AM

Mum's old room

I have spent the last five hours reading Mum's journal. And I must say, it's a bit weird reading what my mum thought about her first time having sex (she loved it). At least I wasn't conceived in Hogwarts, I know my parents were at least nineteen before they thought about children. I think…

Jay wrote to her magical parents about her engagement to Sean, and is waiting to hear back from them. Sean has been spending all his time away from Jay by himself and one can't help but wonder, what does he have on his mind? I dunno, but Potter Manor has been restored to its original condition, and any charges that would have been brought up against Luna have been dropped because of the level of alcohol in her system. Neptune is spending the rest of the holes with his great-gran, and Neville is just…doing something, I dunno.

I only have one week left to read of Mum's journal, I think I'll finish up before grandmum gets up.

Lily

* * *

December 28th, 5:56 PM

Potter Manor

We made it home today. I have spent the day making sure my piano is properly tuned, and arguing with Dad on why I would never need to learn how to drive. He is obviously convinced that I need to learn how to drive. I don't think I need to. I mean, what use am I going to have with a driver's license in the magical world? None. And if I wanted to travel in the muggle world I'll just use the tube like I usually do.

But when I pointed this out, Dad had a fit, threw some car keys at me, and said we start when I come home for Easter. Only, he threw them at my eye, and now my eye hurts.

Lily

* * *

Later, 6:02 PM

Same spot

I just re-read what I put for Mum's first entry, and I have to say, she sounds kinda…well, like a prep. I have respect for my mum; don't ever doubt that, it's just that, we are two completely different people. We come from two different views of the social spectrum. She was Harry Potter's girlfriend. Sort of like Libby, she dates Blake, this insanely rich bloke who has vacation houses in Paris, New York, London, Tokyo, Madrid, Beijing, and Amsterdam. I mean, we have a vacation house in Wales, and that's it. And well, I suppose that it would make sense that my parents and their friends were insanely superficial.

Anyways, there is a loud pounding on my door…it might have something to do with the Blink 182 I am blasting…I needed to think! Can't Mum understand that?

Lily

* * *

Later, 11:23 PM

My room

It was James. He wanted to know what I was up to and how I was feeling. We haven't talked in a while because we have very different lives. James is a jock to put it lightly, and I am a "Goth." No one expects us to connect, and I don't think we do. But that doesn't mean we can't have friendly brother-sister talks.

Anyways, we talked for a while, but I didn't tell him about Mum's journal. It just didn't seem right. We just had the catastrophic events of Christmas, and I don't want to bring something else up that would just—bother someone. I'm sure Mum would get mad, as would Dad and my brothers would read it and find something weird with it.

I sound really—I dunno, I don't think I sound like myself. I think I am missing Hogwarts. I miss the chaos, the weirdness, and the hogwartyness of it. I just miss school and everything about it, I don't belong at home, and I can feel it. Somehow, I know that the walls of Hogwarts will feel more like home than this place ever will.

Lily

* * *

Later

My Room

I was skimming through all of Mum's blank pages, and came across this:

_12 December 1999, 4:56 PM_

_Harry's house_

_I think I am pregnant. _

* * *

End Note: Oh…cliffy!

Please Review.


	26. Happy New Year Is a Hypocritical Stateme...

_The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter_

_Chapter Twenty-Six: Happy New Year Is a Hypocritical Statement_

Authors Note: Some time in February I'll be out do to health issues and mad doctors.

Disclaimer: Never listen to the Lonestar song, "I'm Already There" when Lily is having an emotional breakdown. It's depressing. This isn't mine.

Dedication: To the caring nurses who gave me Novocain and morphine.

* * *

Later

My room

My mother was pregnant at age 17. My brothers and I were not conceived until she was 20. Where the hell are my missing siblings? Because, if she was pregnant, then she would have given birth, right? And then those children would have been part of the Potter family. But there are no other children. So what happened to the other children?

Lily

* * *

December 31st, 5:56 PM

The Kitchen

It's New Years Eve. What joy. A new year. Another sad wasted time in my life. This means that school starts in…no…five days!!! WHY???

School can't start! My life is starting to fall apart! Why is school starting again? It can't start again!

Mum has been really withdrawn lately. I mean, that's nothing unusual for her around this time of year, because about twenty years ago, there was an attack on new years ago Voldemort attacked a New Years Eve party and killed a lot of people, and New Years Day is also the day that he was killed. I don't see why Mum would be sad about that, but I guess she was at that party, and was one of the few that survived. She always gets really sad. It's kinda depressing, and Dad tried his best to cheer her up, but nothing seems to work.

Someone is screaming for me upstairs, so I must go.

Lily

* * *

Later

My room—grounded

I left Mum's journal lying around, and she found it, and figured out that I had it. We had a huge fight, and I yelled about how she is hiding something from us, and she said I was grounded, and here I am. Sitting in my room, cold, alone, grounded. –Sigh-

Well, it kinda figures, with karma and everything, but this is really a crappy way to start out a new year. I know that she will find some way to hold it above my head for a long time and never let me have any peace. I'm considering running away again. But that will do no good.

Write more later,

Lily

* * *

January 1st, 6:54 AM

St. Mungo's

Nothing happened to me, I swear. But it's such a joy to ring in the New Year in a hospital. And for once, it wasn't me! No, it was Jay. She had a mental breakdown.

We were all sitting around my living room doing stupid things when someone asked Bray what vampires do on their days off, when Jay suddenly started crying. She fell on the floor and was shaking, and when Sean tried to calm her down, she magically threw him across the room. Bray just ran out of the room, and came back with a goblet of blood, saying

"Oh…she didn't take it! Why?" And grabbed Jay and forced some blood down her. It seemed to help a little, but then Jay threw Bray across the room magically as well. Dad finally stunned her, and told us all to go to bed, and took Jay to the ministry to have her looked at. All the while Bray was screaming,

"No! They don't understand! Please! Don't take her there!" But Dad just shook his head and flooed over, making sure to lock the floo so no one except him or Mum could floo.

Mum ushered the rest of us to bed, and Bray locked herself in her room. I went to my room and sat in my bed, crying, wishing that everything could be better.

Dad came back later, and told us that Jay was at St. Mungo's, and she just had a breakdown. So here we are, really the only family that Jay and Bray has that cares enough to be here with them, sitting in the waiting area of St. Mungo's. Dan is asleep right next to me. He looks so sweet when he sleeps. Like an angel. But anyways…Bray has run off to some part of the hospital, supposedly to find some alone time, and the rest of us are…here.

Lily

* * *

Later

St. Mungo's

Dan and I just got back from making out. It was nice. Jay's calmed a bit. Well, enough for Bray to come near her without being blasted across the hall. Which is an improvement from three hours ago. They sent in some people who are "trained" in dealing with vampires. They have no idea what is going on with Jay, just like the rest of us. But the ministry is stupid, and insists that any magical "creatures" be investigated when they could be a threat to others. My best friends are not creatures! Special ministry task force people had to question Bray to make sure that she and Jay were dinking blood on a regular basis, taking some potion, and all this crap.

I dunno…everything has been really weird since Christmas. I've considered running away to Ron's several times because Mum is really getting on my nerves. I can feel my relationship with Dan falling apart again. It's just not working out between us. I mean, we both like each other, but when we do go out…there's nothing. I think I was better off single. It's just better that way. I just have to figure out a way to dump Dan.

Lily

* * *

January 2nd, 4:56 PM

My Bedroom

Dad took us home yesterday, letting Jay and Bray be alone at the hospital. Their magical parents were supposed to show up today, and this would be the first time they would meet their real parents. Bray was nervous about it, and Jay was too doped out to care. The healers gave her some powerful stuff, because she is hardly conscious.

Dan talked to me today. He was complaining about how his dad has been on his case lately about finding his own flat, and wanted to know if I wanted to go flat hunting with him today. I said no, and so here I am, sitting in my bed, trying to figure out a way to dump Dan. It's hard. I don't know what to say to him, and I have no idea how to go about this. Should I give him a letter? Or tell him in person? It's confusing.

I'm going to eat.

Lily

* * *

January 3rd, 5:45 AM

I'm going to tell him in person.

No, in a note.

No. In person. It's much more personal.

But he dumped me in a note.

But I don't follow the crowd.

But not doing it in person makes me seem like a coward. And that's the last thing I want to come off as.

A letter would make things simple though.

But in person just seems better and more mature.

I'm lost. I don't know what to do.

Lily

* * *

January 5th, 5:45 PM

Great Hall

Back to school. Great. But hey, that's what being seventeen in the wizarding world is about, right? Going to school, having your band never come to life while you are at school, see one of your friends nearly die; break up with your boyfriend…

And that part I haven't done yet. I know, I should, but have you ever really thought about it? I mean, first off, how do you go about breaking someone's heart who really loves you? We have both tried to make this relationship work, but its not, and I am not taking his route and breaking up with him in a letter. That's the route that hurts more I think. So I'll be doing it in person. But what do I say?

Lily

* * *

Later, 10:23 PM

My dorm

I talked to Bray about it. Jay is still in Mungo's and I think I might sneak out on night and talk to her about it. Bray said that I should tell him that we need a break from each other, but that means that it will come off to Dan that I still think there is hope that we will get back together. Which I know will never happen.

In other news, they got a new Transfiguration teacher. Her name is Professor Malfoy. Yes, Hermione is teaching Transfiguration. And Dan and Drew are in absolute shock. I mean, we can't do _anything _when she is around. Nothing. If we do, my mum finds out, and that can bring nothing but horror.

I dunno…I want Jay to come back, and besides Hermione teaching here, nothing new has happened. Professor McGonagall said that exams are going to be next week, so about everyone is cramming for exams, except me. I don't see the point in taking them. I mean, how are grades going to help me in ten years when I'll probably be unmarried with a kid living off of welfare in the streets! I've tried to tell Mum that, but of course she won't hear it. I don't think that she realizes that the only reason anyone in her year graduated from Hogwarts was if they could stun someone, which isn't really basis to graduate someone.

But, life's supposed to be like this. It's supposed to not make sense. Right now I want nothing more than to just be out of my relationship with Dan and to have my two best friends in good health, and get Hogwarts over with. I know I'll be a failure. Look at this diary! I mean, sure I saved Dan from house elves and uncertain death, but what other great things have I done? Nothing! I have to work hard for my grades, and I am hardly passing Herbology! It's just difficult right now! Who am I?

WHO AM I??????

Everyone knows me as Harry and Ginny Potter's daughter or they find out what my name is, and get teary eyed because they think of what happened on Halloween a long time ago!

But what about me? How can you define who I am? There is no way to! My spot in a band is completely hopeless, every single relationship I am ever in fails, and I don't know how to change anything. I need a break.

Lily

* * *

Later

My dorm, in tears

I just saw Dan kissing Libby in the hallway.

* * *

End Notes: I know, cliffy again. I was proof reading, and that came to me. Heartache is fun to write in the holiday season.

I would forever love everyone if you reviewed. You all read this because you think it is funny. Not because Lily hates life and her boyfriend cheats on her.


	27. Sex Fetishes

_The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter_

_Chapter Twenty-Seven: Sex Fetishes_

Authors Note: La la la…It's SNOWING!!! Yes, I, The Red Haired One, am in the middle of a freak Midwestern SNOW STORM!!! So, because of this, I will be writing more than normal! I'm a procrastinator, so reports and essays are not getting done. The local rock station is playing random Christmas carols with a rock twist; I'm listening to one now. EVERYTHING IS WHITE!!!

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.

Dedication: TO THE FREAK MIDWESTERN SNOW STORM!!!

* * *

January 6th, 1:56 AM

My dorm

I know Dan wasn't having any input into what happened. It's all Libby's doing. It has to be. Dan would never do that to me. I know he wouldn't. I know Dan, and he loves me, he would never hurt me like that.

I think…I mean, it's not something that Dan would do. Is it? It just doesn't seem like Dan would cheat on me. He loves me too much. Libby must have something to do with this. She hates me, she probably cornered him and knew I was coming out at that moment, grabbed him, shoved herself against the wall with Dan on top of her and started attacking his face. That's the only explanation. Dan loves me, and even though our relationship was failing, I know he cares enough about my feelings not to do that, right?

Lily

* * *

Later, 12:34 PM

The library

Librarians are so friendly. I decided to ask if there was anything in the books on that New Years Eve night when Voldemort was killed, trying to figure out if that night could have anything to do with what happened to the missing siblings.

I found this journal entry on one of the very last pages of Mum's journal, which made me think that maybe that night had something to do with it. This was the entry:

_13 December, 1999_

_When I made my last entry, I had gone to a healer right after that. I am now three months pregnant with Harry's child. Mum is going to kill me, we aren't even married. And with the way the war is turning these days, I don't think we ever will…_

On that night, Mum would have been four months preggers. But what happened? What occurred to make that child non-existent today? That's why I'm at the library, trying to figure it out. Madam Sage gave me a ton of books, so I am going to try to work through all of them and figure out what happened.

Lily

* * *

Later, 7:58 PM

The Library

Um…I've found nothing. There was a fatality list, and on it was "Unborn Child—Magical," but who knows. That could mean nothing. But it could. Mum could have lost the child that night or something. That'd explain why she gets really sad around that time of year. I need to do some more research into that.

One thing about staying in the Library all day is that I can hide from Dan here. I haven't seen him all day, but James came in here to tell me that Dan has been looking for me all day. Well, this is all I have to say to Dan:

It's over.

I've been looking for a reason or way to break up with Dan this whole time, right? Well, now I have it. He can't even stop himself from being attacked from Libby, and I can live without him. I know I can. I've spent my whole life except for this year living without a relationship with him, and I can live without it again. It's not going to kill me.

Oh, there's an owl for me,

Lily

* * *

January 7th, 3:23 PM

History of Magic

The owl was from Dad, once again reminding me of learning how to drive when I come home over break. He's driving me nuts. Honestly, I don't see the point in learning how to drive. None of my brothers have to, so why should I?

Besides Dad annoying the hell out of me, I finally decided to end it with Dan. I did it at breakfast. This is what happened:

Me: Dan, I need to talk to you.

Dan: (Swallowing food) about what Lily?

Me: Us.

Dan: Uh…great!

Me: Right. I think its time we—

Bray: Lily! Jay is coming back tomorrow!

Me: Bray! Shut up! I'm trying to tell Dan something very important!

Bray: Oh dear lord!

Me: What?

Bray: You're pregnant!

Dan: (Gasps) YOU ARE! WHO'S THE FATHER? IS IT ME? LILY, WE NEVER HAD SEX!

Me: (Muttering) Oh dear God…why?

Bray: DAN'S NOT THE FATHER? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?

Dan: YOU CHEATED ON ME?

Me: NO, DAN! IF ANYONE CHEATED ON ANYONE IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, IT'S YOU!

Dan: Shoot. You found out.

Me: DARN RIGHT I BLOODY FOUND OUT! HOW COULD YOU?

Bray: So…you're not pregnant?

Me: Go eat breakfast Bray, I'll explain later.

Bray: Okay.

Dan: Look—

Me: No. No looking. We are over. Goodbye.

And then I stormed out. Of course, after I grabbed some coffee and toast. I went to Abby's rooms because she said I could talk to her if I ever needed to, and when I get there, the door was open, and Abby and Ron were on her couch, having sex. I swear, am I the only virgin left in the school? Probably, the first years get more action than me! This school has a sex fetish. That has to be it. This school has a sex fetish. I'm going to die a virgin.

But at this point, I really could care less because I am convinced men are cheating pigs. That's what they are. I'm convinced of it.

Class is ending, and I need to get the homework down before I fail this class.

Lily

* * *

Ten Minutes Later

Potions

Snape has to be the most evil person in the world. Besides the fact that he keeps the dungeons at sub-zero temperatures, he has also partnered me with Libby for our stupid potions exam. Libby could care less about Potions grades, we all know that once she graduates, her and her boyfriend are getting married in the Caribbean and living off of what money his dad made from muggle diamond mines—that, and her boyfriend is the sole heir to the biggest fortune this side of the Atlantic Ocean.

So she obviously has no reason to actually work to get good grades to get a good job to support herself with. That, and we hate each other. Mortal enemies should not be partnered together in Potions. We could kill each other. I could seriously injure her with a spoon or something! And she might cover me in lipstick and foundation, or cover my robes in bright pink eye shadow! Snape needs to be informed of this. We could seriously injure innocent civilians.

But I have another reason to hate Libby. She's the reason I broke up with Dan.

* * *

Authors Notes: Well, all of you who were aggravated by my lack of explanation about the missing Potters…hold on. It'll all be revealed soon enough. Be patient. Please. It's coming.

I'm challenging all of you. **Ten reviews**. Ten reviews for updating within five days of my last post. That's a miracle I tell you. And as a Christmas Present to me. And I'll give you this chapter and maybe another chapter for Christmas. And Hunakka and Kuanza for those who don't celebrate Christmas.

And I would like to say, for this story, it's taken me 26 chapters to get even an "Almost Flame". Wow, you guys are the best. Because that's better than the three chapters it took me when I wrote "Silent Night" because people started asking if I was crazy.

As always, review, and Happy Holidays!

Red


	28. Life's Life, There's No Fixing It

The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Life's Life, There's No Fixing It

Authors Note: Nineteen inches of snow. 300 reviews. Life is grand. Well, so here in the Midwest, your only hope of travel is four-wheel SUV's, and as I do not have an SUV, I'm stuck here, writing you all chapters!

Disclaimer: I'm not releasing a book on July 16th. So no, I do not own Harry Potter and friends or foes.

Dedication: To Midnight, who had the 300th review!

* * *

Later

Potions, still

Libby decided that our work area smelled like dead rodents, which, I kindly informed her, is because of the dead mouse in the corner, but she said it was me, and attacked me with some designer perfume. So to make problems worse I now smell like dead flowers.

She's refused to let me brew the potion, so I'm here, writing, while she files her nails and flirts with Blake, her boyfriend. Wait…if Dan cheated on me with Libby then...Libby cheated on Blake! I'm going to point this out to her.

Lily

* * *

Five minutes later

This is what happened.

"Libby?"

"What, dork?"

"You know how Dan cheated on me with you?"

"So, why do you care? It's not like he was a good snog anyway."

"Didn't you cheat on Blake then, too?"

"Silly, no! Blake's the one who suggested I kiss Dan anyway to break you two up!"

I obviously stopped talking then. But Snape just HAD to come by our cauldron at that point.

"Miss Potter," he sneered, "Why is there no potion brewing?"

"Ask Libby. She's the one who said I don't know anything about potions and banned me from making anything."

"You get a zero for today's class, Miss Potter. One more lie from you, and I'll send you to the Headmistress' office."

Everyone hates me today. Seriously. Oh well. I'll just go to dinner and head to the library. Madam Sage saved me all those books and I'll do my homework there. None of my mortal enemies go there, so it should all be good.

Lily

* * *

Later, 7:55 PM

The Library

Okay…I think I figured out what happened that night.

I think that due to some sort of spell or something, Mum lost the baby. That's what I think. I could be wrong, but that's what I think. I mean, it seems like that could happen, because in one of the books I read it said, "On that night both innocent and guilty blood was shed that night. Even one's whose life should not have been touched by that event, was, and unjustly so." Plus, the one unborn child on the fatality list. The only way to know that this is right is to owl Mum, but I don't feel comfortable doing that yet.

I've decided that my Potions grade will not suffer Libby's wrath, so I will brew the potion on my own time, write the report on my own time, and find some way to get back Libby on my own time.

Lily

* * *

January 11th, 9:30 AM

Muggle Studies

I have come up with a list.

Lily Potter's List of Possible Revenge on Libby Unwyn

1. Kiss her boyfriend—no, scratch that, I'm not kissing Blake. EVER.

2. Cover her in black clothing. That'll scar her for life.

3. Charm eye liner to write, "I AM A POMPUS LOSER" on her forehead.

4. Spill a vat of grease on her.

5. Tell her that her family has gone bankrupt do to her massive amounts of Magical Surgery to fix her feet.

6. Steal her foundation. She wears too much anyway. Only, I think she has twenty more cases in her bag.

7. Turn her friends against her. Uh…I'll skip that one. I don't think she has any friends.

8. Take pictures of Blake kissing a house elf. That'd be great.

9. Slip Polyjuice Potion into her drink so she'll turn into a leaf. Then I'll blow her up. And tear the pieces to bits.

10. Don't murder her, just seriously injure her ego.

11. Turn her hair blue

12. Bitch slap her

I personally like numbers 11 and 12. I think I'll do that. She ruins my life, I harm her ego.

Jay came back today!!!!! This fact is making me very happy! She's okay, she looks really pale, but told me that she'll spend today in the Hospital Wing and then come back to class soon. This is great, because Bray was really feeling the strain of not having her twin around, and I was getting generally annoyed because I didn't have someone to vent to.

Lily

* * *

January 12th, 12:34 PM

The Great Hall

I completely forgot Hermione taught here. Completely forgot. This is why I now dread Transfiguration.

Hermione was in the Great Hall when I publicly broke up with Dan, right? So she pulls me aside after class today to ask me about it. This is how it went:

"Lily? Can I talk to for a moment?" I was like…no.

"Sure Professor Malfoy."

"I saw your break up with Dan the other day. Do you mind telling me why?"

"Yes. I do mind telling you, Professor. It's my problem."

"Lily, Dan is my son. You are going to tell me why."

"Fine. I caught him making out with Libby. Okay?" And then I walked away. Sometimes I just wish my parents hadn't bothered to make friends. Because all of their school friends try to act like my parents. It's extremely annoying.

Anyway, so I sit down at the table to eat, and everyone stares at me. I don't get it, until a second year leans over to tell me that my skirt is tucked into my underwear, because I hadn't bothered to put my robe on after class. I swear my days are getting worse.

I'll write more when I figure out how to be invisible.

Lily

* * *

Later

The Library

I've decided to owl Mum about the "Missing Potter" as I've dubbed it. I really don't want to, but it's been bugging me, so I've worked up the courage to owl her about it. Now…what to say?

Hullo Mum!

Care to inform me on information on your first child?

No…she'd murder me.

Hey Mum!

I read your jour

Uh, no.

Mum,

I found out that when you were about 17 or 18, you were pregnant.

That's a good start. I'll just continue on that and see where it gets me.

* * *

January 20th, 2:30 PM

Slytherin Girls Dorms

Exams are FINALLY over. I thought on of the first years was going to combust the other day. He ran around, naked, screaming about summoning charms that a third year was working on, and ran into a potted plant and started cursing out the potted plant, and attacked a second year, and then some sixth years grabbed him and stunned him and took him to the Hospital Wing.

Jay nearly clawed me to death when she FINALLY arrived to Transfiguration the other day and I told her it was the day we took our exam. She looked murderous, so I summoned a cup of blood and gave it to her. The Healers said that she hadn't been getting enough blood, and when she finally felt the deprivation, she broke.

Meanwhile, I turned in the potion, and Libby started screaming at me because she turned in nail polish remover and I made the correct potion, a Calming Potion. Then Snape said that we had to try our potion on one of our partners, so Libby drank the calming potion and fell asleep. It's not my fault she thought ¼ was four cups. As usual I have detention with Snape for giving her too much. Oh well, life's life. There's no fixing it.

* * *

End Notes: You are all wonderful. 300. I went into shock when I saw that. I ran into my mom's room, screamed, "I HAVE 300 REVIEWS," and fell on the floor in shock, laughing and basically convulsing. Yes, I am insane.

I love you all; you are the warmth in my snow filled world.

As always, review.


	29. Maid of Horror

_The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter_

_Chapter Twenty-Nine: The Maid of Horror_

Authors Note: Never in my life did I think I was going to get to this point. But I have. Almost thirty chapters. Wow. I'm in a mood, so Lily's going to be quirky. I started doing some deep thinking into Lily's character…so this chapter is going to be different from all the others. Sort of like chapter seven, only not like it. It's confusing, but you'll understand once you read.

Review Responses at the bottom.

Disclaimer: (I've pulled a Random Friend into this unknowingly.)

Me: Do I own Harry Potter and Co.?

Random Friend: No

Me: Thank You.

Me: "I thought it was Maid of Horror, or something like that." What movie is that line based off of?

Random Friend: I dunno

Me: "Freaky Friday". Get it together, man.

Dedication: To all my reviewers. Because you're not getting a chapter for a long time. Something called "School".

* * *

January 25th, 9:30 AM 

My Dorm

I've toilet papered Libby's dorm. And stolen all her cosmetics and thrown them out in the snow. Wahahahaha!!! Feel my revenge bitch!

Yes. I'm feeling good. I've just wreaked havoc on my archenemy, its all good. She'll never live after all her cosmetics have been destroyed. And there is nothing she can do about it.

Yes, I am evil.

Lily

* * *

Later, 7:30 PM

The Library

I just got back from detention. With Hermione of all people! She said I shouldn't have done that to Libby because it lowers me to her level, but do I look like I care? She's trashed my life since I met her in Daycare, and has never let me rest since then! And what have I done? Nothing! I haven't bitten back until now.

Some third year ratted me out when they saw me flying up to the Hufflepuff seventh year dorm window. Libby ran into the Great Hall at breakfast completely covered in toilet paper, and screaming.

"Did you do that?" Bray asked me. I nodded.

"Great job!" Jay said. Of course Libby started screaming, and the third year yelled,

"IT'S HER! THAT LILY GIRL! I SAW HER!" And Hermione hulled my arse into detention lecturing me on "delinquency" and how I "can never behave like an adolescent my age should." Then I asked her if she wanted me to fight for house elf rights, or something like that, and she said yes, and launched into another lecture on how house elves are treated and why she doesn't own any.

So I've just gotten out of detention and I decided to go to the library to work on homework, but that's not happening, an owl just dropped a letter and a howler off. And it's Saturday for goodness sake!

Lily

* * *

Ten Minutes Later 

Well, I have to say I got yelled at for what I did to Libby. But Dad, in true fashion, slipped in a "Good Job Lily." And then Mum started screaming at him whilst angry at me.

Anyway…the letter. She told me what happened that night. I don't have time to write it in here, but basically she was hit with a stunning spell and fell down three flights of stairs and nearly killed. So she obviously lost the baby. Which is really sad. I started crying and a fifth year threw some tissues at me. I feel guilty. I shouldn't be here. There should be some other child, another Potter, perhaps named Ben or something like that. Not four children, who due to an extremely strong receiving spell were born at the same time. My brothers and I shouldn't even be _alive_.

This really puts into perspective what Voldemort really did to people's lives. He murdered and unborn _baby_. How cruel could he possibly be? That's just…evil. And Mum said Dad blamed himself for it. Because he couldn't stop Voldemort before, so his unborn child—it was a boy they later learned—had to suffer. I don't think Dad should blame himself. It's not his fault Voldemort was like that.

It kinda makes me realize how safe we are today. We know that evil wizards to Voldemort's standards will never come into existence again. We know that. But then, anything was possible. Is it really that hard to believe that just twenty years ago the world was nothing like it is today? That's scary to me.

Lily

* * *

January 27th, 2:45 PM 

Transfiguration

Right. So everything is just weird right now. I kinda regret asking Mum, but in some ways it was good, because now I know. And it's not a secret anymore.

I got an owl today from Sirius, he's training for Quidditch right now, because he hopes to go out for England soon. Luna's pregnant. I'm like, great. Next New Years Eve she'll be carrying around a baby. Wonderful. Since Mum is her best friend, there'll be some sort of party, which half of wizarding society is going to be invited to.

Hermione is asking questions, so I need to act like I know what the hell she is talking about.

Lily

* * *

Later, 7:30 

The Library with Jay and Bray

Jay and Bray are fighting over a wedding dress. Bray wants to design Jay a dress, but Jay hates the dress she drew, and wants Bray to design one similar to one in a catalog their "real" parents sent her, and Bray refuses, as she will not be in the same league as a designer outfitter, and will not wear lavender on her bride's maid dress. I have yet to mention that no one will ever get me in any dress besides the one I wore to the New Years Eve Party.

"Why don't you just elope?" I suggest, I'll mention the dress thing when Jay is in a better mood.

"WHAT? ARE YOU INSANE?" Jay asks me.

"Yes, yes I am." I reply.

"That's brilliant! Jay, elope." Bray chimes in.

"What?"

"Elope."

"Sean will never go for it. It was his idea to have a traditional wedding anyways." Great. Bray's summoning Sean. And here he comes flying now. Sometimes having friends like them can be a little trying.

"Sean! What a surprise!" Bray says. "How do you feel about eloping?"

"With you?" He asks.

"No. With Jay. Over Valentines Day or something."

"Uh…"

"Oh, this is ridiculous." Jay says, closing her book. "Sean, Bray's just feeling tension about being my Maid of Honor."

"I thought it was Maid of Horror, or something like that." I speak.

"No Lily, its HONOR, not HORROR. And I thought Bray was dense." Jay sighed.

"No, I think it's a great idea. Jay, we're eloping." Sean says.

"WHAT?" Jay, Bray, and I scream.

"Shut up back there!" Madam Sage yells.

"Yes. Over Valentines Day. Lily and Bray can be our witnesses. I'll get two groomsmen together, and we'll get married." And he walks away, but comes back for his shampoo.

"So, I guess I'm eloping then." Jay says, shaking her head and collecting her books.

"Yes, it would seem that way." I say.

* * *

REVIEW RESPONSES 

**Merusa**—_I'm delighted that you like the story. I find that while people find this story humorous, I often take what happens in my life and in some way twist it so it'll fit into the story. Lily is the person I find myself always wanting to be—extremely care free and her problems are often ridiculous. I have been told this story is my "autobiography told through different people" and I think it's great that you can relate to the characters._

**Baily**—well, thank you for my first flame! It'll keep me warm on this frigid night. I know you are not reading this, but I think you need to **realize **something. The character is a seventeen year old girl. The story is being written by an equally stupid teenage girl. Seventeen year old girls are often stupid, exaggerate, and sometimes "cheesy" as you put it. I myself find I am like that. I'm deeply sorry it sounded too "valley girl", and can't help it that I am in Midwestern America and who I was (and am still being) raised as. Hell, I've never gone to Canada. I have seen bits of Mexico without crossing the border, though. And they have MTV in England people.

**Jaessa**—_hullo. Well, no, it's not weird to feel depressed by this story, I almost cried while writing this chapter. I HIGHLY discourage ANYONE from listening to the song, "The Truth" by GC while reading this chapter. I put it on repeat when I was writing this and nearly cried._

**Glittericous**—I hope this solved your question.

* * *

Please be a reasonable reader and review. 

_This message brought to you by freezing authors whose fathers do not believe in indoor heating._


	30. They Should Name the Hospital Wing After...

_The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter_

_Chapter Thirty:They Should Name The HospitalWing After Me_

Authors Note: I am in the midst of exams, and felt that I have deprived you of chapters long enough. That, and no one is updating!

Dedication: To the store, CD Connection. You have no idea how much I love you right now.

Disclaimer: I do not own the following:

--Harry Potter and related peoples.

--Music Revolution in England

--Valentines Day and anything associated with it.

--And thats all I can think of.

* * *

February 1st, 6:50 AM

Bathroom

Why must I get up this early? Wait…its coming back to me…oh yeah…school. I must have forgotten about it. Hmm…

Anyways, everything is really boring. Dumbledore still hasn't come back, I'm STILL serving detention with Hermione for pranking Libby. Which insanely sucks, but I'll live.

Remus wants to get a tattoo. So he writes home, and yesterday he got a howler from—Uncle Bill of all people! It was weird, but he said our parents were vacationing in Hawaii to "take a break". I was like…and they didn't TELL US? WHAT IF ONE OF US DIED? Then Hermione said Bill was staying at our house for that very reason. I have such concerned parents.

Lily

* * *

Later

Jay has been skipping more classes. She didn't even bother going today. I walked in, and there she was, sitting on my bed, listening to music, alphabetizing my text books by publication date. I'm thinking, why?

Jay said that the reason she is skipping is that she is bored. She doesn't see the point in going to class if all she is going to do is sleep through class. She'd rather sleep in her own bed. But still! What are her "parents" going to say?

Her response: They don't care. Their parents wanted them to know where they came from and that's about it. Their parents personally know the vampire who bit them when they were young, but they refuse to give names. As awesome as being a half vampire is, it is stressful. I can tell that. Both Bray and Jay are extremely stressed, something about the sixteenth anniversary of being a half-vamp. Something happens. I dunno, Bray has been giving windows weird looks.

Lily

* * *

February 2nd, 4:45 PM

This is Sirius. I've kidnapped my sister's diary. I feel evil for doing this. Remus wants a tattoo? Wow, I never knew that.

The purpose of why I am writing this: Jay has clobbered Lily because Lily suggested Jay elope. So Lily is in the Hospital Wing, completely knocked out, and I felt that since all important events should be recorded in this stupid book, (honestly, this is what Lily said in her sleep. Minus the stupid book bit.) That I should have the ability to write what happened. So this is what commenced:

EARIER THIS MORNING

JAY: Lily, I need to speak to you.

LILY: Why not.

BRAY: DON'T GO LILY! SHE'LL KILL YOU!

JAY: Don't listen to her. She's more likely to commit murder than me any day.

LILY: You have a point…

And then they left the Great Hall. The next thing we knew, Jay was screaming, and Lily was screaming back, Bray, Sean, and Drew went flying out of the hall. Bray was started screaming as well. James, Dan, Remus and I continued munching on bacon sandwiches.

Snape ran out of the hall, and began stunning people, we think. Jay was locked in an unannounced room, Lily was taken to the Hospital Wing, and everyone else were given detention. The last anyone heard of Jay, she was screaming the following:

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'M TIRED OF IT! PLEASE, SOMEONE, MAKE IT ALL END!"

I hope that's up to Lily's standards. I don't know how she writes.

Later quidditch lovers,

Sirius

* * *

February 3rd, 12:20 PM

The Hospital Wing

My best friend has been taken to St. Mungo's for evaluation. Ever since Christmas, something has been off, and no one knows what. Not even Bray. Speaking of Bray…

Among my numerous…okay, five get-better cards, was a black card. I opened it, and wished I hadn't. Bray figured out how to recreate the time when I ambushed the Quidditch team with crappy muggle pop music in the card. Brittney Spears was screeching as I read the card. I think she is getting bored, or trying to get her mind of what is happening to Jay. Even Bray wouldn't submit herself to the torture of that card.

True to his word, Uncle Bill showed up as soon as he found out something happened to me. Of course, his wife showed up, gave me some weird medication, and made Bill come home, and let my parents handle it.

I'm exhausted. They have drugged me beyond belief.

Lily

* * *

February 5th, 12:30 PM

Hospital Wing

Jay came and visited me this morning. She is suffering from stress. The Giant Penguin Incident did something to her mind, apparently. Triggered something in her mind, from a past life perhaps. So she came in to say sorry, and talk about how Bray and she had sorted out the wedding dress fiasco. The solution: Bray design something black. It's weird and unconventional, but the bridesmaid dresses are red. I'm like…dress? And start running in the opposite direction. But I'll tell Jay that later.

Then Jay left, and Bray came running in, waving her beloved sketch book, and started yelling at me. Apparently she has come up with the best dress for me. Then I told her my issue.

Me: Bray I don't _wear_ dresses.

Bray: Of course you do.

Me: Honestly, I don't.

Bray: Sure you do.

Me: No.

Bray: You wore one for Christmas.

Me: That's a once in-a-lifetime event. It will never happen again.

Bray: Even on your wedding?

Me: It'll be combat boots and jeans.

Bray: Li-ily!

Me: (Exasperated) what Bray?

Bray: Please?

Me: Why?

Bray: I've designed a killer dress.

Me: Seriously?

Bray: Dead serious.

Me: Show it to me.

And she did. The dress is burgundy with a corset top-looking thing, and the skirt part flows out and is sort of poofy, but not in a corny way. It kinda…flows, if you know what I mean. Then strands of bell lilies hang off a belt and flowed down the dress. There are, of course, black and white accents, as Jay's wedding dress is white with black accents and a hint of burgundy in the trim. It almost makes me want to wear it.

Me: I…I'll wear it.

Bray: Really?

Me: Yeah. Just don't push it.

Then Bray and I started talking about Drew, and some pranks those two have worked up. It was like old times, when Libby didn't ruin relationships, best friends were suffering from stress disorders, and family secrets weren't revealed. It was really nice.

But, of course, life is nothing but. Libby ruins relationships, Jay is suffering from a stress disorder, Bray has become increasingly worried for some reason, I know about the original Potters, and in a few months, I'll be gone from Hogwarts and away, out in the real world. It's really scary.

Lily

* * *

February 7th, 8:00 AM

Great Hall

I HAVE FINALLY BEEN ALOWED TO BE WITH THE MASSES!!!

Okay, I'm done. I was released today, which is great. Everyone is eating breakfast, and now McGonagall is standing up.

"Students! I have important news." She is saying.

"Did someone die?"

"Did Voldemort come back?" Some sixth years are asking.

"No idiot! My dad killed him twenty years ago! Read your history book!" That was Remus. Such a good Head Boy.

"Silence! Potter—"

"Yes?" Remus, James, Sirius, and I say at the same time.

"Wha—oh, never mind. This year we are doing something for Valentines Day. Some of our staff—mostly Professor McHenry—have decided that this year should be used to pay tribute to the muggle background of many of our students. This year, students will give flowers, candy, cards, and general tokens of appreciation to their loved ones and friends. And, much to my dismay, classes on that Friday will be canceled. You may now eat your food." And she sat down.

Great. So now, to add insult to injury, we are supposed to give "tokens of our affections" to our loved ones. But what the hell do I get my brothers? Hell, I'll just give them a card.

Lily

* * *

Later, 10:00 AM

Muggle Studies

Today we are learning about the Music Revolution in England, how it affected both muggles and wizards of the twentieth century. So I am filing my nails, trying to figure out how many minutes there are left in the day. Yes, I am that bored.

And now she's moved on to Valentines Day. And our homework is as follows:

Write a 500 essay on the commercialization of St. Valentines Day in the muggle world. Due on the 10th.

Great, homework.

Lily

* * *

February 9th, 10:55 PM

Common Room

Here I am, doing that stupid essay.

The muggle world has branded this day of February as National Love Day in most—

No…that's crap.

St. Valentines Day: Holiday or Day of Pain?

Uh…no. She's kill me. Oh well, I have until after lunch to come up with something, I'll keep working on it.

Lily

* * *

February 10th, 5:02 PM

The Great Hall, listening to Sum 41

I think I'm flunking Muggle Studies. McHenry took one look at the title of my essay, (How Muggles Slaughter Single People) and gave it the evil eye. So I don't know if that means she likes it. I hope she does, because I need to pass that class.

Dinner is here. I'm going to eat, and then write more.

Lily

* * *

Later, I can't see a clock

Detention

I HATE LIBBY!!!!

She came up to me, said, "I can't hide my pimples because of you and bitch slapped me."

"I was like, you deserved it, BITCH!" And slapped her back. Then someone screamed fight, she punched me, I punched her, and then, it was a full-fledged fight. Then, Sprout came up, split us up, and Libby screamed,

"YOU BROKE MY NOSE BITCH!"

And I screamed, "YOU NEEDED IT TO BE BROKEN! IT LOOKS BETTER NOW!" Then we got yelled at for using profanity in a common area.

Also, because of my detention record for this year, I'm up for possible expulsion. Mum and Dad are coming back early, and I can just imagine what is going to happen. I know they won't expel me, I know too much magic for them to do that, and, not that I want to flaunt it, but I'm Harry Potter's only daughter.

Detention-riddled,

Lily

* * *

Thats the ending. Yes, Lily is up for explulsion. Yes, chapter 31 is the big plot-twisting chapter. Yes, it will be a long time before that chapter comes. And yes, this will be finished before July 16th. If not, this author will abandon this fic.

Please review,

Hide your children kiddies!

Red


	31. The Saint Valentines Day Massacre

_The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter_

_Chapter Thirty-one: The Saint Valentines Day Massacre_

Authors Note: Here it is. Are you happy?

Dedication: To my muses. You guys banged me in the head at 1:08 in the morning with a BRILLANT idea that otherwise would have never been used. You guys are great, and I hoped you enjoyed your vacation in Tahiti.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and Co. nor do I own Dracula, pink lilies, and the title. I do own all crappy poetry, because I wrote it myself!

* * *

February 14th, 6:00 AM

My dorm

PINK!!! That's all I see! PINK!!! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED???? Wait…its pink LILIES????

Hold on…there is a note.

**_To my lovely Lily,_**

_**I know our first romance was never sweet**_

_**And I must say I have a broken nose from it.**_

_**But my sweet, dear, Lily,**_

_**We can start anew!**_

_**Say you'll Be Mine, **_

_**And all your worries will go away…**_

_**ADONIS LESTRANGE-MALFOY**_

Someone, gag me, please. ADONIS, THE PERSON MY BROTHERS ATTEMPTED TO KILL, WANTS TO GET BACK TOGETHER. I don't think we were even together.

It's Valentines Day. I just now realized that. And for another year, I have no boyfriend. And it's raining. Well, at least there is no school, but I have to find a way to get rid of these stupid flowers.

Lily

P.S. There are some other stuff from my parents (with a howler from Mum saying that I better shape up or else), my brothers, and various friends and family members, but that doesn't really matter.

* * *

Ten minutes later

Sean just came in here. How, I do not know. Why, that's all I care about.

His groomsmen, who are my brothers, have gone outside, naked, in twenty degree weather to go mud sliding. Sirius is coated in mud, and James is attracting a crowd, because of the size of certain….articles of the human male body.

I'm stopping myself there.

So I asked Sean if the bridesmaids could do the same, and he was like, why not. So I am going to go sliding in mud, like the true seventeen-year-old I am. I don't care if I am up for expulsion, if today is the worst day in the world, and Jay is getting married today. I want to play in the mud darn it!

* * *

Later, 9:20 AM

Slytherin dorms

I got caught in the act. Well, actually, Bray came out, saw me, took off her tie and screamed,

"MUD!" And jumped into the mud. Jay came out, and saw us playing in the mud and nearly killed us. She gave us a lecture on behaving our age and not our shoe size, when Bray pointed out that in order for her to act her age, she would have to join a nunnery or something.

I began giggling, and fell off my chair, and rolled on the floor in hysterics. Jay just screamed, and ran out of the room. I'm still laughing.

Lily

* * *

Ten minutes later

Great Hall

We are having pink biscuits for breakfast. And the house elves are dressed up as cupid. Sirius, intrigued by their getup, yanked off a house elf's outfit. Then the house elf smacked him, and ran away screaming about his shameful nakedness.

Mean while, Jay and Bray got an owl, and both are staring at each other, Jay is whispering no, and Bray just staring with a bug-eyed expression on her face. I've taken the note from them, and this is what it said,

_Misses Jaessa Aisling, and Braessa Kaede,_

_I welcome you into my home, Tepes Manor on the night of_

_14 February (Year Unknown)_

_Please wear evening attire, as this is a formal event._

_It is requested that you bring two pure-blooded male wizards._

_Yours Sincerely,_

_Count Vlad Dracula _

"You guys were turned by Dracula?" I ask.

"It's news to us." Bray said.

"I can't get married." Jay says, "Not with…Dracula wanting to turn us completely tonight."

I turn to Jay. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I don't know about Bray, but I am not going. I'm not going to be fully turned."

"But, Jay…" Bray said.

"No. I'm not getting turned. You can, but I'm not. I care too much about Sean to put that added pressure of having a wife that is a vampire on him. It would kill me to be highly allergic to the sun. I want to enjoy life. Even if that means I have to live it while being in-between beings." And she walked away.

"Maybe she's PMS-ing." Bray said. I slapped my head on the table.

Lily

* * *

Later, Noon

Gryffindor Tower

I have to serve detention tonight for…something. I forget. I have so much detention right now; I forget what half of it's for. Is that sad? You wouldn't know. You're a book.

Jay has locked herself in her room and Bray is sitting next to me, looking sad. She doesn't know if she should go or not.

"Lily…should I go?"

"Go where?"

"You know. To Dracula."

"That's up to you. It's your decision if you want to be a full-fledged vampire. That's your call. I'm not going to decide your life for you."

"Yeah. It's…it seems stupid debating over this, doesn't it? I mean, I'll be a blood-sucking person who will be mythically feared."

"I don't care what you do. I'll still be your friend, just don't get yourself killed."

"Well, I'm going to talk to Drew. Bye."

And that's my life. There's so much drama. Hopefully, after today, things will calm down. But knowing this world, nothing will. Graduation comes in a few months. We graduate on June 21st, the Summer Solstice. There's some meaning with the solstices, don't ask me what it is. Something about good luck.

So…that's today's tragic event. It worries me though. I don't want my friends to become vampires. I like having them be half vampires. I don't want to be judgmental or anything, but having my best friends as vampires…that would be horrible. And Jay called off the elopement! I'm like…just because some blood-sucking weird-o is after you, your going to call off the one thing that means so much to you?

There's an owl for me. I'll talk later.

Lily

* * *

Ten minutes later

Common Room

It was Adonis, again! Will he ever leave me alone? I'm tired of his crappy poetry.

Why did I ever come down here? Some couple just fell next to me, and they're stripping. I could live without—

* * *

Five seconds later

Terribly sorry, a bra just fell on you. I'm leaving this room. Too much sex. Way too much sex. That's something I could honestly live without seeing. Especially since I've never participated in it.

Lily.

* * *

Three minutes later

The hallway

EVEN THE HALLWAY ISN'T SAFE!

Four minutes later

Great Hall

Some idiot was snogging his…boyfriend over my food. My food was then contaminated. So now I can't eat my food, because saliva is all over it.

CAN ANYONE EAT AROUND HERE?

Apparently not. There's saliva on my nose now.

Eww

Lily

* * *

Six minutes later

Hidden in a closet (made sure it was empty before I came in here).

Why are none of the teachers aware of these PDA's? Shouldn't Snape be cracking the whip? Why isn't McGonagall handing out detentions? Why do gay lovers get to make out over my food, whilst I have to suffer on the most horrible day of the year?

Hold on. Someone is breathing behind me.

Lily

* * *

Twenty minutes later

The Slytherin Common Room

Dracula was right behind me. And almost killed me. How can I be so calm about this? I was given a Calming Potion after I ran around screaming for several minutes. Jay was coming back from a snogging session with Sean when she saw me running like there was no tomorrow, and saw Dracula chasing me. She told Dracula he was no longer welcome at Hogwarts. Then he started screaming and vanished.

Weird, I know. But Jay and Sean are still in the Hospital Wing. I'm sitting here with Bray, waiting for them to come back.

Lily

* * *

6:30 PM

Dinner

I get to eat at last! It's so exciting!

Dracula has been looking in the windows, and how I understand why Bray was freaking out about windows. She kept seeing Dracula everywhere she went.

Apparently, today is the Sixteenth Anniversary of their being half vampires. On this day, they are fully turned, and given the Vampire Right of Passage. This includes sucking the blood of one pure-blooded wizard, and numerous other bloody activities. It's really gruesome when someone goes into detail about it. Well, Bray was explaining it, and she's downright morbid sometimes, and that was one of those times.

Well, the people next to me are Frenching, so I'm going to go eat somewhere else.

* * *

Eleven minutes later

Outside the kitchens

OH MY DEAR LORD. I JUST SAW TWO HOUSE ELVES ATTEMPTING TO HAVE _SEX_. I AM SCARRED FOR LIFE.

HELP ME.

Lily

* * *

February 14th, 11:20 PM

The Common Room, sobbing

I have just seen the most horrid thing in the world.

I was walking back from the kitchens, when I heard something dripping by the Slytherin Dungeons. I walked towards the sound, when I saw blood, and lots of it. On the wall, the following was written in blood:

_You can't deny fresh blood forever._

And right below the writing, was a body with its throat slashed. I thought the person looked familiar, when I realized who it was.

The person was James.

* * *

End Note: There. There was the plot-twisting chapter. I bet none of you expected that to happen, did you? I didn't either until I woke up twenty minutes ago, with the idea of possibly killing someone in my head. It's not said that James is DEAD. That's to be decided by this author. I think the ending fits the title, don't you?

Please review. I beg it of you.

**ALSO**: Shameless advertising on my Bio. Check it out. It involves a certain club and free things.


	32. The Battle of Life and Death

_The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter_

_Chapter Thirty-Two: The Battle of Life and Death_

Authors Note: Sorry this took me so long. I was in an inner battle for weeks on end as to whether certain characters should be kept alive or not. One person, who knows nothing of this story, gave me a WONDERFUL idea that will most likely be used in the next chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and friends or foes, nor do I own the title of this chapter. That would come from Good Charlotte's newest CD.

Dedication: To all the healthy people in the world. God bless you. May you never have to suffer the flu.

* * *

February 15th, 12:30 AM

The Great Hall

Hogwarts has been gathered into one room, and all of the girls who had crushes on James are creating a shrine to him in a corner. I wish they would get over themselves. My bother is half-dead, and could possibly be dead right now, and all they can do is gather their pictures of him and "mourn" his "death." HE'S NOT EVEN DEAD YET! DON'T THESE PEOPLE CARE THAT REMUS HAS REFUSED TO COME OUT OF THE HEAD BOY BATHROOM, AND SIRIUS IS FLYING NON-STOP AROUND THE QUIDDITCH PITCH WITH BLUDGERS, NOT BOTHERING TO AVOID THEM?

I guess not.

The Head Girl is screaming about something, so I better go see what it is.

Lily

* * *

Ten minutes later

Same place

Remus tried to drown himself in the bathtub. DO MY BROTHERS CARE? IT'S LIKE, JAMES IS ALMOST DEAD, SO THE OTHER TWO ATTEMPT TO COMMIT SUICIDE! DO PEOPLE NOT CARE THAT A FAMILY NEEDS TO STICK TOGETHER, NOT COMMIT SUICIDE?

Once more, I guess not.

Bray and Jay are sitting next to me. Bray has named the tissue box she is holding. Its name is Fredrick, and it's Italian. Meanwhile, Jay has also named her tissue box. Its name is Bob, and Bob is a penguin in a tissue boxes disguise. I'm sitting here, not naming my tissue box, and crying. My friends are trying to make me smile, but sometimes, that's hard to do. Like when your brother is attacked by Dracula.

"Hark!" Bray is saying, "I have a name for this nameless tissue box!" And she holds up my tissue box.

"What?" Jay asks.

"Nameless!" She says.

"What?" Both Jay and I say.

"Nameless, that's its name!"

Sometimes I wonder where I meet these people.

Lily

* * *

Ten minutes later

Same place

James just died. But, through the healing powers of CPR, he was revived. I guess Dad started freaking out when James died, that he did CPR, and he came back to life. But we'll see how long that lasts.

And now I'm crying again.

But…I just can't stand to loose someone like James. He was always there for me. We had our differences, sure, but he was my little brother, even if it was by a few minutes. I would look after him, and he would do the same for me. He was always there when I needed a mosh pit or a shoulder to cry on, was always there when other girls my age called me a freak because I wanted to take piano and guitar lessons instead of learn how to tap dance and have tea parties. When Mum went away for a weekend with Dad, he was right there with me. He was always the brother to help me nurse my injuries and different mishaps when I would do something stupid.

And now to hear that he's died, and come back, it makes me wish I could be with him and hold his hand while he faces death. It breaks my heart that all I can do is watch those fools build their shrine to my dieing brother…wait a minute….

* * *

Five minutes later

Being hit in the back with votive candles

I went over to the "Potter Worshippers" corner and started throwing their shrine to James in the candles they assembled. So they started throwing votive candles at me, and one person threw a picture of James at me.

Looking at this picture makes me realize how much like Dad James looks. He's an exact replica, except with brown eyes and different glasses, and most days, contacts. It's scary in a way. McGonagall is insisting lights out, but before she does, she's explaining why we're all in here:

"As some of you may know, James Potter was attacked by Count Dracula, himself." Now there's a collective gasp. "And, we have reason to believe that he may still be in the castle. Please, do not panic, we have aurors standing guard, and you will be tightly locked in. Please, if you do talk, whisper, some people may be sleeping."

And now the lights are dimmed and everyone is talking in a hushed roar. I wish they would all shut up; silence would be nice right now.

Lily

* * *

Later, Noon

The Great Hall

We are having my favorite food, tacos, but I can't look at food right now. It makes me want to throw up. James' fan club is glaring at me, and I'm pretty sure that they are planning to catapult beans at my face. But I could care less. This is the only time today that I have not been sobbing.

Remus gave me a big hug, and apologized for trying to kill himself, and said he wasn't thinking properly. Meanwhile, it's pouring down rain, and Sirius is still outside, flying around. I think he's trying to kill himself, even though he knows James is alive. It's Saturday, so there is no class, so it's not like I'm missing anything, but I want Sirius to come back in. I mean, I realize it's his way with dealing what's happening to James, but flying in this weather?

I think I just saw lightening, I'm getting Sirius.

Lily

* * *

February 15th, 6-ish PM

Common Room

As freaky as this sounds, I had a heart-to-heart with Sirius. It was weird, because I never get into a serious discussion with him. He talked to me about how having James attacked was like losing his best friend, and I can relate. Sirius and James were the closest out of all of us. They were the ones who were always together. Remus and I would do things together, and we all did things with each other, but Sirius and James had that bond. They were just…special.

Sirius is up in his dorm, sleeping, hopefully. Remus is with his girlfriend, Gabby. She's a sixth year, and she's really nice. And I'm just kinda…sitting here. Dan is across from me, doing the crossword puzzle in today's Daily Profit, and scratching his head.

"Five letter word for a mean person…." He mumbles.

"Bitch," I answer.

* * *

February 16th, 9:00 AM

Common Room

At 12:56 AM, this morning, James was taken off of life support.

MY BROTHER CAN BREATHE ON HIS OWN!

How exciting is that? I mean, HE'S NOT DEAD!

Okay. I'm going to shut up now.

Lily

* * *

Later

My Dorm

Libby is now the bane of my existence. She was prancing around the Great Hall at breakfast saying how terrible it was that James hadn't died. She was basically yelling in my face how triadic it was that he survived and that my family deserves a loss. She blames James for her break-ups with Sirius and Freddy, one of my cousins. A couple of sixth years around me held me down and prevented me from attacking that bitch, but no one held down Remus, and he attacked her. As a result, Remus is no longer Head Boy, and has been sent home for a week. Sometimes I wish life had turned out differently.

Lily

* * *

So...please review. It would make me feel better. Please? You know you want to. Your so tempted to review. Who cares what your mind says, follow your gut instinct!

Red, an underpaid ill babysitter


	33. I Set The Common Room on Fire

The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter

Chapter Thirty-three: I Set the Common Room on Fire

Authors Notes: Writing this chapter involved listening to a lot of alternative music, playing air guitar and red hair dye. It would be best not to check up on my mental state. Fine. I took a break from science fair and I got tired of random reviews saying weird stuff waiting for me to update.

Disclaimer: I do not own any Harry Potter things. Nope, not I.

Dedication: I dedicate this chapter to….my friends who don't know how important they are. You guys help me when I can't figure out AIM, office assistants for Microsoft Word, and if I should go do insane things that will get me killed. You guys are great. Without you, I would be a disorganized mess with no knowledge.

* * *

February 19th, 9:00 AM

Great Hall

Hermione is convinced that I need to go into crisis counseling. She says that the impact having James being attacked and my other two brothers attempt suicide has scarred my mind. Then she proceeded to give me a lecture on how I'm not the only one who suffers from the pain of James being attacked. Other people care too. I got tired of her lecturing me, so I got up and walked out of her office. So now I have another week of detention.

Sometimes I just wish that my parent's friends would stop acting like my parents. It's nice that they care and everything, but its times like this when I only need one set of parents, not twenty.

Besides that, the media has been all over James' attack. My parents have been owling me; telling me how it's good that I never left Hogwarts, because I would have to fight off the press. I don't really want to do that, so as much as I want to be with James, I'm going to have to stay here.

Bray is going into Hogsmead with the rest of the school who aren't fighting off the press, so I have to give her a list and some money of what to give me. Jay is staying here, and we are going to catch up on homework. Well, I am at any rate.

Lily

* * *

Later, Noon 

Slytherin Common Rooms

I am going to kill Libby. And I don't think anyone is going to stop me. My skin matches my hair. I walked to the Head Dorms to see if Remus had gone home yet, when Libby pops out of nowhere, says something, and the next thing I knew, I was auburn. If this isn't social injustice, then I don't know what is.

So Hermione sees me and lectures me AGAIN on how because my mind is corrupted it has turned my skin auburn. I just wish she would shut up. Or lose the ability to talk. Then, to make matters worse, Snape _skips _down the hallway. He sees me, takes five points from Gryffindor for indecent body color, and then skipped away. I keep telling people the world is ending, but does anyone believe me?

Lily

* * *

Later 

Common Room

I am now green. Jay tired to change my skin color and she turned me green. Don't ask me how, but I'm green now. Bray walked in from being out with Drew all day and thought I had some weird form of dragon pox, and that I was going to die. Then she proceeded to run around screaming that I was going to die because I was green. Once Jay got her to shut up and stop running, we explained to her that it was Libby. Now Libby isn't going to live past graduation.

Right now Jay and Bray are thinking up something horrid I could do to Libby to make her pay for what she did to me. I've run out of ideas, and the two of them are getting tired of pranking each other.

Time for bed, more homework in the morning.

Lily

* * *

February 21st, 8:00 AM 

Great Hall

I have just seen the single most horrid thing in my life. Snape walked up to Sinistra and kissed her.

You can get off the floor now.

A few first years fell off the benches, and the egg that Sirius was about to throw in my hair fell out of his hand. The hall was completely silent, and the only sound you could hear was a third year from Ravenclaw farting. It was if the world had ended. Then, as in normal Hogwarts fashion, ten seconds later, everyone was talking again. Sirius threw egg in my hair, and Dan squirted syrup at my robes.

But still. SNAPE has a better romance life than me. AND I'M NOT PAST SIXTY.

I seriously need some help.

* * *

Later, 11:30 AM 

History of Magic

I just got back from McGonagall's office. I went there for career counseling, and spent twenty minutes talking about how I have no goals in life and such. McGonagall suggested journalism, but I'm not too fond of the press. She said I need to play with my strengths, and my reply was what strengths? What am I honestly good at? What should I do with my life?

Everyone around me is either going on to a wizarding university or going off to some wonderful job in Albania or something like that. Jay has already decided to look into a cure for vampirism, and Bray is going into fashion. But, me? I'm the kid that doesn't know what to do with her life. Right now I'm more worried about making it through lunch, and then we'll see about surviving till dinner. But the rest of my life? I don't know. What should I do with my life?

Lily

* * *

Later 

My Dorm

I've locked myself in my dorm because I need time to myself. I just got an owl from Remus who, unfortunately, had to spend time at home because of being suspended, telling me that James has gotten worse. They don't know if he'll survive the next twenty-four hours, and this is making me feel like insane crap.

I want to be there with him, to be able to be there with Remus as he sees all this, but I can't. The minute I leave this dorm, this castle even, the press will be all over me, hounding me about James, which only makes life ten times worse. I want to be alone, to be able to be normal. But I guess once I was born, nothing was the same. Nothing will ever be normal.

Sirius has a right to know about James, but I have a feeling Remus wrote to him too. My letter was covered in tear stains, and I don't know if that was from Remus or me.

I need a hug.

* * *

February 25th, 7:00 PM 

Common Room

Homework. Eww. Why do teachers insist upon ladling us with homework that they know will never get done? I know N.E.W.T.s are coming up and everything, but really, is giving us so much homework that even the Spanish people of this school turn pale going to fix everything? I mean, seriously, how do teachers expect us to live through these tests if we haven't seen our friends in nearly a week? And that's true, I have had so much homework I haven't seen Jay or Bray in almost four days.

I think we should have a break. Gryffindor house should rebel and demand a week of no homework. Maybe we should do that…earn us a break from homework…

Lily

* * *

Ten minutes later 

My dorm

I forgot Hermione was our head of house. I had gotten some sixth and fifth years to join me in throwing our homework out the window when Hermione comes in and summons all our homework back. This earned another lecture on how homework reinforces what the professor's teach. Urg.

Lily

* * *

Later 

Great Hall

I was listening to a new band Arcadia and was playing air guitar when a second year hit me in the head with a pillow.

In retaliation, I hit her on the head with a cushion. Another second year hit me in the stomach with a pillow, and I threw an oversized pillow at her, which landed in the fire and caught fire. The pillow caught the drapes on fire, and in a few short minutes, most of Gryffindor Tower was ablaze.

I honestly didn't mean to catch the tower on fire…it just happened. Seriously, everything just caught fire and boom, here we are in The Great Hall waiting for the tower to be restored. No one got punished for it because it was a group effort, but I really didn't mean to do it. Really.

Lily

* * *

March 1st, 5:00 PM 

Library

I just met the most amazing person. His name is Heath Claec, and he is a seventh year Ravenclaw. Heath is SO cute. He has black hair which he spikes, and he is really pale because he hangs out in the library reading books on wandless magic. I just met him like five minutes ago, and he is AMAZING.

* * *

End Remarks: So…I have a plot idea to take us to May. I am happy. This will—hopefully—be over in ten more chapters. Hopefully. So please review, join my club (details in my bio) and stick around for ten more chapters!

Red


	34. Hey Big Brother

_The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter_

_Chapter Thirty-four: Hey Big Brother_

Author's Note: I am surprised I am sitting, because I seriously shouldn't, but I am anyways. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, because this is really the second draft of this chapter. And even then I might screw around with this chapter getting it just right. Not that you care.

Another Note: I was reading through this chapter when I realized how much lacking in humor this story is. I am really sorry about that.

**WARNING: Self-mutilation is discussed in this chapter. If you have an issue with this, let me know in a review, and I will e-mail a chapter summary to you.**

Dedication: To my dad, because he is the bestest Dad ever. He is helping my majorly with my projects and got me a Hard Rock Café shirt!

Disclaimer: I don't own any public thing that you have either read or eaten in this story.

Author's Note Two: Review responses at the bottom.

* * *

**WARNING (repeated from the top for those who don't pay attention): Self-mutilation is discussed in this chapter. If you have an issue with this, let me know in a review, and I will e-mail a chapter summary to you.**

**

* * *

**March 11th, 4:50 PM

The Library

The house elves served Big Mac's for lunch. I happened to sneak one in here for Heath, as he found an autobiography on his favorite person in the world, Albert Thompson, lead singer of the band Dead Dog, which is his favorite band.

Heath wants to ask me something, and I have homework and N.E.W.T. revisions to do.

Lily

* * *

Later, 7:10 PM 

Room of Requirement

Heath wanted to take me on a candle light dinner and……..

HE ASKED ME TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND!

I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!

Now you must be thinking that I am insane, to get a boyfriend after the whole Dan thing, but that's in my past. And why should my past haunt me? I owe it to myself to have at least one bit of fun, right? I mean, James has been in the hospital, Remus is still at home, and Sirius has his girlfriend and friends, and this whole time I have been the single girl who does her homework, and sits around, with the incredibly boring life. I need some FUN!

Lily

* * *

March 12th, 4:50 PM 

The Common Room

I was making out with Heath when the sleeves of his robes came up. And there were scars all over them. We stopped kissing, and he just looked at me.

"Lily…" He went, but I wouldn't have any of it. I ran away, and sobbed in a corner of the common room. Heath cut himself. Why would anyone want to do that? Why would he do that? What is he hiding from me? What is so horrible that he cannot tell me about it?

I don't know, and I don't think I'll ever know.

Lily

* * *

Later, 9:00 PM 

The Common Room

Heath has been trying to get in here all evening, but I don't want anything to do with him. He…he…I don't know what he did, but seeing those scars just scared me. Some of them were big and red and disgusting looking. He seemed pretty scared and ashamed that I found out. It's just…he has an issue, I don't know what it is, but I don't think I can deal with it.

Lily

* * *

Three minutes later 

Same place

I just re-read what I wrote. I will once again that I sounded like a selfish bitch. What kind of person decides that they won't go out with someone because there are scars on his arms? I mean, that couldn't even have been from him, it could have been from a nasty tree or something.

Who the hell am I kidding? A tree does not do that to you. Not even the Whomping Willow. He did that to himself. I know he did. But, why?

There is an owl for me, so I am going to go.

Lily

* * *

March 13th, Breakfast 

The Great Hall

At the hospital today, Remus was with James when my parents were home showering and James turned over, saw Remus and went,

"Hey big brother. What's up?" And passed out.

JAMES TALKED TO REMUS! OH MY DEAR LORD! THIS IS SO AMAZING! JAMES ISN'T DEAD!

Is anyone else in shock? Because I am. My brother is not dead, and is on the verge of recovering. I am super happy right now   


* * *

Ten minutes later 

Same spot

Sorry, choked on the corn I was eating. But anyway, this is really good news. I think I am going to tell Heath. Heath is talking to Drew right now, and Drew deserves to know how is best friend is doing.

JAMES ISN'T DEAD!

Lily

* * *

Later, 7:30 PM 

My Dorm

I want to kill Sirius right now. He saw Heath and me in the library and punched Heath calling him a slimy jerk and a suicidal freak. Then he grabbed my hand, and dragged me out of there, and wouldn't let go of my hand until he threw me half-way up the stairs to my dorm. Then he said that if he saw me with Heath again he would kill Heath.

I don't understand it. Why would Sirius do that? What does he have against Heath? I just want to cry, he was so mean. He never had a problem when Dan and I dated, and Dan is just an idiot. I don't understand that.

And why would Sirius call Heath a suicidal freak? How can he know that much about one person who just seemed to come out of the wood work this year? I don't understand it. All I want to do is cry.

Lily

* * *

March 14th, 11:00AM 

History of Magic

As seventh years, we are required to take one month of Health. I want to die. Luna, who is a healer, is teaching this class, and is talking about STD's right now. She is going on about how spells don't protect you from everything, and how you should abstain from having sex until you are married so you do not get AIDS and Crabs. It's nasty, because she is showing us pictures and they are just disgusting.

Luna is paring us up with partners so we can do a report on STD's and I have to work with Libby. I am pissed off right now, because she flipped her hair, looked at me, and said,

"Mrs. Longbottom, do I seriously have to work with this AIDS infected freak?"

I wanted to punch her then, and there.

"I do not have AIDS!" I screamed at her, and slammed my text book on my desk.

"Sure you don't," she sneered. "That's why no one goes out with you; they don't want to get AIDS. Well, besides people who are stupid and suicidal, that is." And then she walked away to gossip with her friends who know more about how to put peroxide in your hair then how to breathe.

Her statement just made me so mad. Why does everyone say that Heath is suicidal? And I know Dan is stupid, but there are honestly reasons that I didn't go out with anyone before him. AND I DO NOT HAVE AIDS!

Luna just stood there, and Binns have Libby detention, and that was that.

So besides the fact that my boyfriend has been labeled a suicidal freak, and everyone thinks I have AIDS, I now have to work with the bitch Libby.

* * *

Later, 7:45PM 

The Library

I cannot find Heath anywhere. It's like he disappeared. I don't know where he went, so I sat down and started on the stupid essay for Health. I know Libby isn't going to do it, so I might as well do it.

Jay and Bray just sat down across from me, and are smiling in a freaky way.

"Lily," they say at the same time.

"We have an idea." Jay says, and pulls out a stack of paper."

"On this paper, we have come up with the ultimate prank to get back at Libby for seven years of torment." Bray said, pulling out a detailed map.

"What have you guys come up with?" I say intrigued.

"The worst prank ever." Bray says. "It'll get her for all those things she has said to you."

"First, we poison her food…"

* * *

**_Review Responses:_**

Ian: My feet's biography.

Jamie: Um…we'll see…

Jaessa: Well, yes, he is alive, and besides the pain in my ass and the sore-ness of my throat, I'm pretty good.

Aerri: I'm glad you like it. Many people think that the adults are too AU, but that's just how I see them in twenty years—off their rockers.

MTthreat: Wow. I am honored that you think I know my vampire stuff really well. The only things I really read were Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice and almost all of 'salem's Lot by Stephen King. Otherwise, I watched too much "Van Helsing" and "Buffy." I just made the rest up. But thank you very much!

Amethyst Wolfe: Is your review an actual review, comment, or a flame? Could you explain this? I mean, you only read the first chapter, and to me that's the worst chapter, and you were already calling Lily a gothic OC. So…if you could clear that up for me, that would be great.

Author's Note 3: I know, it's a really short chapter, but I wrote it in two days, and I only posted the last chapter a week ago. So you guys should be happy.

Please review, I'll write faster, and I want at least ten reviews for this chapter. Do you all think you could do that?

Red


	35. Sometimes I Just Hate My Brain

_The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter_

_Chapter Thirty-five: Sometimes I Just Hate My Brain_

Author's Note: So…here be the next chapter. I know it's short, but it seems like everything I write just comes to a natural stop during the middle of the chapter. It's not my fault! Honestly!

Disclaimer: I am too poor to wear socks. Okay, so I didn't feel like putting any on today, but still. My pants are from Wal-Mart. There you go. So obviously, JKR, people who work at Bloomsbury, Scholastic, or Rainforest publishing companies do not shop at Wal-Mart. No, they live in some large big city (London, New York City and what ever big city is in Canada, respectively) and shop at Gucci. So I am obviously not any of these people. So I do not own Harry Potter and related material, and the following items: eyeliner, Converse All-Stars (Although I own two pairs of them), and AIDS.

Dedication: To the people at my school who have to take the stupid state testing. This is what the state considers the universal solution to the education problem. As much as I love you, I still laugh, because I get to come to school three hours late!

* * *

March 20th, 8:30 AM 

The Great Hall

I'm eating breakfast with Heath, and Jay and Bray are finally getting into the final plan for this prank on Libby. It's taken a lot of planning, but we finally came up with something. It's the best thing we have ever come up with. It's even better than that time I attacked the quidditch team with crappy muggle pop music. No, this is WAY better.

We are turning Libby into a fish. And then we are going to feed her to Mrs. Norris.

No, I wish we could, but I already have too much detention, I am still up for possible expulsion, and I don't want anyone to die, even if she is my arch nemesis.

So instead, we are going to turn her hair into Medusa look-alike snakes, only instead of becoming stone, people will not be able to stop laughing. Then, at lunch, her boyfriend will suddenly morph into a giant spider, and then she will be turned into a giant squid for three days. No one is going to be injured, and if anything, the worst thing that could happen is that Libby gets her hair wet.

This is going to be perfect. I can hardly wait for another five days.

Lily

* * *

Later, Noon 

Library

Heath has pulled me in here, saying that he wanted to talk to me. He set me down in the Transfiguration section of the Library and walked away. I don't know where he went, but it's getting a little odd, because Madam Sage is giving me a weird look, and glancing at the clock on the wall. Yes, I know its lunch time. But really, my boyfriend wants to talk to me. And it could be something important.

I see Heath.

Lily

* * *

Later, 8:05 PM 

The Common Room

Sometimes I wonder how my life got so confusing.

Heath had taken me to the Library to finally explain all the cuts on his arms. This is what the conversation was like:

Heath: Lily?

Me: Yes?

Heath: Um…I need to explain something to you.

Me: Okay, explain away.

Heath: Well, you know about the cuts on my arms. And there is a reason they are there. Just like there is a reason that people call me a suicidal freak.

Me: I…I don't understand what you're saying.

Heath: Lily—I, I tried to kill myself last year.

I began to cry at this point. He seemed so…happy, and care-free. And then he tells me that he tried to commit suicide.

Heath: Lily, please, don't cry. I love you; I don't want you to cry over me.

Me: (blubbering like an idiot) you tried to kill yourself?

Heath: Yeah, I did.

Me: W-why?

Heath: Well, Lily, I don't know if I can explain that in the best way.

Me: What do you mean? Heath, you're not making any sense.

Heath: (frustrated) I knew that I wouldn't.

Me: What's going on?

Heath: I…I just don't know how to explain myself to you Lily, I just don't know how. Everything I think of just leaves me, and I don't understand my own brain. I know why I wanted to kill myself; I just don't know how to say it to you.

Me: Heath—

Heath: No. Don't…just…Christ, I'm crap with words. Sometimes I wonder why I couldn't be like you and be so wonderful with words…I just don't…God…

And then it hit me. No, the reason that Heath tried to commit suicide did not hit me in the face. But what I could do with my life hit me. I should become an author! I know, it sounds incredibly stupid, and lame, but really, think about it. It fits how I am perfectly. I am constantly being yelled at for writing too much and everything…

Heath: Just…Lily…

Me: Heath, don't worry about it. You can tell me later. Gather your thoughts, okay? Just…think about what you want to say, and then tell me? Okay?

Heath nodded his head, and walked away, fingering something in his pocket. I picked up a few text books on some subject, I can't remember, and left.

The stupid thing about the whole thing is that while my boyfriend, this amazing guy who I am growing incredibly fond of, tries to tell me what he has kept to himself for all of these years, my goal and life and my ultimate career choice, comes to me. And it's writing of all things! I mean, really, think about this. Heath was telling me his soul as best he could, and my brain couldn't even focus on that one thing for that incredibly short amount of time. I feel so stupid.

Sometimes I just hate my brain.

Lily

* * *

March 21st, Noon 

The train home

We, meaning Jay, Bray, and myself, kinda forgot that Easter Holidays is this week. This means that we are currently sitting on the Hogwarts Express waiting for us to reach the station, so we can all go and spend one week at my house. And this also means that I am finding every possible way to get out of learning how to drive.

"Lily, there is no possible way you can learn how to drive in one week. I mean, you have to sit through classes and crap." Jay said, stuffing a cracker in her mouth.

"Yeah, really Lily, it takes a long time to learn how to drive." Bray said in agreement, before going back to giving herself body tattoos with her eye liner. "Your dad just can't go, 'Lily! Get in the car! You're getting your permits!' I mean, your dad may be a little weird, but not like that. Or I don't think he would be like that…"

"You say that, you say that…" I said before taking you out. So now we are sitting around, doing nothing. Well, Bray is continuing to tattoo her leg, Jay is sleeping, and I am writing. It's the normal thing for us to do.

"Lily?" Bray is saying, "Lily…I think I've run out of body to tattoo."

Lily

* * *

Later, 7:50 

My room, grounded

So, eventually, Bray had tattooed both my arms, my legs, and was working on my feet, when we got to Kings Cross. So we got off the train and people were giving us weird looks. But I don't think that matters. I always get weird looks. Like that time I came out of the bathroom with toilet paper in my hair.

Anyways, so we got to where my parents were standing, and Remus sees me, screams,

"LILY!" Runs, and jumps on me. All the muggles thought we were insane, and started muttering about drugs.

"LILY!" Mum screams, "What the hell is on your body?" I looked down; I was wearing a black short-sleeve shirt, green cargos, and Converse All-Stars.

"Um…clothes?" I said.

"No, on your SKIN! IS THAT EYELINER!"

"Um…maybe…"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'MAYBE'? YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD EXPLINATION!"

"Mrs. Potter, chill." Sean said, as him and Jay walked up to us. "It's just eyeliner. It's going to come off."

"Really Mum," I said, "Sean's right. It's just eyeliner. I mean, it could be worse. I could be having sex with my brothers."

Everyone looked at me. "What? It's true! I could be a complete whore, and have AIDS or something." And right at that second, Libby walked by.

"Eww! You have AIDS!" She sneered, and walked away, swinging some outrageously priced cow—I mean handbag, off her shoulder.

"Lily!" Dad said, "I thought you were a virgin!"

"I am! Honestly, I do not have AIDS, I am not having sex with my brothers, and no, I am not a whore." Then Grandmum stepped out of the car, when I was saying "a whore."

"When are we—LILY! YOU SHOULDN'T SAY SUCH THINGS IN PUBLIC! GINNY, GROUND HER!"

Then Mum muttered, "You're grounded."

Does anyone see the justice in this world?

Lily

* * *

Author Note 2: To answer a reviewer question as to why Lily was so clueless about the Heath-cutting thing, it is because she has never encountered this in her life, and still doesn't understand it. But soon, very soon, she will understand. Hopefully.

Author Note 3: Be happy you got this, I so ready to with hold this chapter for a while...

Please review, it makes me feel better at three in the morning when I am really bored and cannot sleep.


	36. Jail Cells and Drowned Rats

_The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter_

_Chapter Thirty-six: Jail Cells and Drowned Rats_

Authoress Note: Well, this chapter took a while to write. I eventually got over my writers block, and getting writers block for me is good, because it means that the story is coming to a close. You all might not view that as good, but I do. Because once this is done, I am going to read HBP and then hopefully come back with another story!

Disclaimer: I don't think JKR sits at her computer at ten in the morning on her Spring Break listening to Godsmack, writing Harry Potter. It just doesn't happen.

Dedication: To my sister's psychotic, suicide-attempting, murdering turtle. May it never hiss and try to kill me again.

* * *

**WARNING: IN THIS CHAPTER, SELF-MUTILATION AND SUICIDE IS TALKED ABOUT. HENCE THE PG-13 RAITING OF THIS STORY. IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH THESE SUBJECTS, THEN PLEASE SAY SO IN A REVIEW, AND I WILL SUMMARIZE THE CHAPTER FOR YOU SO YOU ARE NOT REQUIRED TO READ IT.**

**

* * *

**

March 22nd, 5:46 PM

My room, grounded

So my body art still has me grounded. My skin has a slight gray tint to it, though.

I can't go see James with the rest of the family, which sucks. Tomorrow is the second full moon since James was attacked, and this it is the night when they run tests on him to see if he is a vampire. He has been in a dark room since he was admitted for this reason; the healers fear he might be a vampire.

I don't think its fair, because I really want to see James. He's my brother too, and even though my best friend drew all over me that shouldn't impede me from going to see my brother.

Sometimes I really wish the stupidity would stop.

Lily

* * *

March 23rd, Noon 

The Kitchen

Dad just walked in and threw car keys at me, and said,

"Get your shoes on; you're getting your permits."

I promptly ran out of the room, screaming in complete horror.

I mean, why do I have to learn to drive? I have two other brothers who can drive as well in this country, it's not just me.

Dad has found me again and is saying that he will ground me for the rest of the school year, and make me live with them after Hogwarts if I don't get into the car now.

That's black mail I tell you!

Lily

* * *

Later 

Police Station, sitting in jail

My dear God.

The good news is, is that I passed my test.

The bad news is, is that once I had my permits; Dad took me out for a spin in the car. With me driving.

The city of London is now missing one light pole and a fire hydrant.

This is why I am now sitting in jail, waiting for the idiots who arrested me to set me free.

Why did I ever get in that stupid (and now wrecked) car?

Lily

* * *

Later, around Midnight 

Still in jail

Dad's calling Mum, and I can hear her screaming all the down hear, and the pay phone is down the hallway. There is some stoned kid in the corner of this cell looking at his right pinky like it is God. Sitting next to me, is an old lady who is knitting, and keeps calling me "sweet cheeks," and tells me to wash off my eyeliner, because I look like a hooker.

Yeah, I started pounding my head against the brick wall behind me, too.

Dad's back.

"You get one call. I suggest you call Malfoy."

"Which one?"

"The older, stupider, male one. He's probably home." I have to go call Draco, and see if he will bail me and my dad out of jail.

Lily

* * *

March 23rd, 1:02 AM 

Jail

Draco said that he'll come to bail us out tomorrow. So Dad and I are stuck here over night. I guess when Dad told Mum that he wouldn't be there for Weasley Sunday Breakfast, she asked if I was dead, and he said no, and then she started yelling at him, and then he told her that we were in jail, and she hung up on him. So now we have to wait for Draco.

The police have opened the door…and shoved another person in here. I feel like a chicken, just sitting here, in a little pen, waiting for someone to say, "Your time's up!" This new person is covered in blood, and is holding a knife.

"Whoops!" One of the police officers is back. "I'll be needing that knife. Its evidence you know, and you're not allowed to have weapons in the holding cell." And he took the knife from the guy covered in blood.

This is great.

Lily

* * *

Later, Noon 

Home

Well, Draco finally showed up, and freed us from jail, and now Dad and I are home. Dad's in his study with Mum. You can hear her yelling, which if my husband had gotten himself and my teenage daughter arrested, I would be yelling too.

There is a letter on the table for me, it's from Heath. It's really thick, which is great, because I really want to talk to him.

I think Mum just threw something, because I heard something shatter. And now she is storming out, still in her dressing gown, going upstairs. I think I'll stay down here, thank you very much.

Lily

* * *

Later, 2:31 PM 

My room, crying

I read Heath's letter, and I might never be the same again. This is what it said:

_Dear Lily,_

_I hope your Easter Holidays are going much better than mine; my parents had gone to Paris last week, and won't come back until next week._

_I feel really stupid because I couldn't explain myself to you last week, so I am going to try to now._

_Here we go…_

_Last year, I had just moved here from America. Seattle, Washington, to be exact, and England was so…different. I think your accents are killer, I wish I had one, but being the new kid in sixth year was really hard. Everyone had their little groups established, and I was left there, alone. So I fended for myself._

_Eventually, some people (who I am not going to name) singled me out because A.) I had no friends and B.) I was new and C.) I kept to myself. They really bothered me, they would beat me up, and say things about me, and it just ruined what self-esteem I had. It made me hate England, Hogwarts, and my life. _

_My parents were muggles, they produced records at an indie record company, that expanded and my parents were moved to the London offices. I was the weird child; I have an older sister and two younger siblings, and the only magical kid out of all of us. My sister made my life hell for me; my younger siblings thought I was a freak. My parents really didn't like the fact that I could blow them all to pieces if I wanted to, and made that fact known, and the fact that I wasn't their favorite child known too. This eventually made me depressed (or at least that's what my shrink says). I had anger and frustration built up in me, I had to fine a way to deal with it (again, from my shrink). This is where my scars come into play._

_I eventually found a way of release, and it was self-mutilation. AKA, cutting._

_Yeah, I know you're freaking out right about now. Everyone else does. But don't worry, this story has a slightly happy ending._

_So day in, and day out, I would cut, and relieve the emotional pain of these comments or feelings of hate that was directed towards me, or I directed towards myself. I cut my arms, my legs, my shoulders, my chest, everything. I did this all last year, and, amazingly enough, Ravenclaws can be really smart, but they can also be really stupid when one of their own attempts suicide. I must have attempted suicide at least five times that year, maybe more. I forget. I just remember every time I would wake up, and still be alive, how mad that made me._

_I made it through the school year, and summer came. Back to that stupid house, with workaholic parents, and siblings who hate me. Only the fact that I had found a way to handle everything made it slightly more bearable._

_Eventually, my sister, who is a perpetual gold-digger, had finally found some rich dude to marry. She brought this man, (I think his name was Burris) around constantly, and he would just sneer at me, and make snide comments. _

_One day, after a particularly vicious cutting session, I had come down to find something with iron to build up my blood, when Burris smacked me on the shoulder. This caused many things to happen. 1.) I screamed in pain, as he had hit my deepest cut. 2.) He reopened the cut, which had only stopped bleeding, causing blood to pour out. And, 3.) By reopening this wound, blood ended up on my mother's precious carpet, which, as I was reminded constantly, was better than me._

_This action caused my sisters to erupt into hysterics, for my parents to leave some struggling punk band in the studio as they rushed to see what had happened, and for me to feint, due to lack of blood._

_My life was never the same again._

_Suddenly, people _cared _about me, something that had never happened before. It didn't really bother me that people cared about me, I would have rather had them leave me alone, but that wasn't happening. I was hospitalized, and my parents quit their jobs for three months to watch me constantly. My sister was sent out of the house, and she lived happily with her husband, (who was found dead three months later, no doubt from her) and I started seeing my insane shrink whom I hate._

_I go back to school, take the stupid antidepressants like they tell me, and then I met you, and now we are here, in present time, with me, sitting here, having no idea why I am telling you something I have told no one else in my entire life._

_I have to end this soon, as the maids will be coming by and I need to clean up this mess I made trying to find the right words to say to you._

_Out of all of this, I want you to realize that I did not do this for attention, and I really do love you, or I would not be telling you this._

_Forever yours,  
Heath_

I'm crying. I really am crying.

Lily

* * *

Later, I dunno the time 

On a bus to Heath's house

Whatever trouble I was in for getting arrested will be nothing compared to what trouble I am going to get in for running away to Heath's house. But really, you think I was going to read that letter, and toss it aside? MY BOYFRIEND ATTEMPTED SUICIDE. FIVE TIMES! AND YOU EXPECT ME _NOT_ TO REACT? ARE YOU INSANE?

The bus stopped. Why did the bus stop?

"Ladies and gentlemen, I am very sorry for the delay, but the bus seems to have broken down. It will take around two hours to repair." And the driver put his microphone back. Well, screw the bus! I'll walk to Heath's house!

Lily

* * *

Much Later 

Heath's house

Well, I made it to Heath's house, abet soaking wet, but I made it. It had decided to pour halfway to Heath's house, so I looked like a drowned rat. When I got to his house, I rang his doorbell, and he answered it. He saw me, ran to go get a towel, put the towel on me, and hugged me. I hugged him back with about as much energy that a drowned rat can have.

"Oh Heath…" I said, beginning to cry.

"Lily." He said.

"Heath!"

"Lily!"

"Heath!"

"Lily!"

And then we kissed.

"Eww…Lily, you're all wet!"

Then I licked him. "Now you're wet, too!"

"Lily! You bad girl!"

"Oh, I know, I'm such a bad kid!" We laughed for a little bit, and made out for a little while, when he sent me upstairs to get changed and dry off. So later, we went back to his living room, made out some more, and fell asleep on his living room couch. And it's not like we had sex or anything, really people!

* * *

End Note: So, now the cat's out of the bag. Or the insane turtle is out of its cage. So to speak. Hope you all liked it, if I get bored Thursday, I might start 37, who knows.

Please review!


	37. Damn The Man!

The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter

Chapter Thirty-seven: Damn the Man!

Author Note: I wrote this chapter in blue. Don't ask. That's all I have to say…

Disclaimer: The other day, I was looking through the paper and saw this classified add: FOR SALE: A PLETHERA OF MAGICAL CHARACTERS, GOES TO THE FIRST CALLER. CALL 1-800-IMJKR. Yeah, right.

Dedication: Have you ever reached the point where you run out of things to dedicate things to? Well…I have. Okay. I have one. The following conversation is COMPLETELY TRUE. THIS IS NOT MADE UP.

Me: I need a dedication for CH 37

Friend: the popeness

Me: the pope?

Me: it works.

Friend: yes

Friend: He always works

So this is for the pope who is no longer with us!

* * *

March 24th, around noon

Heath's house

I must have given my parents the slip, because I have yet to be murdered or grounded. This is a record, I must say. Really, it is.

Heath is still sleeping, and I felt like coffee, so I am drinking coffee. It's actually not that bad, I would have expected the coffee to be worse.

Someone is ringing the doorbell; I'm going to go answer it.

Lily

* * *

Much later

Grounded

Heath's parents came home early.

They freaked out when I answered the door.

In Heath's shirt.

"Who are you?" Mrs. Claec whispered to me when I opened the door.

"Uh…Heath's girlfriend. Why?"

"My God…Harold…the…the…the boy's girlfriend!"

Mrs. Claec had to be taken to the hospital because she had a minor heart attack. And I think that was because he son showed signs of actually having a life.

And not the fact that there were more "Weirdo's" at the house as Mr. Claec put it so nicely. When Heath saw what happened, he screamed,

"Damn the man!" And went to get cold water.

Needless to say, my parents are pissed.

You want to know why? Because they didn't even know I was _gone_. They just thought that spending half a day in jail wore me out. No, it just made me scared of old ladies. So, now I am going to sleep, and hope that someone tells me how James is doing.

Lily

* * *

March 25th, 11:02 AM

The Sitting Room, yeah, we have a Sitting Room

It's not fair. It's really not.

Things like this shouldn't happen to people like me.

WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS? WHAT DID JAMES DO?

James…James is a vampire. The night of the second whole moon he attacked a healer and nearly killer the healer. He began screaming, and he had to be stunned with a steady flow of blood being supplied to him.

My brother is a vampire. My boyfriend was suicidal. I might have to go to court. I am most likely going to get kicked out of school. What is wrong here? What did James do to deserve this? Nothing! He did nothing I tell you! And this happens! Stupid Dracula. He could have taken me instead. But no, he had to take my baby brother! And I'm not even allowed to see him!

I really want to see him. He might be a vampire, but even vampires should know that someone cares about them. Even if that person wants to kill Dracula. And there is no known cure for vampirism. No potion that one can take to calm the vampiric effects without dieing. My brother will never be able to go back to Hogwarts. He will never be able to play quidditch again. He will be able to do nothing. And James doesn't deserve to have this happen to him.

No one does.

Lily

* * *

Later

My room

I've been sitting in my room, composing a letter to deliver to James. They say that I can write him letters. And now that he is a vampire, no one is allowed to visit him.

This whole time, the wizarding world is thinking what a disgrace the four of us are to my parents. That's the one thing about being Harry Potter's child. The media is obsessed with you. I have been labeled the "Rebel Misfit." And reporters can't wait until I turn eighteen so they can get interviews with me without my parents freaking out.

And somehow it leaked out that James is a vampire, and the press is having a field day. Dad is ready to move the whole house hold to the basement and cover the windows, because he can't even go outside to get the muggle paper and mail without twenty light bulbs going off, and the muggle police knocking on the door, asking why there are strange people dressed like stuffy old women with odd cameras standing on our front garden. Not to mention that we are still waiting to hear what Dad and I will get charged with for ruining a street light and a fire hydrant.

Add on the fact that Remus got his head boy position revoked and given to a Slytherin, the press is going nuts wanting to find out what kind of mayhem we cause at school. They also found out that I started the fire in the common room, and everyone was calling me a pyro for weeks in the papers. Sirius is the only one leading a slightly normal life; the media gets him off as a playboy because of how many girlfriends he has had.

So in short, its crazy being a Potter child, and I'm not looking forward to going back to school to cause some more pandemonium.

Lily

* * *

April 12th, Noon

Great Hall

Sorry it's been so long, I misplaced you, and left you at home, and Mum just now mailed you to me. One of the fifth years next to me is having a mental breakdown next to me, and is crying because she just found out she got a detention.

"But…I didn't deserve it!" She's crying. I guess she was freaking out over her O.W.L.S. and snuck into the library last night and was caught. She's bawling now, and a third year just offered her some bacon.

"Why is there bacon at lunch?" She's screaming. I think the third year's terrified of her now.

"Hey, Jamie, calm down. It's gonna be alright." Great, her friend is here. I was worried that I was going to have to calm her down, and we all know how much I suck at that.

Lily

* * *

Later, Dinner Time

Great Hall

Heath is eating lunch with me, and he's wearing short sleeves. My brothers are sneering at him, making horrid jokes about his scars, Bray is making out with Drew and Jay is at the Slytherin table, doing what normal people do at dinner, which is eating.

Hold on, I need to punch Sirius.

….

Okay. I'm done punching him. He has a black eye, but the teachers have given up on us, we only have three months left here, and they've given up on disciplining us.

Crap. I have peer counseling today. Stupid Hermione and teachers who are obsessed with making me "normal."

Lily

* * *

Later

Common Room

I had a joint session with another person in peer counseling. You know who that other person was? Heath.

My boyfriend is in peer counseling as well. Dumbledore put him in it after he tried to commit suicide last year, and he's been in it ever since. It's sad, really. He talked about suicide, and how it's been three weeks since he last cut, (I guess his parents freaked out on him when they came home to find me there) and his hopes of improving. I talked about how much the press annoys me. Pathetic, really.

I'm really taking a back seat in Heath's cutting issue, but I really don't know what to say. What do you say to someone who feels so incredibly worthless that they would mar their own skin—their own body—just to make themselves feel better? What do you say to that? I have no idea! I don't know how to handle anything!

My brother's a vampire! James is a vampire! I can't see him for one year. ONE YEAR. There is nothing I can do for him—nothing. I haven't seen my brother since he was attacked back in February, and its APRIL FOR MERILN'S SAKE!

Heath—he tried to die! He's the most wonderful person I know, and he wanted to die. How do you expect me to react? Because I most certainly don't know how to! Every time I hold his hand, I can feel scars, EVERY TIME. And it just…makes me feel like crap because he doesn't love his life. And people who do love life make his hell. And there is nothing I can do.

I feel so helpless.

Lily

* * *

April 16th, Lunch

Library

To get my mind off of everything I am immersing myself in school work. I'm on my sixth extra-credit essay for Potions, and I might have all ten done by dinner if I skip Divination. It sounds like a plan.

Heath has been getting a lot of hate mail from his parents lately…all of which he has burned.

The teachers are becoming insane about graduation, seeing as it is two months away. We are making a time capsule that we will put one thing from our seventh year in. Libby and her group are deciding to put eyeliner in the time capsule because,

"Even lumps of soggy metal should have to look good. I mean, it _is_ going to have _my_ name on it!"

Please, shoot me.

Everyone else is deciding to put wonderful things in the capsule, but what do I have to put in it? Hermione said it'll be a while before we have to make a final decision, so I suppose I'll think about it later.

Bray and Jay are heading my way with weird looks on their faces.

Lily

* * *

Later

Common Room

Operation: Revenge on Libby begins at midnight. Jay and I are sneaking into the Hufflepuff dorms and charming her hair. Bray is working on the potion that will turn her boyfriend into a giant spider, and we will work on the squid thing at lunch tomorrow. This is going to be great.

Lily

* * *

**I don't care how you WRITE in this STUPID THING!**

**Lily—your middle name is Audrey…well, well, well….  
I have had it! People won't stop _laughing_ at me you _freak_! CHANGE MY HAIR BACK NOW! OR YOU WILL NEVER SEE THIS DIARY AGAIN YOU LOSER!**

**God, and your not even a pure-blood. You're not _worthy_ enough to even _write_ about my simply CHARMING eyeliner. Its pink, its _fab_!**

**So anyways, _FREAK!_ _CHANGE MY HAIR BACK NOW, OR I CONVINCE YOUR BOYFRIEND TO COMMIT SUICIDE!_**

**Libby**

End Memorandum: So…the revenge is in tact! Woo hoo! I sincerely hoped that you liked this chapter. It's not…happy, I guess, it's actually quite depressing, but it works.

Please review, as it makes me very happy!


	38. Men Are Sick Idiots Who Don't Deserve To...

_The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter_

_Chapter Thirty-eight: Men Are Sick Idiots Who Don't Deserve to Live_

Author's Note: This chapter is seven pages long! Longest chapter in a long time! Yeah! I blame the warm weather and insomnia for this chapter. Anyways, so it is 2.13 in the morning, and I am just sitting here. After a mind-blowing conversation (I'm being scarastic) about doing illegal things, a fruitless search for pain killers, and stupid conversations, I finally came up with a way to cure my boredom without losing brain cells...updating!

Disclaimer: Me: I need a disclaimer. One that says I don't own Harry Potter or spam.

Friend: Why don't you just tell people that you own it, for once, and see what happens?

Me: I would get my assed sued.

Dedication: To you, the reader. You make my day when you review. (Hint, hint)

* * *

Later, 1:23 PM 

Study Hall

Blake is successfully a squid. Some of the house elves wanted to cook him for dinner. It was hysterical.

Entire Great Hall: (Laughter)

Libby: STOP LAUGHING AT ME!

Entire Great Hall: (Laughter)

Blake takes a sip of his drink. He pauses for a few moments, when suddenly there is a giant puff of smoke and some weird clacking noise, and the sound of glass breaking. The smoke cleared, and sitting there was…

A GIANT PINK SQUID!

It was funny. Everyone started laughing, and McGonagall eyed me weirdly, but chuckled herself. Suddenly, a house elf burst into the Great Hall.

House Elf: Dumbly sees a squid! Come here Mr. Squid! Dumbly needs to cook Mr. Squid for dinner! Here squid-y squid! Here boy! Here boy! Don't be shy! Dumbly promises that Dumbly will only cut off some of Mr. Squid's body parts!

Libby started screaming, and she tripped over one of Blake's tentacles, and fell into her friend's makeup bag, and emerged covered in foundation. Then I noticed something.

Me: Bray…wasn't Blake supposed to turn into a spider?

Bray: …Uh….whoops?

Me: Bray….

Bray: Look, I didn't mean to…?

Me: Well, if Blake's not a spider, and Libby isn't a squid, then who is being turned into a spider?

Jay: Lily, you mean BLAKE was supposed to be a spider?

Me: Yes, that's what was supposed to happen. Why?

Jay: Well…let's just say that…

Right then there was another small explosion.

Jay: …I didn't know that we weren't pranking Snape.

* * *

Later 

Outside detention

I'm waiting for Jay to get out of detention. She was found to have turned Snape into a spider, and had detention. Blake is living in the lake for a while, and Libby has taken to wearing turban. She hates me even more now, but it was well worth it. You saw what she wrote in here! I couldn't let her get off that easy, so I charmed her pillows into turtles. I can't wait to see her in the morning, it'll be funny.

Someone is coming, it's after curfew, and I don't want to get into trouble.

Lily

* * *

April 17th, One in the morning 

My Dorm, listening to Blink 182

Suddenly, my revenge on Libby doesn't seem to matter anymore.

Heath broke up with me.

And you want to know why? Because I supposedly still like Dan, and he can tell. I HATE DAN!

This is the second guy to dump me in SIX MONTHS! I might as well become a nun now, and save myself the trouble.

BUT I DO NOT LIKE DAN ANYMORE! HE IS AN ASS THAT DESERVES TO DIE!

I just can't take this anymore. I'm tired of the drama. This needs to end. I am tired of being people's dirty bath water, of being shoved away when I finally get comfortable.

Men are idiots.

Lily

* * *

April 20th, Noon 

The Kitchen

I decided to eat down here, because everyone is giving me weird looks once they realized that Heath and I no longer sat together or did anything together. Everything is back to nearly normal, although Snape still has four arms and Blake is still living in the lake.

Potions was funny, Snape knocked over a swelling potion on a second year who was delivering a note, and the second year blew up like a ball. One of the Ravenclaws had to roll the poor kid to the Hospital Wing.

I am still terribly sad. Dan is giving me odd looks and keeps on asking me if I want to talk about Heath, and Heath has been missing for some time. No one's seen him lately. That's fine with me; he's the bastard that broke up with me. I would go to his usual haunt, the library, but I don't have the energy to even go to breakfast these days.

Having your heart broken several times in one year is painful.

Men are sick idiots who don't deserve to live.

You think I would have figured that out earlier. Go figure.

Men are sick idiots who don't deserve to live.

Lily

* * *

Later 

My dorm

Men are sick idiots who don't deserve to live.

Want an example?

Today after Muggle Studies, Remus came up to me and hugged me, telling me that Dan was perfect for me, and that Heath was a freak.

Heath was not a freak! He was misunderstood and no one would accept him! Will people understand this?

Remus then proceeded to tell me how weird Heath is, and then I slapped him and ran off.

Men are sick idiots who don't deserve to live.

Lily

* * *

Still Later 

My Dorm, wallowing in self-pity

Mum sent me a note. James is doing really well, and I have to go to court in July for running over a street light and fire hydrant. Joy.

She also heard about Heath and myself, and told me that it's good that Heath and I are over, as I could not handle having a significant other like that.

Thanks for the boost of confidence, Mum!

Notice the sarcasm.

My whole family is against me, it seems. I just can't wait until graduation. I am going to move out, and I'll live on my own, away from all the stupid people in my life.

Hogsmead weekend tomorrow, I am going to look for houses in Hogsmead tomorrow, and hope I find one that's affordable. Money isn't a problem, I'm Harry Potter's daughter. His only daughter. Do you know how much money I got when I was born because I was The Daughter of Harry Potter? A lot. Apparently, my brother's were not in such high demand for Gladrag's Baby Wear line. I mean, there are three of them. Only now, one is a vampire, another is no longer Head Boy, and the other one can't decide which quidditch team to play for; England, France, or Ireland.

It's begun raining. How fun.

Bray is making mud sculptures from the formations in the mud. Half of Gryffindor house is out there, sliding in the mud, but for once I don't feel like going out there. I just want to stay inside and watch movies and eat lots of chocolate.

Eww. I have homework, too.

Lily

* * *

Much Later 

My Dorm, consuming large amounts of ice cream

I finished all my homework. I'm staring at the wall now.

There is a crack in it that looks like one of Heath's cuts.

I miss him so much. If I didn't feel so horrible, I might go find him and talk to him. But I feel like crap, and I want to go home, and lay in my bed and sleep. Maybe get a hug from my mum. No matter how much we might fight, nothing beats one of Mum's hugs. They can make anyone feel better, no matter what.

I miss Heath.

I think I was in love with him. And he broke up with me. Because of Dan. Maybe I should murder Dan so Heath can be with me.

But then I would go to jail.

My logic sucks.

Lily

* * *

Two minutes later 

Same place

But going to jail wouldn't be that bad. I would be away from crazy people.

…Then again, I would be with rapists and people who murder people because they want to. Not because they wanted to save a relationship. Unless you are on the muggle show CSI.

* * *

May 1st (May Day), 9:21 AM 

Defense

It's been a very long time, I know. I lost you in one of my essays, (it was twenty scrolls long) and my teacher just gave you back to me. Sad, I know, but I never said I wasn't clueless.

I'm painting my nails purple whilst Professor Lupin organizes his thoughts. He's getting too old. Nothing against him, he's just getting…old. He could be my grandfather, he's that old.

Someone in the front smelled the nail polish, and is glaring at me. I have one more nail, and I'm…done! Oh good, because he's just noticed the scent.

"Miss Potter, if you could please take your newly purple nails to the Headmistress office, we would all be grateful."

Great. I've been sent to McGonagall's office.

Lily

* * *

Later, Dinner 

Great Hall

I went to McGonagall's office, right? Guess who was there.

Dumbledore

He was covered in purple flowers, and had me join him in the tango as he stepped out of the fireplace.

"Miss Potter, why are you here _this_ time?" McGonagall snapped.

"Ask Professor Lupin. All I was doing was using my time effectively, like you told me to in third year when I planted dungbombs in Snape's socks." I said, quite smartly, if you ask me.

"And, pray tell, what did you do?"

"I painted my nails purple while he was trying to find his books on vampirism."

"And did he find them?"

"No."

"You know where they are, I suppose."

"Jay stole them when she found out that James was a vampire."

"And so you painted your nails purple because…"

"I wanted to use my time wisely, and it would have taken up homework time to have done it in the evening."

"Miss Potter…"

"Yes?"

"Lily, go to your dorm. Today is a holiday!" Dumbledore said, throwing flowers in the air.

"Albus, what holiday is it now?" Snape said, as he stepped in the room, rubbing his temples while a second year sobbed behind him.

"May Day!" He yelled, jumping up on his desk, and doing some sort of stiff jig. The second year started screaming, and ran into the wall, he was so scared. Snape sighed, and left the room, muttering about how he was very underpaid, while McGonagall began cleaning up her things.

"Welcome back, Albus." She said, collecting her cloak. "Enjoy yourself, Lily. Albus will talk to you about what you did." I started smacking my head with a book.

* * *

Later 

Common Room

I am so proud of Heath. I really am. I love that kid. You know what he did? He threw Shepard's Pie at Libby's head. And he didn't throw it at her head for any ordinary reason, no, he threw it for me. Heath threw Shepard's Pie at Libby for me! It was so romantic. He told her to shut up about me, and walked over to me.

"Lily," he said, "I'm sorry I broke up with you. My parents made me. But now I see they were wrong. I love you." And then he kissed me.

And if you believe that, you've been reading too many romance novels.

Instead, he hugged me, Jay and Bray started gagging, Sirius, Remus, and Dan tried to kill Heath, but Drew stunned them, Dumbledore stood up and started clapping to "young love", and Libby threw pudding at Heath. And the pudding hit me.

I am now covered in food.

Lily

* * *

Much later 

Common Room

Ten Reasons Why Not to Start a Food Fight

1. I did not start the fight. Heath did. I was the scapegoat.

2. The school owled Mum—never good.

3. You get covered in food, which will not come out of your hair, no matter how hard to scrub.

4. Your best friends take food dye and thicken the pumpkin juice, and throw it on people, claiming it to be blood.

5. The sixth years start crying, because they got "blood" in their mouths, and think they have AIDS now.

6. Someone starts throwing knives, and nearly takes your eye out.

7. You throw a fork in retaliation, and it lands in someone's shoe.

8. Dumbledore begins licking pudding out of his beard, and Flitwick feints from the sight.

9. Everyone is running around, screaming that they have STD's, when someone trips in fake blood.

10. And the number ten reason not to start a food fight is…the person who slipped in fake blood starts a chain reaction, and everything in the Great Hall is turned over, and not one person was left standing or sitting.

* * *

May 2nd, 3:23 PM 

Muggle Studies

McHenry is fighting with a can opener again, this time to open a can of Spam. The sad this is, is that Spam has a pop-top lid. Oh well, it gives me time to paint my toe nails black.

The Food Fight of the Century occurred yesterday. Heath has detention for a week because he "started" it. I tell you, if Libby had never been born, none of that would have happened. If Libby hadn't been born, then Blake, her boyfriend, wouldn't be walking through the door, sopping wet.

"Professor…" He's saying.

McHenry puts down the Spam. "Yes, sir?"

"There are piranhas in the lake."

"Uh…Blake, there are no piranhas in the lake."

"You mean…there weren't any fish trying to eat me?"

"No…that was Dumbly, the house elf. He was trying to eat you for dinner."

* * *

I hope everyone like that chapter! 

Please review! They might pay for my collage education!


	39. That's Hot

The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter

Chapter Thirty-nine: That's Hot

Author's Note: This has seriously been the hardest chapter to write. It took me four times to get it right, and I finally wrote something I was not only happy with, but I could build a decent-length chapter off of. There is only one more chapter left, and this is really sad to me. For over a year now, this story has been my baby. It has weathered so much with me, and any time I felt really crappy, I knew that this was here and I could become Lily and talk about all the insane things that happened at Hogwarts. And this has been an amazing journey. I am just in shock that there is only one chapter left. This fanfiction, for as long as I was writing it, I knew that I wanted to have the chapters be an even number. Forty chapters. That's a really long story, but I hope that on those rainy days when you have nothing to do that you come back and read this whole story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and anything else you recognize.

Dedication: To one of my very dear friends, who while I was venting to him about friendships told me some amazing advice to put into relationships if I ever get into one. The advice: Relationships just aren't about being happy.

* * *

May 21st, 9:23 AM 

Muggle Studies

Oh my goodness. You would never believe what the cover story is in the _Daily Prophet._ You seriously wouldn't.

**POTTER CHILDREN ARE GROWING UP**

_A Special Report by Beverly Deshacker_

_LONDON—As Harry Potter did nearly twenty years ago, his three children, Remus, Lily, and Sirius Potter, are all about to graduate from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The three children are in a set of quadruplets, and were born on July 10th, eighteen years ago. _

_The Daily Prophet did an expose on their birth—and now, the children's entering of the magical world as adults. This monumental occasion will take place on June 21st, the Summer Solstice, at seven in the evening in the Hogwarts Quidditch Pitch._

_But, as our older readers will remember, there were four Potter children. What about the fourth, you may ask? James Potter, one of Harry and Ginny Potter's three sons, was in a fateful accident this year on Valentine's Day, which resulted in his turning into a vampire. The family was quite shocked, as this event was a travesty to the Potter family. Ginny Potter has been known to speak out against vampires, and her son being turned into one was a great shame to her._

_"She was crying all day…screaming in horror." A neighbor, who wished to remain anonymous stated when asked if Ginny Potter had any reaction to the news that her son was a vampire. Although it is unclear, several statements have been released, saying that James was turned by Count Vlad Dracula himself. Dracula was unavailable for comment._

_The Potter's have always been infamous; Harry brought the defeat of the Dark Lord twice, and is an established auror, his wife, Ginny Potter, is a top healer at St. Mungo's Hospital, and his four children have a myriad of accomplishments among themselves. Despite all of these wonderful achievements, the Potter children have gotten themselves in a spot of trouble._

_Sources inside Hogwarts have told this reporter that Lily Potter has a detention record to rival even the most troublesome student's in the school's history, she has set the Gryffindor Common room on fire, set up several pranks with disastrous results, and saved then-boyfriend, Daniel Malfoy, from a house-elf revolt that is rumored was started by Lily herself. Remus Potter has had his Head Boy title revoked due to his attack on a seventh-year student. James and Sirius Potter have remained quite tame through out their Hogwarts careers, although the two of them have had their fair share of mayhem._

_The main question through out everything is: Is the world ready for a new generation of Potters? Nearly everyone remembers the horrible Christmas party hosted by Ginny Potter when Luna Lovegood-Longbottom had a magical malfunction which resulted in the destruction of Potter Manor. Will the Wizarding World be ready for the Potter children? Only time will tell, and frankly, this reporter wishes time would move much slower. (Turn to Pages 15-23 for a Look at the **Potter's Through the Ages—Photo Memoirs**.)_

Can you believe that crap? My mother having a thing against vampires? She practically adopted Jay and Bray and they are half vampires! That article was a load of bull. They made me look like this kid with nothing going for her. That might be true, but I am not as bad as they made me sound! I did not start the house elf revolution; they did that on their own. That article…

Lily

* * *

Later, 12:46 PM

The Great Hall

Hermione just made an announcement to all the seventh years. We need to start thinking about what we want to put in the time capsule. Libby nearly cried because she couldn't decide—purple or pink eye liner? I swear, she is so materialistic, it makes me sick. Really, I sneezed in my chicken soup because of her overly-powerful spray she sprayed everywhere because "The room smelled odd. Like dead rodents."

How did I end up going to a school with these people?

There was a thumb under the table. My soup is moving because someone is bumping the table.

"What the hell is going on under there?" Sirius is saying. And now, he is looking under the table. And now, he just screamed.

"OH MY GOD! KEEP THAT TO YOURSELF!" Great, Sirius passed out on the floor.

"He's twitching!" A third year just yelled. Bray poked her head out from under the table, followed by Drew.

"Who's twitching?" She says, coming out from under the table fully, adjusting her robes.

"Dear Merlin…I don't have to put up with this." I'm going somewhere without moving soup.

Lily

* * *

Much Later

My Dorm

I tried to get down to the kitchens so I could get some food, but I wasn't able to get to the kitchens. No, because I now have stalkers. Yeah, STALKERS. Seriously, this whole thing is insane. They are convinced that I was going to do something delinquent, and that they would take pictures of it. Which is insane, as I was not going to make trouble, I wanted to get food, for Merlin's sake!

So I am trying to get rid of my stalkers, when Dan comes down the hallway, whistling. "Lily!" He says, "Have you gotten a new posse? Because if so, I would hope that you would notice that they are all shorter than you." I wanted to smack him.

"They are not my posse, you loser. They are stalking me because of what the _Daily Prophet_ said about me!" I told him, attempting to save my robes from being torn to shreds from a drooling first year.

"Oh. Well then, let me help you." And he grabbed my arm, and started running with me, until he found a random door, and opened it and shoved us inside. Dan and I were in a broom closet, and a very small one at that. We were shoved up against each other, and he was breathing in my ear. "I hope this is okay…"

"Yeah…It's kinda cramped, but it's better than having crazy first years chasing me."

"Oh, we can move around a bit…here, you go there, and I'll move here…no, your other left…yeah…whoops! Sorry about your—"And halfway through moving around, somehow, by some weird occurrence, our lips met each other. It was totally unplanned, neither of us expected it. And we stayed like that for some time, until I brought myself to my senses.

"Uh…yeah, I n-n-need to go. I'll talk to you later? Yeah, later, later is good…um…bye." I opened the door, and ran away, until I got here.

The scary thing is, is that I kissed Dan. I know that we broke up a long time ago, and neither of us did anything wrong by kissing each other. But…still. That wasn't supposed to happen. I am supposed to be done with Dan Malfoy, and we should not be kissing each other in broom closets when I am running away from my stalkers. It just shouldn't happen.

I should be done with Dan Malfoy. Because if everything was right with the world, I wouldn't have felt anything when I kissed Dan. But I did. If felt a little shock when I kissed Dan. And I shouldn't feel that. Because I can't still be in love with Dan Malfoy. I can't.

* * *

May 22nd, 2:46 PM

The Lake

Today could possibly be the worst day of me entire life. Besides the fact that I might still be in love with Dan, I have also found out that my mother attacked the reporter who said that she does not like vampires. Said reporter is now in St. Mungo's bleeding profusely, while my mother has been taken to the ministry. And you want to know the worst of it?

I walked into the Great Hall this morning, and I saw Dan making out with a Ravenclaw. I know I have no claim over him, but it made me feel like what happened in the closet meant nothing to him. Nothing at all.

And the accidental kiss should mean nothing to me, too. But it did, and that's what really worries me. That kiss meant something to me because I could feel something. But could he?

Lily

* * *

May 23rd, 9:47 AM 

Muggle Studies

Urg, NEWTS revisions. We have been doing these all week. I'm getting really bored of stating in six different ways the purpose of carbonation, and how to carbonate a product. And, it's begun raining, too.

I'm still freaking out over my kiss with Dan. Apparently, his current attachment has been with him for weeks. Now, I feel really bad, because I am the "other woman." I kissed Dan when he was going out with another girl. Even if it was accidental. My life SUCKS.

Lily

* * *

Later, 6:02 PM

Great Hall

I swear, my life just got even more horrible. I kissed Dan, again! This is getting insane.

I was sitting under the girl's staircase, waiting for the common room to clear out. I was crying a little, out of frustration because of the kiss Dan and I had, when Dan came over, and asked me what was wrong. I told him nothing, but he came over, and sat next to me under the stairs.

"If nothing was wrong, then you wouldn't be crying." He said, and started drying my tears. His face was really close to mine, and we got "caught up in the moment," and we…kissed. We kissed for a little while, until I realized what we were doing. I broke it off, and looked at the floor.

"This…isn't…I'm…going to go." And I grabbed my bag and left the common room.

What's even more confusing is that when Dan kissed me this time, I felt nothing.

Lily

* * *

May 30th, 5:56 PM

The Great Hall

I was sitting out by the lake today, when Bray came and sat down next to me.

"Lilykins, what's wrong deary? You look down." She said, picking up some daises.

"Oh, you know. The usual, NEWTS, my parents, my family…"

"A certain boy?"

"What? What are you talking about? What 'certain boy?'"

"Oh you know…that one boy…"

"WHAT BOY?"

"Jesus, you don't have to yell at me. I'm talking about that boy that is holding out a card to you."

"What? What card—"I turned around then. "Oh, hello Neptune!"

"Hi. My mom just owled me to give this to you…it's an invitation to her baby shower at the end of July…you know, for the baby she is going to have."

"Oh…yes, I remember Mum owling me about that. But, why didn't she just owl it to me?"

"She wanted to save on postage." He said, and ran away, tearing of his robes and flailing himself in the water.

"That's one wired family." Bray said, putting a crown of daises on my head and walking away.

* * *

Later

The Common Room

I was in the Library a little while ago, finishing up a potions essay on Truth Potions, watching my brothers and Jay and Bray play tag, when Jay suddenly stopped and Sirius ran into her.

"Hey! Why'd you stop? Remus is going to get us!" Sirius yelled at her. Jay fell to the ground with a shocked look on her face. She slowly turned to Sirius and grabbed his arm.

"Sirius?" She asked.

"Yeah, Jay?"

"We are going to be leaving Hogwarts soon, aren't we?"

"Yeah Jay, I reckon we are."

"We shouldn't be playing tag."

"Well, why not?"

"Yeah Jay, why not?" Remus said, coming up to the two.

"Ah! No touching! No touching!" Sirius screamed, jumping away from Remus. Remus sat next to her on the floor.

"In two months…we will be adults." Jay said in a mystical voice. "In real life, you can't play Tag or Hide-and-Seek in your cubicles. You'll get fired."

"Aww…no warnings?" Sirius said.

"Nope, no warnings, none at all." Jay said. "What are we going to do? We are leaving to be adults. We are growing up. We're not first years playing Tag in the Library anymore." Sirius looked around. He spotted a few first years and ran over to them. He came back a few minutes later wearing incredibly short robes with a seam in the shoulder splitting, carrying a few other robes.

"Here, put these on and we can be first years again." He said.

"Okay!" Remus said, tearing his own robe off, and tagging Sirius. "Tag! You're it!" And he ran off. Sirius threw a robe at Jay who was still sitting down and went to chase after Remus.

"Mr. Potter!" McHenry screamed towards the back of the Library. "Return that robe now!"

"Lily…this is it. It's all over. We have to be responsible now." Jay said faintly, got up, and left the Library.

The weird thing is, is that it's taken her seven years to figure out this is it. It's all or nothing.

Lily

* * *

June 1st, Noon

The Great Hall

Dan just left. And I think it was best that he left, because I don't know how much longer I could stand sitting next to him before I threw my corn at him and started yelling at him for being stupid. I am just so tired of feeling like I am in love with him, but not feeling anything. It can never be him and I. It just can't. There was nothing there. I might have been in love with him for half my life, but when we dated, nothing worked out. Nothing. We could do everything together, make out for hours, but when we were done, it still felt like he was my best friend and not my boyfriend. And maybe that's how it's supposed to stay. Dan should just be a really good friend, and not my boyfriend.

Well, I'm glad I worked that out.

Lily

* * *

Later, 1:03 PM

Charms

HOLY SHIT! NEWTS ARE IN TWO WEEKS!

AAAAAAHHHHHH!

* * *

June 2nd, 4:56 AM

The Common Room

I must have lost it. I haven't been studying! I was too worried about Dan and the whole deal with him and didn't realize how close NEWTS were. I am destined to fail the NEWTS! Three people in the past hour have already been taken to the Hospital Wing because they are so scared about these NEWTS, I am terrified! What happens if I can't remember anything? I might die! No!

Lily

* * *

June 2nd, 4:58 AM

The Common Room

No, I'm not going to forget anything. I will remember it all, and pass all my NEWTS! I must work a study schedule…let's see…

MONDAY: Potions

TUESDAY: Herbology

WENSDAY: Transfiguration

THURSDAY: Muggle Studies

FRIDAY: History of Magic

SATURDAY: Defense Against the Dark Arts

SUNDAY: Study all six subjects for one hour each.

That looks like a good study schedule. I'm not going to bother with Astronomy, because I don't plan on passing that class anyways. I'm not going to need it in whatever I decide to do. Which brings me to another topic—what should I do when I leave Hogwarts? Fred and George have offered me a store keeper position at their London store if I want it when I get out of Hogwarts. They have also offered me the flat above the shop because Fred and his family are moving to a house in the country side, close to the Burrow.

Talking about this seems so…final. Like everything is over, when it is just beginning.

Urg, I hate the end of the school year. It makes me get philosophical-like.

Lily

* * *

June 3rd, 11:23 AM

By the Lake

I feel…dead. I have been studying so hard, I have drained myself. I am forcing myself to study the cures to the Drought of Sleep (none). There aren't even any cures to the Drought of Death, its all antidotes. Antidotes are not cures, they are potions, and the antidote for the Drought of Sleep doesn't even work half the time.

See? I sound like Snape! Something needs to be done until I start naming all known canned Muggle foods.

Spam, chicken, tuna, baked beans, lima beans, green beans…

This is getting bad. I need to stop. Full stop. I need to take a break from this constant studying. All we are doing in class anymore is reviewing, and I am spending my days constantly reviewing. McGonagall put me in detention because I started screaming in class when she asked me for my homework. Apparently, saying that she did not give us Wednesday, my Transfiguration day, to do our homework so I spent the night studying Herbology instead of Transfiguration is not a viable excuse. Well, boo her.

Jay is running over here, so I better go.

Lily

* * *

June 13th, 5:52 PM

The Great Hall

**HOGWARTS ANNOUNCEMENT**

**All seventh years are required to submit in writing to Professor Malfoy**

**the item that he/she is going to put in the 16th Annual Hogwarts Time Capsule.**

**All entries are due by 19 June at 11:00 PM for final examination.**

**Thank you,**

**Hogwarts Staff**

When Libby saw this, she started screaming, because her purple eyeliner would not come in time for the Graduation Ceremony, and she was crying to her fake posse about how shimmery blue eyeliner just isn't the same. I about threw up, this time because she rammed her new hand bag into my stomach. I swear, I hate her so much.

But my problem is, is that I don't even have anything I can put in. Everything I have is so…insignificant. I have nothing really awesome from my time at Hogwarts except some old homework. This is frustrating me.

Lily

* * *

June 14th, 2:30 PM

The Front Lawn

My god…I just took my first NEWT…I thought I was about to die…it was so hard! Eek! I know I failed it…I did HORRIBLE. I couldn't find any moon stone, so my whole potion was a waste…it was a disaster…it was horrible…and I won't write in you again until all my NEWTS are over.

* * *

June 19th, 10:56 PM

Outside Hermione's Office

So, after days of studying and deciding I have finally come to a conclusion of what I should put in the time capsule: You. Yes. I am going to put you in the time capsule to be buried in the ground. It sounds weird, but that is what I am going to do. And that's it.

Lily

* * *

June 20th, 11:23 AM

The Common Room

I am graduating from Hogwarts tomorrow. All around me, seventh years are crying because this is it. We are on our own.

The sad thing is? I still haven't figured out what to do with my life. Jay is about to smack me, because she knows a job that would be perfect for me, but she won't tell me. I want to smack her. Grr!

I am really scared about graduating tomorrow. That's the end of my final year of Hogwarts, and the end of you. This is my last entry. I am about to cry. You have been my faithful diary. You have gone through everything with me. But I refuse to say goodbye. Because goodbye is for losers. I know that we, me and you, will be together once more. I know we will.

That sounds really stupid—saying all of this to a book. But you have really been my best friend this entire year, been through everything with me. And I will sincerely miss you. I think. I don't want to end this, but I have to. I must. We must part ways, and go on, me without my diary. You're cover is all beat up, and you are covered with bits of food and tear stains, but I will always remember the things I wrote in here, and maybe realize what an awesome year I had.

So, thanks for all the good times, and I'll end this without crying.

Lily

* * *

End Notes: Yes, that was her last entry. I know it kinda sucked, but there is one more chapter. It's a final chapter/epilogue type thing. It is. And it will be awesome. I hope you liked this chapter. I didn't proof read it, so I hope my grammer was okay. Toodles!

Please review!


	40. Ten Years Hasn't Changed a Thing

_The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter_

_Chapter Forty: Ten Years Hasn't Changed a Thing_

Author Note: I would cry, but I told myself I wouldn't. This is the final chapter of TDOLAP. Chapter 40. Can anyone say wow? It's amazing. And I have even more amazing readers. And you know what? I didn't abandon it, after all. I said I would, but deep down, this story is part of me. I want to thank each and every reviewer; you have no idea how good your reviews made me feel. You would say that I am on your Favorite Author's List, and I would spend the whole day in a daze, because someone liked my writing enough to do that. I am also informing my readers that after this chapter is posted, I will be taking a long-needed break from writing fan fiction. I might post a one-shot or something like that, but nothing major like this for a really long time. This took two years. Time, I'm afraid, as graduation is a mere three years away, that will be at a minimum. That doesn't mean I won't still read fan fiction. And I'll beta if anyone wants one.

CHECK OUT MY BIO FOR IMPORTANT NEWS.

Disclaimer: For the last time, I do not own Harry Potter and Co.

Dedication: To everyone who has supported me, read this, listened to me whine, helped me write, beta read, brain stormed, critiqued, hated this, loved this, and just plain clicked on "The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter," this chapter is for you. Thank you. And for all the fan fiction authors who have lost everything in Hurricane Katrina, my prayers and thoughts are with you.

* * *

"Is everyone present for the reading of the final will and testament of Daniel Ethane Draconic Malfoy?" A ministry official said, looking at the small crowd of people. A woman in the back was sobbing, and a red haired girl in all black looked lost, as if questioning what she was doing there.

A man sitting in the front looked around. "Well, Cindy, it appears that everyone is here. If you could carry on with my brother's final will and testament, I'm sure Lily here would be very happy, as the poor souls out there would die without her advice."

"Drew!" A woman with extremely frizzy hair remarked, "Have a little more kindness! These ministry officials don't get paid for this!" She completed her statement by whacking Drew Malfoy on his head.

"Aww…Poor baby. Did your mummy hit you on your head?" Braessa Malfoy asked her husband, kissing the top of his head. "There. That should make it all better."

"Hem, hem." The ministry official said, looking at the small crowd. "Today is the reading of the final will and testament of Daniel Ethane Draconic Malfoy. His will is as follows:

"Dear family, and if I have any, friends. I'm sure some dumpy old ministry witch is reading this in hopes the ministry will start paying her to do this job. Anyways, this means that I have bit the proverbial dust, and am now lying in a tomb somewhere far, far away. Now, to begin auctioning off my prized possessions.

"But first before everyone starts attacking my will over the fine china (which, by the way Mummy, no longer exists after I threw a tantrum after I found out about Adrienne)—"

The woman with frizzy hair huffed.

"—I must give my darling Adrienne to a person of my choice. So, in the plausibly eventful death of me, Daniel Ethane Draconic Malfoy, I give full custody of my daughter, Adrienne Gwenyver Malfoy, to one Lily Audrey Potter. I have full confidence that my daughter will be taken care of, and that Lily, please, Lily, do this for me, and will take care of my daughter to the best of her abilities…"

The official could no longer continue as the very confused red-head fell over, and a little girl began crying.

"Why couldn't he give his kid to me? I'm his brother!" Drew exclaimed, knocking over a water pitcher.

"_Reparo._ Drew! Really! If you have not bothered to notice, you are going to have your own kid, so stop complaining!" Bray said, smacking Drew on his arm.

"YOU'RE CARRYING MY CHILD? WHY DID YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE? MY BABY IS IN YOU! YOU SHOULDN'T BE STRESSING YOURSELF!" Drew said, transfiguring his wife's chair into a recliner.

"See Hermione, this is why I didn't tell him." Bray said.

"Okay, you're right. Here are your five sickles." Hermione, the woman with frizzy hair, said, digging out her purse.

"Earug…" Came from the rumpled body of one Lily Audrey Potter.

* * *

May 23rd, 2:31 PM

My Bedroom

Hello. My name is Lily Audrey Potter. And this is my second diary—EVER. I know, I am quite shocked too. But I have a reason to start a new diary nearly ten years after finishing my last one.

I am a mother. And I didn't even have sex with anyone! Like anyone would like to have sex with an advice columnist (_What is your suggestion on the best way to have sex?_). No, my freaking ex-boyfriend FROM TEN YEARS AGO decided to make me the mother of his only daughter. Why me is my question. Why pick someone who hardly remembers to wear shoes to work to care for your kid?

Oh great…she's crying. I don't know what to do to make her stop, either!

Lily

* * *

May 26th, 11:23 PM

My Living Room

So, to make the Screaming Child shut up (I swear, there was a reason I didn't want children), I resorted to what any sane person would do.

I ran to Mummy.

I held the kid…I suppose I should call her Adrienne, it is her name…anyways. Dad answers the door, and strange as always.

"Lily! Why…you had a baby! When did you have a baby? When did you get married? Why didn't you invite your family?"

"Dad…"

"Lily—you didn't have the child out of wedlock, did you?"

"…Dad…"

"Oh…I know your mother and I made that mistake, but really Lily, what did your mummy and I tell you about that? You know that's wrong, and—"

"DAD! Please, I did not have this child out of wedlock. And of course I would have invited you if I got married. No, I did not have a baby. Let's just say that Dan Malfoy had no idea what he was doing when he decided to place his child in my custody."

"You mean, that's not your kid?"

"No Dad. Dan willed his child over to me. Now, how do you…" Unbeknownst to me, the whole time my dad was rattling off, Adrienne had stopped crying.

"Hawy Poder!" She exclaimed, pointing to my dad, her eyes wide.

"Yes, sweetie, that is Harry Potter. He is going to be your new grandfather. Just like I am your new Mummy."

"Daddy?" She asked, looking around. "Daddy? DADDY!" And she started crying.

"Merlin...Dad! How do you make her stop?" And this is where my Mum worked her magic.

"Harry, why are you…Lily! Is that Dan's daughter? Oh bring the poor dear here!" She stepped outside, and took Adrienne from me, coddling her, and generally fussing over her. "Oh Lily, why didn't you bring her here right away? You know _nothing_ about raising children!"

"No shit, Mum."

"Lily! No bad language around…well…"

"Adrienne, Mum, her name is Adrienne." I said, walking over to where my mother had placed her on the sofa.

"Well, Lily, go prepare a bath for Adrienne, she looks like she hasn't had one all week! And she needs one. Poor dear, Dan dieing suddenly like that!" She continued fussing over Adrienne. "Say, what happened to his wife?"

"He never had one," my brother, Remus said, cleaning off an apple. "He hooked up with some muggle girl and she left as soon as she found out he was a wizard. Left when she was seven months pregnant. Nasty shock for Dan. Sirius came running into my flat when Pandora was over, screaming about how Dan had a baby on his front stoop."

"He impregnated some random muggle?" My other brother, James said, drinking a goblet of…something. "Great blood by the way, Mum. You have to get me more."

"James, why can't you ever live on your own?" Remus said.

"Well, it's kinda hard to get a job. 'So, what do you do in your spare time?' 'Oh, I sit around; suck blood most of the time.' Yeah, that looks great on recommendations." James said, sneering.

"Well, you could work at Fred and George's shops." Remus said, biting his apple.

"I can't be out in the sun! You know that! It's hard enough living here!"

"…Daddy? Daddy…Daddy…" Adrienne looked at me. "Mummy!" She said, and reached for me. I scooped her up, holding her.

"Yeah, little squirt, it's me, Mummy."

"You know, James, I never thought I'd see the day when Lily would raise children! I mean look, she couldn't remember to put on new pants!" I looked down, and sure enough, I was still in my flannel house pants.

"Oh, shut up."

* * *

May 30th, 5:32 PM

My Cubical

You know, I just might murder the editor of the _Daily Prophet._ I know it's where I work and everything, but do you think they would let me have a month to work at home? I have to get Adrienne settled and all that jazz, and now they are threatening to fire me if I don't show up tomorrow.

Seriously, maybe Tom Finland should try raising a two-year-old who they just met last week!

Great. I have an owl.

Lily

* * *

Ten Minutes Later

My couch

You have got to be kidding. This is insane. Who would think of this? Oh, yeah. Libby. Seeing as her name is right here in bright pink ink. Well, it's good to know some things don't change.

The owl brought me this:

**HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY**

_Invites, you, **Lily Audrey Potter**, to join in your ten-year class reunion._

_Dress is formal, and you are asked to bring any family or significant others you might have obtained._

_Thank you,_

_President of the Hogwarts Reunion Committee, _

_**Libby Vanderbilt**_

What in the world? A ten-year reunion? You have to be kidding me. This can't possibly be real.

"Lily!" Someone from the fire is yelling. I look over. It's Bray.

"Hey, did you get one of these reunion invites?" I ask her head.

"Yeah, but you have something more serious to worry about." She said.

"What's that?"

"JAY'S IN LABOR!"

Lily

* * *

May 31st, 4:23 AM

St. Mungo's

Jay is still in labor. The healers said that she is having twins. How lovely. Twins. Sean is freaking out, running around. He has coffee all over him, and is mumbling to himself. Bray is rubbing her abdomen, going over baby names with Drew.

"So, what if we have a boy? What about Max?" She is saying.

"No. How about Ronald? What is wrong with Ronald?" Drew is saying, writing Max on a scroll along with twenty thousand other names. Adrienne is sitting next to me, yawning.

"Mummy…Mummy…" She is saying.

"Adrienne, I am right here. Auntie Jay is having twins deary! And Mummy promised Auntie Jay she would stay here for the birth."

"…Okaw…" And she fell back asleep.

"Oh dear lord…LILY! How is Jay?" Great, Mum and Dad are here.

"Hello Mum. Jay is still in labor. She's having twins now."

"Oh, goodness."

Well, I need to go calm Sean down. He's crying because he doesn't know what to name his other daughter. "What about Molly? Does Molly sound okay? Or, what about Inyx?"

"Sean, you can't name your kid Inyx. That's my sister's name." Drew said.

"Oh…what about Pigmy?"

Lily

* * *

June 1st, 3:23 AM

St. Mungo's

I'M A GODMOTHER! I'M A GODMOTHER!

Jay gave birth to two perfectly healthy twin girls. They look just like their mummy; it's so cute to see them all together. My godchild is Danica Faye, whilst Bray has Edlyn Gwendoloena as her godchild. It's so cute, I love their names.

Drew was screaming when Sean came out saying that Danica and Edlyn had been born. "I'M AN UNCLE! I'M AN UNCLE! I'M AN UNCLE!"

"Yes Drew, you are an uncle. Now, hush. The people are giving you strange looks." Bray said, swatting Drew with _The Witch Weekly_. "Hey Lily, seems like the _Prophet_ is missing their advice columnist."

"What?" I said, digging into my bag. "I know I sent that owl in. I told them I was working from home!"

"So? It's not like you're advice was the greatest. 'Dear Miss Advice, How do I apologize for turning my friend's face green? Not-So-Green' 'Oh, just let your friend turn you blue.' Really Lily, I think you're losing your touch." She said.

"Oh, shut up."

"Lily! Thank goodness!"

"James? What are you doing here?" I said, confused.

"In Dan's will, he said that I should be godfather incase he wouldn't live to see it. So I am…uh…the first born twin's godfather." He said, ruffling his hair.

"You mean, Dan was supposed to be godparents with me?" I asked.

"Yeah, only now, he's dead. And you have his kid. Say, Lily, you going to that Hogwarts Reunion? I'm not, but I saw the invitation on Mum's counter."

Shit. I COMPLETELY forgot about that. And we are supposed to send in our owls tomorrow…

"C'mon Lily, I'm going! You should too, it'll be fun!" Bray is saying, while she works on…something.

"Bray, my arm is not open for tattooing." Drew is saying, getting his arm back. "No matter how washable eyeliner is."

"Please Lily? I don't want to be stuck with _him_."

"Hey! I'm not that bad!" Drew exclaimed in his defense.

"Drew, you had a farting contest with a suite of armor. The armor won."

"Oh. Good point."

"So Lily, are you going to come?"

"I suppose…" I said, gathering Adrienne. "Adrienne's getting worn out. I'm gonna go home. Let me know if anything happens with Jay or Danica and Edlyn, okay?"

And I floo'd Adrienne and myself home. I need to work on my article, but I'm too tired…and Adrienne is in here complaining of bad dreams…Merlin, I hate motherhood….

Lily

* * *

June 23rd, 9:23 AM

Hogwarts, Gryffindor Tower

I haven't been here in so long. It's been ten years, which is way too long. This is my second home, I was born here!

And now Adrienne has found the floo powder.

And now it's all over Gryffindor Tower.

Anyways, the only other people who are here at the moment are Sirius and Remus, which is incredibly boring because they are having a contest, seeing how far they can get up the girl's stairs before it turns into a slide.

Someone's just walked in…oh…its Benny, one of my old friends. He used to play drums in my band. When I had a band. Only now I don't, because I am twenty-seven, and according to my mum people my age don't have bands. Pfft. Benny brought his pet snake, Ralph, and it's exploring the common room. Adrienne is following it, trying to touch it, but failing.

The door opened again and now…and now Libby is walking in.

"Oh…hello. I didn't know you all were coming. You should have _simply_ let me know!"

"Yeah, Libby, but you know, sometimes people just don't want to let you know things." Sirius said, picking up his shoe.

"Whatever. You all need to go down to the Great Hall, we're having brunch."

So now we're trooping down to the Great Hall.

Lily

* * *

Later

The Grounds

This is what brunch was like:

Bray: LILY! OVER HERE!

Me: Bray, dear, you don't have to yell. I'm right here.

Bray: Oh, right…

Me: Where's Jay?

Bray: She had to take Danica and Edlyn to an appointment with the healers, Danica is showing signs of early magic.

Adrienne: Mummy…Dani is showing magic? I can do magic! Watch!

She looked over at Benny's snake and talked to it.

Adrienne (in a weird hissing sound): Issthic…Ashicissth…Ethicasth…

Bray: Lily…did…did you…

Me: Oh…dear Merlin…Adri…

Adrienne: Yes, Mummy? Oh! Mummy, watch this!

She said some more things to the snake and it did a rendition of a tango. Then the snake curled up and jumped about a bit, and slithered off.

Adrienne: See Mummy? I can make Ralph do tricks! Can I get a snake, Mummy?

Me: Uh…Adrienne…I dunno. Mummy doesn't like snakes…that much…

Adrienne: Oh pwees? Grand-daddy has one!

Me: Yes, dear, but Grand-daddy got the snake when Mummy left.

Adrienne: Okay, Mummy….

Bray: You're kid is a Parsletounge!

Me: …Yeah, I know…Did you know that?

Bray: Lily, I just watched her talk to Ralph and make him do the Tango.

Me: Yeah, right.

Jay (really excitedly): Bray! Lily! Drew! Danica is a metamorphous! Isn't that great?

Drew: That's great! Maybe Danica can turn into a snake and Adrienne can talk to her!

Jay: That's a great id—wait. Adrienne can talk to snakes?

Me: Yeah. My kid's a freak.

Bray: Now Lily, didn't your mother ever teach you anything? It's not what's on the outside that counts but the inside.

Me: Yeah, but on the inside my daughter talks to snakes and wants one! And I didn't even give birth to her!

Lily

* * *

Much Later

Some dark corner

You know, I thought that when I left Hogwarts that the needless gossip would go away, too.

Apparently, I was wrong. Apparently.

By the time I say that my kid is a freak, Libby walks up to us. She is apparently overjoyed that my kid is a freak.

Libby: Aww…how cute! Like mother like daughter! You produced a freak!

Me: First off, I did NOT give birth to Adrienne. And secondly, my daughter is NOT a freak. Finally—

Libby: Oh look! It's your freaky self-mutilating ex!

Me: It's not mutilation, its injury, and what are you talking about?

Bray: Hey! It's Heath!

Me: What?

I turned around, and there was Heath, walking towards us. You know, the Ravenclaw that I dated in seventh year. And then he left me because I was apparently still in love with Dan. This of course, is not true. But funnily enough, I ended up with Dan's kid any ways. Weird how things work out.

Heath: Lily, Jay, Bray, Drew! It's so great to see you guys! And Lily…you're married?

Me: Uh, no. I happened to "inherit" Adrienne. I didn't give birth or any of that.

Jay: What she means to say is that Dan gave her his kid when he died.

Heath: Dan died?

Jay: Yeah, where have you been for ten years?

Heath: I've been on tour.

Me: On…wait…on tour?

Heath: Yeah. I'm an infamous modern piano player. I have a couple music awards for it, too.

Drew: Well, good for you! Have you settled down at all?

Heath: No, not really. I've dated a few times, but when people see things other than my face, they get freaked out and leave.

I suddenly felt bad. I knew what he was talking about. He had scars covering his body, some not all that nice looking. I didn't care about them when we went out, I didn't know Heath cut for a long time, and when I did it didn't matter when I found out. It never occurred to me that others might be repulsed by his scars.

Me: So…um…

Jay: Look! Danica's hair is black!

Sean: Jay, it's been black all day.

Jay: Oh…right…

Libby: So, Lily, still have a thing for cutters?

Me: Libby, mind your own business.

Libby: So that's a yes, I take it? Funny, because I thought you might fall for a FUREK!

Bray (rubbing her protruding stomach): You know some people need to learn how to be nice.

Drew: Bray, you aren't a mother yet.

Bray (smacking Drew): Tell that to the lump.

Drew got down by his unborn child and started whispering to it.

Drew: Baby, you're not born yet. So Bray isn't a Mummy. Tell her so, okay kid?

Bray: Drew…just…go get me some food.

So Drew went to get Bray food, and Libby went off to her group of friends who look exactly the same, only they have children hanging off of them with their pinkies up as they drink from their bottles. She then told them about Heath and I being reunited and "our passionate love for each other that could not be restrained, and we jumped on each other the minute was saw each other." Um…yeah. Sure.

Maybe in a world where men dated advice columnists. Really, the dates are a drag. The bloke sits there for ten minutes asking your advice on the quality of the salmon, and if he should start eating kippers to raise libido. Not that kippers raise libido, because they don't. Then, they continue to ask your advice on what he should get his sister for Christmas and if it's impolite to send it twelve-year-old niece chocolate for Easter. It's then that you realize that the guy sitting across from you is forty-something and you are twenty-seven, with a two-year-old child at home, even though you have never had sex with its father.

Quite depressing, really.

So Jay decided to let Danica and Edlyn play, while Bray patted her stomach. It was just like old times, only two of us have children, and another is about to. Makes you feel old.

Bray: So, Drew and I decided on a name. We decided to let our kid have a good old normal name, because I think something about us should be well, boring and normal.

Jay: You mean, my kid's names are freaky?

Bray: No, they aren't THAT bad. I mean, at least your kid isn't named Moses or something. No offence to anyone named Moses, or anything.

Me: Hey, I have no complaints. I didn't name Adrienne, so I'm leaving it at that.

Bray: Yeah, you didn't have to sit up at four in the morning listening to Drew go on and on about how James would be a great name. It was then I reminded him that his best friend is named James.

Me: I worry about Drew sometimes.

Jay: Me too. At least Sean only woke me up at two to talk about the name Hayden. I then reminded him that we weren't having a son.

Bray: Lily! You should write a column on what to name your children!

Me: Bray…no…

Adrienne: Mummy! Lookie! A snake!

Me: Oh Merlin. What did you make it do this time?

Adrienne: I only made it slither across some lady who called me a loser.

Me: Who called you a loser?

Adrienne (pointing): That lady.

She was pointing at Libby. I wanted to scream. How dare she call my child a loser?

Me: …Did she scream?

Adrienne: No…I was kinda hoping she would…but she just looked at the snake, saw me talking to it, called me a loser, and charmed it off of her.

Me: Okay. Mummy will take care of it. You play with Danica and Edlyn. Mummy will talk to that lady.

I have to go kick some posh ass.

Lily

* * *

Later, but the same day

Hospital Wing

Libby and I had a huge fight. It was fun.

I walked over to her, and she looked at me, ready to start her usual stream of insults when I slugged her in the face. "Don't you dare call my child a loser."

"Well, she is." Libby said, clutching her face. "FREAK!" And she smacked me. I punched her, she grabbed my hair, I smacked her hand, she kicked me, and I grabbed her hair. We fell down on the ground, and rolled around, trying to pull each others hair out, kicking, until we fell in the lake.

"MUMMY!" I heard Adrienne scream as Libby tried to drown me.

"Lily! What are you doing?" I heard someone yell, and a strong hand grabbed me. "Lily, come on, get out of there. You don't need to be drowned." I turned around.

"H-Heath! Thanks, um…I needed that. Thanks." I grabbed a towel Bray held out, and turned to Libby. "Bitch," I said, and walked away to Adrienne. I grabbed Adrienne and hugged her. "Mummy promises on one will ever call you names again, okay?" She nodded and I kissed her on the top of her head.

"Lily! I'm naming my kid Sam!" Bray yelled.

"So, what's for lunch?" I said as I passed out.

Lily

* * *

June 22nd, 6:53 AM

On the train to London

Well, after I passed out, nothing really happened. Really, I was transported home and found a note next to some pain potion saying that Adrienne was at Bray's house. I'm on my way to London to go back to work. Bray is on maternity leave from her job at the Ministry (Press Representative for the Magical Monsters department), so she offered to baby sit until I can find a full-time baby sitter for Adrienne. I needed to go back to work. I was getting nasty owls threatening my potted plant by my window if I didn't come back soon.

It's my stop, I must be off.

Lily

* * *

Later, 10:26 AM

My Cubical

My dear socks. Is the magical world helpless?

_Dear Miss Advice:_

_My niece and I have a slight disagreement. She finds it acceptable to wear silver bracelets to parties, while I think she should wear gold; it goes better with her skin. What do you think? We are almost not talking because of this!_

_Sincerely Missing Her Niece in Wales_

Are these people helpless? Really, the color of BRACELETS? This is getting ridiculous. This world needs help. I quit.

* * *

One minute later

Same place

Okay, maybe not.

* * *

Twenty minutes later

Staff lounge

Someone sent me flowers. SOMEONE SENT ME FLOWERS! I was sent a dozen black roses with a note that said:

_I hope it's not forever over, for I fear that my love for you still pounds as the beat of a drum goes on._

_Yours forever,_

_Anonymous_

Isn't it terribly romantic? I think so. I tried to find out who sent them, but the delivery owl had no hint. It was very depressing. Although, the person did say 'I hope it's not forever over,' which would imply that we would have had a former relationship. And that can only be two people, one of which is dead…

Lily

* * *

Much later

Heath's Flat, his bathroom, exactly

It was Heath. Heath sent me the roses; Heath is still in love with me. The scary thing is, is that I think I still love him too. It's all confusing. He told me that he has been pining over me for years, nine to be exact, and didn't know what to do until he saw me yesterday and decided to make his move. It's all very romantic, but the thing is, is how can I be in a relationship with a full time job and a child? That and it's very hard to deal with Dan's suicide. I mean, it was so sudden, no one knew that he was going to die like that. No one thought that he would perform the killing curse on himself, considering how much he loved Adrienne. Everyone thinks he was forced into it, though, which I think is entirely possible, but really. Adrienne hasn't gotten over Dan dieing, and me thrusting her into getting used to another man, it would just be horrible for the poor child.

I'm still confused as to what to do. I think I love Heath, I really do. I haven't felt this way since when Dan and I started dating ten years ago. But I also have that hesitation because of Adrienne. But, what is like without taking a few risks?

Lily

* * *

June 24th, 5:56 PM

My flat

I decided to go out with Heath. Adrienne like him, he came around to lunch, and she was fine with him. I hope she is okay. I really do. I might not have been that excited about taking her in at first, but the kid has really grown on me. Which is saying something, seeing as I hate kids.

Anyways, when I picked Adrienne up yesterday, Sirius was over, visiting Drew, and I saw the cutest thing. Sirius was playing with Adrienne in a corner, and was giving her some "Uncle-y Advice."

"Adrienne, it's time I give you some Uncle-y Advice. Never marry…to excess. Don't smoke to excess. And never drink…to excess." Adrienne had no idea what Sirius was saying, but it was still cute, nonetheless.

Lily

* * *

September 25th, 4:56 AM

Heath's flat

I have the most exciting news. In a little bit more than a year, I will no longer I will be Lily Audrey Potter. That's right. Heath proposed, and I accepted. I am really excited, but I have also decided that this will be my last entry in a diary called 'The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter,' because, really, I'm not a Potter anymore. I mean, yeah, in my heart and appearance I will be, but legally I won't. I'll be entering a new part of my life.

So this is Lily Audrey Potter, advice columnist extraordinaire, only woman to ever save someone from a batch of rebellious house elves, sister of a vampire, infamous prankster, the only person to have ever set fire to Gryffindor Common Room, and a mother-soon-to-be-wife, signing off for the last time.

Lily

* * *

-Cries- Well, that's it. The end. No sequel, no next part, that's it. I hope you enjoyed it, and will continue to read Harry Potter fan fiction, and anything else I have written and will write.

_The Red Haired One_


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